Happy birthday to Mantou..!!

Received all the wishes ..!! Thank you, everyone..!!! (^^) i love you all ...!! hahaha.. =p

And haha..thanks, EG, JH and DC for the call. haahha..especially when DC talked to me over the phone, without identifying himself initially, i was asked to guess who he was.
The funny portion was when he described himself as "tall and skinny, with moustache", the first person in my mind was LCB. muahhahaha.. the response by DC was almost highly reactive..!! hahaha..! and of course, when he finally identified himself, i was kinda surprised. one was cos i din expect him to wish me happy birthday, the other was that he bears the same name as dennis. hahaha..last time when i was still attached, i used to look at DC and was wondering how dennis will look if he had the moustache too..hahahhaa..!! and whenever DC sits near me, i will feel nervous cos he has the same name as dennis. haahhaha..! goodness me..



See these two dresses? hee..they were given by the Lame Club..!! hahaha..from M, C, WL, PM, KP etc etc..

So sweet of them..!! i din expect that they remember my birthday, as it's been a real long time since i catch up with them. and i have not been participatin in any of the gathering..

Furthermore, later in the day, they called and sang me a birthday song..!! I am totally touched...!! Almost wanted to cry over the phone..cos i was really touched when they sang together over the phone..!! (T_T) but of course, i din cry...i was so touched that i can't help myself saying, "I love you ALL.." hahahaha..!!

They were really really sweet..!! (^^)

haha..it's a simple action from them but i simply love it..! simple but sweet.. (^^)

And i simply love the dresses..!! Heard that they were chosen by PM and WL..! So sweet..!! Love these two dresses. One is sweet and the other is elegant. I will definitely be wearing the pink one for my colleague's wedding dinner in Fullerton Hotel. haha..!!
but i need to get something to enhance the overall feel of the dress..hahaha..!!

THe "Helen the Baby Fox" dvd. given by dennis. =)

Went for dinner with him. =p

The dinner was surprisingly enjoyable. Had a good chat with him. still love to have conversation with him. cos he's pretty open-minded and can talk anything under the sun. it's the same old him in this area.

but definitely he's more confident. More outstanding now.

Probably it's been a long time since i had a good chat with him. I am feeling very much better now and today.

Really enjoyed my birthday today. =)

Vibrant Blood 2007 in Harbourfront NEL Station on 23rd June

Vibrant Blood - Start Young.

Probably it's still early and the whole drive only started. haha..response was relatively low initially.

These 2 kids are the children of the first donor of today. See the girl on the left? haha..dun know, at one moment, she just suddenly leaned towards me. haha..!

Noticed this was pasted behind every chair of each voluntary donor. Very interesting. Guess this was meant for some mini entertainment for the donors who were going to go for medical screening.

Food..!! For the donors after they had donated their precious blood..!!

This is my friend who was the blood donation drive mascot. haha..we went to Outram and Doby Ghaut mrt station to promote the drive. here, we were taking a short break.

Taken in Doby Ghaut station.

Arg...!! why no one comes to shake hand with me..!! (T_T)

The Sleeping Blood Buddy

The "Break Dance" Blood Buddy

The "Ultrablood" Buddy to the Rescue..!!

Taking photos with kids. The mascot attracted many kids, as well as scaring a small number of them too. hahaha..!

Waving..!! HELLLooOOO..!!

Ever seen a mascot sitting down in the train?

HEllLOoooOO..!! Come donate blood..! Be someone special..!! =D

Another photo shot of Blood Buddy with kids.

Ever seen Blood Buddy take the MRT train?

Haha..here's one.

By the time the mascot team was back to the donation centre, there were many people coming forward to donate blood..!!

Even one of the Vibrant Blood Drive members came forward to donate blood. hahaa..tis is my fren. was rejected the first time when we went to the Blood Bank to donate blood. But this time, he got the chance to donate blood for the first time..!! =D

And you know who is this?
hhaha..Yes, tat's me in the mascot costume.


Thank you..!!!!!!
See ya all in Vibrant Blood 2008..!!

Happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me..
happy birthday to me.......
happy birthday to me.

wonder how the day will be like.
getting paranoid.

sigh.

Alright, people.

Time to announce my last final stuff which i have long kept from every reader here.

Gotten the letter of acceptance from Singapore College of Traditional Chinese Medicine.

I have been successfully selected to study the course.

Part-time, night course. Starting in mid-july.

The whole course will take me 7 years to complete and graduate.

When i first received the letter, dun know why, i was kinda emotionless. maybe my birthday's coming close, and i can't really force myself to look forward. and also, can't share this good news.

one thing popped up in my mind at that immediate time:

"this is it. More stress."

But definitely i am happy to be selected. this time, i have to work towards my dream. i have lost the opportunity to do well in "A" levels and try getting into medicine course.
This opportunity. It will be my only path to my dream.

Lessons will be conducted in chinese. Words in chinese. Speak in chinese. Even the biological and medical terms will be in chinese. goodness me...i am really nervous.

this time, i wanna do well in this course. Do well like Da Chang Jin. haha..but i dun want to have a difficult life like her.

but dun worry, i will still strive for doing well in my environmental engineering course.

my mum is so super duper conservative. so super narrow minded.

sometimes i can't even start a good conversation on that topic with her.

Yes, had a slight argument with her. basically she is like living in the ancient times. it's really tough to get along with her at times.

sometimes, i really have this urge of wanting to stay in my school hostel. At least could get rid of her unreasonable interrogations.

while i am blogging at this time, she is interrogating me right now. and she is making all the unreasonable assumptions now. keeps saying this....that...

sometimes it's really irritating.

i want to complain, i feel i can't even call to complain to anyone.

sigh. what a day to start for a new day.

Counting down.
I wonder how it will be like. but anyway gotten my that day to be so-called packed with activities. Will be spending almost half the day, helping out in Vibrant Blood. Followed with Uncle Tiu's retirement dinner in st john HQ (HQ again..!!) ...hhaha... knew Uncle Tiu in a duty, find him very grandfather-ly..hope it'll be a good day for me, though i will not be doing anything to celebrate the day.

anyway considered a good day today.
Finally...
1st things first.

my prof replied. and the conversation was more light-heartening and optimistic. so grades will be highly optimistically given.

Second, bought a flat-platorm shoes for only 10 bucks.

Third, bought mascara and blush. Arg..can't believe i will buy them..! will be using them to attend my colleague's wedding dinner. but before that, need to practise..and oh ya..need to buy make-up remover..etc etc..
wonder whether my eyes will really become bigger when put on mascara and eye-liner.....

Fourth, gotten another project from my supervisor. work load's getting more.
Good.
At least can make me forget about things.

yup, tink tat's all..

Oh ya, my mum told me that this morning/afternoon, a pair of birds flew across my house - through the balcony windows, through the living room and dining room and out of the window.
to me, it's a good sight. Cos it's a pair of birds. To me, allow me to firmly assume tat it's a pair of male-female couple birds (not lesbian, or gay couples).
I wonder what this sight is trying to tell me. did think of something, but i am not going to reveal my thoughts here..but for those who know me well, i think they might be able to grasp my thoughts.

juz gotten an early birthday wish from a st-john junior. din really know him, so kinda surprised to get a wish from him. and hahaha..he's the first small boy who will ask me whether i wanna be her elder sister..muahhaa..! and of course, i rejected. i already have 2 youngers brothers..!

haa..

Deleted the first two messages.

not that i feel better.

i did feel better after going to gym to exercise. and i was surprised with what depression can get me to. i perform better than when i am not depressed. my stamina is empowered.

anyway i think i manage to chase one guy away. YEAH..!!!
i think he will not like me.
i am not those typical girls.

anyway i am going to get up myself. me not going for counselling sessions, cos i will expect what they will say..

anyway dun worry about me, people. i will go exercise more and read more motivational books, and read my hymn book more.

haha..taken today in marina square..

photo is kinda blur, cos of my stupid camera which had been brought back from HK. something is wrong with the camera, it juz doesn't feel right..

anyway went to marina square with hm and jac to celebrate jac's birthday..HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAC..!!! =D

din manage to buy anything..wanting to buy a pair of high heel shoes, which are much higher than my current one..starting to prepare of what to wear for my colleague's wedding dinner.
haa...

went to eat anderson ice cream..very yummy..!! (^-^)

kinda enjoyed myself though din manage to buy anything. =p

probably like what i was given the advice, dun put in 100% love in a person..cos if the other party doesn't love u more than u love the person, the ending will only be hurting urself the most.

anyway now for the good news...

Gotten the first choice for my final year project. will be doing the project with hm.
it's regarding "sequential production of biohydrogen and biomethane from food waste by using a novel phase-separated anaerobic fermentation system".
it's one of my fav profs' project. he's a prof from taiwan and i like him a lot.
he's passionate about environmental conservation, which i am too.
and he's a very caring prof, who remembered to offer a drink packet to a bus driver.
hope this time, me and hm are lucky to get a great prof who will help us all along.

personally, i think as long as both of us are environmentally passionate, he is most willing to help us. hm maybe passive, but it's alrite..! i can be the active person who show passion for saving the environment..!!
if possible, try to build a good relationship with him. and hopefully HOPEFULLY could work under him as a research student, even though some of my results are not good. =p
it's a dream, but hmm..i wanna give a shot. =p

As for my prescribed elective subjects, i have gotten my first two choices too...!!
they are "surface water quality" and "environmental hydraulics". Very happy..!! (^^)
especially when i can get "surface water quality". cos it's going to be a so-called requisite for building one of my dreams.

15th june is a good day. =)

but most importantly, i hope i could get one more thing. once this thing succeeds, my dreams are starting to build up.

and maybe going to be tiring for myself, but i have to press on.

rite now, i finally have dreams. Dreams to work towards them.
it's all credited to Chia Se Project 2006.

Really, if it wasn't for this trip, i wouldn't have found dreams and motivation to work towards..
i dun know whether i can do it, as i have 2 semesters' results which are not good, especially last semester.

anyway people, tell u more when my last thing succeeds.

one very nice song..lyrics are romantic, but a bit impractical - basically i am pretty sceptical about relationship and all now, so kinda mixed feelings towards this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1cJ83POi3E

very nice mtv, very touching...love the lyrics and the whole story plot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxdfZK0YPxE

and obviously me start to cry again while watching it...i always cry while watching this mtv..

work's not going well for me. probably due to lack of sleep last night, i completely had no energy to think.

surprisingly saw dennis around my house area when i was walking home from the bus-stop.

and i was wearing a pair of shorts and my nerdy specs. (-_-)

be going out with hm and jac. jac's birthday ..!!

shopping for clothes and highly likely for cosmetics..

and as what i expected, my parents started nagging at me wasting money on clothes, and kept saying that whether there is a need to wear so nice.

obviously they seem not to have any idea of the change out there.

Cried the whole night.

Crying for things which served myself right.

probably like what i was told.
just accept the fact and move on.

Ya, i think i just have to live with it.
afterall, it's me who hurt him.

Think dennis'll not be reading this..so i dare to write all these down.

he's really starting to move on with his life. and he's changing.

to someone whom i may not be familiar with.

could be mainly due to my fault. cos i initiated the break-up.

he's really moving on, and is moving even much faster than me.

i have this feeling that he'll be attached soon.

but definitely not to me.
cos i have this strong feeling that i will no longer be in his consideration at all.

i thought i move on.
but now, i feel i am not at all.
i am moving on very slowly.

is it that i dun want to move on?
or i can't find any reason to move on?

of course, i will still feel happy for him when he is attached to a girl who is so much better than me (in terms of looks, brains etc).

I have to feel happy, rite?

Maybe he's already thrown away all the paper cranes and the cross-stitches which i gave to him.

and me?
i am still using the wallet which he gave to me.
i am still using the handphone which he bought for me, when i lost my very first handphone.
i still keep a photo of him in the phone.

and i will often be constantly reminded of his presence whenever anything related to things he likes etc...

so maybe you will ask.
then why in the first place i initiated the whole breakup, and now making myself cry in silence?

well, people.

sigh.

u can never understand.

he's living to the fullest, and he is happy. and he is doing very well in school, and in his social life.
when he is no longer attached to me.

so u get any point?

in my life, happiness always seems to exist to people around me when it doesn't come to me.
probably, this is my life.
a life which i will cry in silence or in pain, in solitude, but my tears could create many happiness for others.

highly emotionally mentally physically affected...

my attachment work's been of ups and downs.

having communication problems with my attachment tutor.
basically he had written a very threatening mail to me and my other frens that we will not be getting any IA (industrial attachment) marks.
luckily he called me after sending his this terrible sounding mail..and frankly speaking, i could not understand what he was saying..i can't really confirm whether he lets us hand in and grade us...

the only thing i could understand was that he said that we had not replied to his most recent mail.
BUT the thing was,
before his most recent mail, i had sent him several mails regarding the submission of report, and there was no reply from him at all..

furthermore, he is on leave now..!!
which means he could only get to read my final report and my evaluation form next week..!!

(T_T)

i am totally stressed up, frustrated, nervous, paranoid, troubled, bothered..

and recently, my stomach is not in a good condition. today it made very weird noise which i dun know whether my colleague sitting diagonally opposite me could hear it. I did not want to be mistaken for something embarassing.
basically, I am feeling sick..ill..
and i need to start to watch out for my diet and lifestyle.

got back my second attachment form from my supervisor. A optimistic one.
=)

I am happy, but i am more worried. worried that i worked so hard for 6 months, and no grade given to me..

(T_T)

I am very sad...

It's my company's inter-department netball game today.

Playing the WD (Wing Defence).
I think i did pretty well during the game, cos i managed to defend the WA (Wing Attack) player pretty well that the other players found difficulties in passing the ball to her.

Later in the next match with another team, i played GD (Goal Defence), a role which i am completely new. But cos i was not very familiar, so din play well, especially the stupid 3-feet gap from my opponent GA (Goal Attack).

Anyway decided to stop playing after the 1st half of this match.

Got a very bad nasty cramps on my right calf. Ended up sitting on the steps of a staircases for pretty long time. Lucky thing i know some first aid. But at that point, i felt the whole scene of me sitting there all alone was kinda pathetic. For a moment, i wish i can call someone who is close to me and to be fetched home.

But then, the pain was so painful that it shifted my attention back to my injury. muahhaha..!!

I wanna change my wallet. Wanna have a more ladylike wallet cos i am still using the one which was given to me.

i think besides having pms, i think i have the high possibility of having periodical depression.
It just comes every month, as and when it likes.

Ya. Basically i cry more often than before. with reasons which i dun wish to state over here.

Industrial Attachment - Extension pending.

pending for confirmed approval for having my IA being extended.

They asked me yesterday.
Initially a little reluctant. Cos will have little time to rest if i were to agree for the extension.
but then again, if my IA was not extended, i surely complain of boredom after resting for about 2 weeks.

so might as well, juz agree to have it extended. Dun know whether will have higher wage, but well, i juz take it as a form of gaining working experience.

also, juz to continue the several projects which i am involved.
one of them is kicking off.

quite a boring day today. and a little depressed. partly could be tat my birthday is coming and i have this feeling that i am going to cry for that day. again. with the same mood.

but anyway me dun care much now. just work and keep working to occupy and push myself to higher limits.

you say i am crazy.
well, i always am.

I am losing myself anyway.

BORed.. (-_-)

I am totally bored.

Even though i had my tuition lesson.

totally bored.

nothing to look forward to.

and being paranoid about people again.

been wondering whether it is true that my fren is trying to ask me to go into MLM line.
cos i am very scared of being used.

writing report is so boring. it's dreadful...n i cannot understand why prof needs to read reports. it's so technical, so lack of human touch.

probably i could make a recommendation on the report, suggesting to replace the report with blog.

ahah..can either sound formal or friendly.
human touch. =)

cool ah?

who knows can even write a poem about ur feelings during the attachment period..

muahhaha..

sian ah...tmr still needs to stay home write my stupid boring technical report, with the neligible amount of human touch.

can't wait for my attachment to end...wannna take a good one-month break..before embarking on a total challenging,stressful journey...

hahaa..

somemore, can SHOP..!!!!!! =D

sometimes, i really miss my old days..
the days when i was in SAC, having fun with my classmates, doing the silly lame acts and dramas, n giving presentations...n when i was very confident about myself. when i really laughed and played.

AhhhhH..the good old days ....

gosh.

i feel old.

(T_T)

haha..yup yup, this is my new sunglasses -given by the S5 ladies..hahaha..!! so how do i look? =p

went to marina square and suntec wif a fren. initially found that this friend is really interesting to talk to, but later dun know why, i juz feel kinda weird...probably he starts talking a lot about his MLM stuff..not selling any product..but hmm..i feel it's kinda a coporate conversation almost throughout the whole outing. but definitely, gained a lot of knowledge from this fren.

and well, saw dennis's tjc frens - the rock-climbing couple. and i was pretty surprised that they actually know this fren..and i feel this is totally small world. and i have this strong feeling that this couple probably be thinking what i am doing out here with a guy, and not dennis. seemingly they have no idea of the latest updates.

anyway probably i kept repeating "this is such a small world"..it kinda gotten my fren's curiosity. Din tell him though, cos i juz feel i dun want to mention anything about it at that time, and probably he thought that i had some "hidden" notorious reputation in tjc, which is obviously untrue.. =p but oh well, i juz leave him guessing ..

hahahha..

sigh...je ne sais pas.

lOok at my hair..!! it's permed..!! muhaha..!!
taken in Vivo's "marche" restuarant



me and jac - the two "early" birthday gals. =D
and look at my hair..!! it's permed...!!! muahhaa...!!


be CONVINCED..!!!! that my hair's permed.. =p

haa...

more photos to come..i tink..

hmm..but i tink i look pale..dun know why..never look very radiant no matter how i smile and how happy i am with my these 4 frens..my smile is different from when i was in vietnam.
i prefer the smile i had in vietnam..probably over there, i'm totally free of stress and problems and reality.

probably tat's why i like to go for overseas community service...

met zj, hm, jac n sindy today in vivo city..

haha..glad to see them..!!
n hahaa..well, they all gave compliments that my hair looks better than the previous one..at least can see the curls.. muhaha..tis time, i believe my fren tjhin will be convinced that it is not useless...! muhahaa..!

and wore a long skirt today, matched with a tank-top..hahhahaa..
miracle rite..?
muahhaa..!!
Wanna find out how the comments will be from the ladies..about me wearing skirt..well, they said i look more gentle...
muahhahahaha..!!
but throughout the whole journey to meeting them, i was utterly nervous and paranoid..worry tis worry that...scare the skirt will be translucent under certain lighting..etc etc etc...
but then again, i still prefer jeans..hahaa.. =p

Got a pair of sunglasses from the ladies. basically they let me go to a shop n select the pair which fits me the most.. hee..it's from Topshop, and i love this pair of sunglasses very very very much..!!! XD
Will show u all next time over here..!! hahhaa...!

went to the "Marche" swiss restaurant to have lunch. initially it's kinda in a mess as the four of us, besides zj, have no idea of how to order food there. for me, i've been to this restuarnt once when a very good pal of mine brought me to eat. but then, i've kinda forgotten the system of ordering food there.. =p

went to vivo's pet safari to look at dogs while waiting for jac to come..guess what i saw..?? (^^) (^^)

SIBERIAN HUSKY..!! i saw him enjoying some grooming session...!! it's so big..!! and it's so so so so so so so handsome..!!!!!!
when it turned around and glanced at me, my heart melts...melts..melt melt...!! furthermore, while the staff was grooming its fur, it was not afraid at all, and was not trembling at all (unlike the other dogs which were waiting for their turns).

but it almost ruin my impression of it when it passed motion and pee in front of me (of course, separated by a glass panel)....goodness me..but immediately i coverd my eyes with my hands, think i wanna respect its privacy, or i can't bear to see this sight..or sth like that.. muhaha..!!

BUT BUT BUT..siberian husky is very very very very good-looking...!! furthermore, this dog which i saw today was at its mature stage..it is so big and huggable..and it is so good-looking, yet looks stern which give me that sense of security...!!! even zj agreed with me on the spot that it is very good-looking..! muhahhaa..!!

right now, the more i am certain to get siberian husky as my future pet dog..! i could say it's the only breed which can make my heart melt ...and i can't simply take my eyes off it...

but today's gathering was considerably short..felt a bit sad cos din manage to spend more time with zj....

and oh ya, they forgot to sing me and jac a birthday song too..!!

muhahaha..!! =p

went to Taka and wisma in the evening with hm and jac...and i bought a white tank-top from "Potpourri"...50% off..!! and i love the ethnic design..!!

will bring my mum go orchard, shop for her clothes next time..hahaha..

anyway still, thank u,zj hm jac n sindy..!! really love the present ...!!!

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT...!!!

thank you..!!! (^^)

Finally it's here...the great singapore sale...! =D

WEnt to raffles city's "Island Shop" and bought a blouse. haa..nice nice nice.. (^^) it's 50% off..! goodness me..! love the blouse lots..!

saw a bag which i have been searching high and low..20% off..great deal..buying it on monday..!! =p

Kinda wanting to purchase contact lenses..those which could make my eyes look bigger..haha..never mind, will consult the ladies tmr..hee.. =p

somehow i juz feel i have so many things to buy..! clothes...jeans...shoes...bags...n probably cosmetics (to make my eyes look bigger..n look more refreshing)..also, need to pick up some simple make-up skills before i graduate, so that i could present myself better for job interviews..

it's discount..discount everywhere...! big BiG discount..!

So, starting to cut down on my meal budget..take it as a form of dieting..hmm..what else do i need to buy..?

oh ya, sunglasses..! might be purchasing one pair.. :p tink i've been influenced by zj liao.. =p

and of course, will definitely get my mum yelling.. (for the sake of my winged notes) ..haha..cool.. =p

going to start my tuition lessons again...sian...

and oh ya..received a wedding card from my colleague..dinner gonna be in fullerton hotel..! goodness me..! haha..gonna purchase a dress or something like that..

everyone around me who is attached is living a very blissful life...

Zj is absolutely blissful wif her current bf..

My this colleague who is holding the wedding dinner has been with her husband for 7 years..and yet they are still very happy with each other.. 7 years.....not an easy path, i guess. but well, my colleague's met a very good husband, whom i have seen him before.

my sjab altc (advanced leadership training course) "Espirin" platoon commander, ma'am hayani, is married..! goodness me me..!!

this is weird, a lot of people around me seem to be getting married recently..
ARG..! n i am still not married..! (T_T)

muhaaa..! but anyway dun tink will be attached these few years..i'll be busy and i've such a mum who seems to scare guys away..how to get married..?! muhahaa..! =p

a letter to mansze

Dear mansze,

how have u been? i've been fine, i guess.

Went to watch the musical "The Phantom of the OPera" on its last day of performance. Great musical, love the songs, and the settings. The clothes are brillantly tailored. Every little detail is responsibly and carefully taken care of. And this includes every performer on stage as well, they are awesomely professional. Take my hats off them.

The actor who is playing as Raoul is pretty goodlooking. haha..me sitting in the second row, in the middle of the stage. I had a gladful view of everything.

Love how space can be created just with the application of angles. Though find the development of the plot kinda rushy, i kinda pick up a few more threaterial skills.
hahaa..kinda have that feeling of directing another play.

Kinda learnt some threatre skills during my secondary school. How to act, how to place the setting, how to organise the climax of the plot etc etc...of course, learn further more from Arther Miller's "The Crucible" which i studied for one of my sec 3 literature texts.

Directed a few plays - here and there. hahha..

Then, how about you?

anyway, went to have my hair permed and i left the decision to the salon director. Not too bad. i like my fringe, i feel there's fringe. mine is done in a big wave style, which makes my hair look more permed. hhaa.. =p

alright, meeting the ladies this sat to have an early birthday celebration for jac and me..!! whaa..wonder what i am going to get.. =p
i know it's kinda early to have my birthday celebrated. but well, zj is flying for paris soon, and it'll not be fun to have one person missing. it juz feels weird and different. hee..

oh well, starting to have more work to do in the office..Enfin..!!!! me so happy happy..but i kinda feel stressed and worried that i'll not perform up to my expectations.
hope i will perform well. pray for me, ya?

anyway i have cancelled my phone's ID-caller service. find it useless now since rarely anyone calls and i rarely pick up the call. save that money. so if you wanna find me, juz msg me, or call reapeatedly..

FYP selection starts now..! Have you chosen yet? i have managed to find two projects which seem to match with one of my dreams..but it's a dual project. gotta find ppl who are interested..

Oh ya..!! before i forget..!
Wanna be someone special?

"Vibrant Blood 2007 - 22nd and 23rd June 2007 @ Harbour Front NEL Station. Be Someone Special, Donate Blood."

Come donate blood..!! I'll be there helping out on 23rd (yes, i know it's my birthday), but well, for the past 4 years, i always have things to do before or on my birthday..so, makes no difference this year..

alright, gonna stop writing. hands're getting tired. nice talking to you..you've been a great listener to me..

JIAYOu working loh..!

Regards,
mansze

tiring day today. played netball in my company's recreational centre. joined my department's netball team. having a inter-department competition next week. my reflex slowed down a lot, i realise. This is bad. Need to play some games recently, and exercise.

my colleague, J, went for the inter-department pool competition after the netball practice. so i tagged along for a while.

think i dun even step into the pool room. realise something about myself. i feel there's a hidden devil within me, it's only that i have been succumbing it all along.

anyway people, try not to call me nowadays, for i'll hardly pick up the call. Very soon, i will even remove the caller-ID service. find no point paying the exra 5 bucks.

reasons being?
My phone's been always on silent mode all along. it's either i din hear the phone vibrating or i completely have no mood to pick up the phone and talk.
All these months, i juz dislike opening up my mouth and talk. partly cos i've started to lose my sense of speech and expression.
even when i open my mouth to talk, it's all filled with crap, and grammatical errors.

so kinda mean, my presentation skills are failing in due time too. dun think i can do presentations well nowadays.

But if it's an urgent matter, do msg me after the call. or juz call repeatedly.
Sorry, i hope all of you will understand my situation.

what had happened to me? i have no idea too.
i only know b la bblabb la bbl abblab bl Kingshaw.

Now, bl abb labb labb labb lab b labb.

Somehow, b labb labb labb la bblab bla bblabblab.

Vanity is a strength.

"Vanity is a strength."

That's said by my this 2nd fashion consultant friend.
Talking to this friend again. and all the fashion "nagging" started. =p
I think he has good intention of telling me all these, partly to boost my confidence up?

Anyway, one thing for sure, he makes me realise the reality of human. Something which i have to force myself to accept it.

b la bblablab bla bb labbl blabb.

b la bblablab bl abbl abbla bl abbl.

and of course, b labb lab blabbl abb labb la b bla. =(

dun know what i am trying to say? it's alright. will keep my inner feelings confidential from now on, besides telling them to my S5 ladies.

this is juz a place where i can talk to myself. like a wholly sane nuts.

back to service ( temporary )

Dear Drdavinci.blogspot,

Yes.

I am back to service.

Talking to myself.

what i have been doing?
Hmm..too mnay things happened.

Low spirit, trying to get myself up.

why i am in low spirit? dun tell u all ... =p

been having nothing much to do in office recently. only have one assignment to do and i am doing like snail, partly due to the mass information given by my beloved internet, and the wholesome wordy words.

x_o

almost K.O.

feel totally taskless in office. i still dun know whether all my proposals have been accepted. Feel very scared and utterly worried. furthermore, my supervisor is not around in office quite often recently. my section feels so empty...and i feel so isolated... =(

i hope more tasks will come along, so that i feel more motivated to work harder and faster.

and i have this bad feeling that this time for my second evaluation will not be as good as the first one. first, i have not made much significant results. I am not pleased with my recent performance. Second, recently i am more talkative, and more restless. Third...fourth....fifth...

hope everything will go smoothly for me.

Fingers crossed.

Arg. i feel like i am talking to myself again.

Signed with confusion,
Drdavinci.blogspot.com

Drdavinci.Blog is now temporarily closed down.

A worthless worth

An extract from Susan Hill's "I'm the King of the Castle"

"
Kingshaw had found the clearing now. The stones were still there, piled up, from when they had built the fire. It seemed a long time ago. He didn't stop to look.

On the bank of the stream, he took all his clothes off, and folded them in a pile. He shivered and the water was very cold, silky, against his body. For a second, he hesitated, part of his mind starting to come awake. And then he thought of everything, of what else would happen, he thought of the things Hooper had done and what he was going to do, of the new school and the wedding of his mother. He began to splash and stumble forwards, into the middle of the stream, where the water was deepest. When it had reached up to his thighs, he lay down slowly and put his face full into it and breathed in a long, careful breath.

It was Hooper who found him, because he had known at once where he would have gone, they all followed Hooper, trampling and calling. The rain had begun again, dripping down on their heads and shoulders through the dark leaves.

When he saw Kingshaw's body, upside down in the water, Hooper thought suddenly, it was because of me, I did that, it was because of me, and a spurt of triumph went through him.

..."

###########--------------##############

Dear Depress,

You seem to find me at a time when i am not armed.

Right now, all because of you, i am confused.

For I have no idea what goes through inside my mind.

I realise you love to find me. you have played the whole world up with all your little tricks. but why are you doing that? have you been hurt? very hurt?

it's only 5th. it's not yet 25th.

sometimes, i just wish you could knock me off, and put me into sleep for days. I am always accompanied by Fatigue and I dun really need you to walk together hand in hand with me.

Very often, because of you, man finds serenity in sanity.

Very often, because of you, man finds sanity in desperation.

Very often, because of you, man finds insanity in blogging.

Because of you, I struggle through the search for companion.

Because of you, I struggle through the desire for sanity.

Because of you, I struggle through the identity for self.

You have hit where it hurts me most, aren't you happy now?

You have made me blog things which are totally ridiculous, aren't you proud?

You have made me blog as if I am talking to self, aren't you satisfied?

You never bring Hope along, for she's your enemy.

But you never bring Tears along, when you find me.

Probably I know how you victimise me.

Temper hardly finds me, and Tolerance and Sensitivity are always by my side.

They are un-armed, and you take advantage of them.

Victimise them, hoping I will fall.

Am I right?

Signed,

Paranoid.

Hmm..hhaa..hmm..think i'm depressed.

again.

haha.. hmm..

Just finished watching "200 pounds beauty" over youtube. =p

very touching movie. feel like crying... (T_T)

maybe i am really tired now. so tired that i got myself depressed.

sometimes, i just wish i will just faint out of extreme fatigue, and landed up myself in the hospital for days. or maybe not, just rest at home.

actually, to think about it, i really have no much idea of why am i working almost 24-7.
i only know only when i get myself busy with work, i can have the excuses of not going out with any guy friend (as in those 1-1 outing). Get myself tired, then i find myself wanting to rest at home, rather than to go out.

but of course, for my good friends, no matter what, i will still try to squeeze out time for them. hee...

dun know whether i am over-working myself. but i know, when my next semester starts, i know i am going to over-work myself.

but well, i dun care so much now. i just try to exercise more, and slim down more, so that i will find myself more confidence in wearing clothes. get myself vainer than before, and prevent myself from getting committed to another relationship. haha..

you know about the song "way back into love", the theme song for the movie "music and lyrics"? Yeah, that's what i have been feeling all along now, about relationship.

i dun mind over-working myself, cos at least i dun have the time to recall things which i dun want to be reminded.

call me crazy, or whatsoever, i dun care.

i only want to tire myself out.

FATIGUE

Yes.

I am fatigue again.

Been dozing off in office for the whole week. Probably due to my lack of sleep.

Morale in office has been very low. Probably i have this bad feeling that my proposal is turned down by my boss again. (T_T) dun know why, it's just a very strong and terrible feeling.

i just hope i dun doze off so often next week.

arg..........

and i'm starting to get fed up with many stuff...sigh...i juz wish this could stop.

really really really...

very tired now. wanna stop writing for today, or else i start to rattle depression again.

Beauty in Asia

"Beauty in Asia"

200 BCE to today.

Today's the opening ceremony held in Asian Civilisation Museum.

My dad's invited to attend this opening function, so since I am interested in this event, i tagged along, after my work.

haha..

wore the wrong pants today. wore black jeans, should have worn the pair of black working pants. haha..but well, i still looked presentable for the function.

Mainly showcases the chronological transition in the perception of beauty, especially asia. However, the displays are mainly from India, and Indonesia. Of course, china, japan, and vietnam beauty artifacts are showcased.

Many euporean guests went to attend this function. If i have not guessed wrongly, many are french. cos i overheard many of their conversation, and many words sound familiar.

But one thing for sure, one day, I will go take up french and obtain a cert for it. hahaha..
Can't learn alot from school's french lessons.

And oh ya, i saw the guy Channel News Asia news broadcast host...!! the guy who used to report news in the morning, or if not, in the afternoon..the one with a very big and bright pair of eyes, and with a very charming smile..

hahhaa..

i saw him..!! oh my goodness..!! (^^)

and i saw him several times, cos he walked past me several times..hahaa..!! (^^)

and my dad joked that people may mistake him to be bringing a young girl out..ahaha..but well, i told him that if that's the case, then i will put a message on my forehead, saying "I am his daughter." whahhaa...

overall, the function was alright. and my back is aching now. i've hardly stood up so straight before...cos normally i like to walk "slobbily" (forget how to spell), will keep my back straight while walking, but well, not that straight as today..

haa..

anyway heard from the organiser's speech that the art museum is going to hold an exhibition on copper craving of mona lisa (if i din remember wrongly). the exhibition will commence tomorrow.

most likely, if the exhibition does not end after my students' mid year exams, most likely i will go.

haaha..

alright..!! tomorrow (thursday) can get to meet up ZJ they all - the S5 ladies..! ahhaha..and yeah...can see Cookie..!!!

Long time din see him and long time din play wif him...!! wonder how he's been...hahhahaa..!!

i'm feeling better..

feeling better le..

thanks people..especially thanks to QZ...hee... ^^

but ya, tink i am not quitting la. =p

but definitely, i must take this mistake as a lesson..though actually thinking back, i still feel very angry with myself.

feeling better, also due to the fact that i went to watch the "Forrest Gump" movie. dun know why, at that moment, it makes me feel slightly better.

thank u... =)

alright, gonna go sleep le..working again tomorrow..

sigh...

really need to sleep more now, my brain juice seems to be having some traffic jam up there. can't really produce excellent work results recently.

sigh.

sigh.

yes.

Just laugh at me..
just mock me..
and shake your head..

maybe
or in fact
i am just not good at it.

think i just dun touch first aid anymore.

i am just not good at it.
Such a simple thing can even do wrong.

and ya, as what my friend told me,
it's like a clown la...

think i just focus on my studies and stop thinking of wanting to go back to perform first aid duties.

realised i made a bad mistake of telling everyone here.
cos this mistake will only bring disadvantage and dirt to my reputation.

i should really stop touching first aid, and let others on the street do the job.

My parents are right.
Don't touch first aid anymore.

hhaa..i think i really have a beauty consultant, and probably another fashion consultant.

talking to my this fren over msn just now.

and he again...

asking me to try wear this, wear that...

this time, he asked me to try wearing a skirt for casual outing.

he kept trying to convince me that i will look nice with skirt.

but whaha..u know me.

i "rebutte" every word he said.

cos i dun tink i look nice in skirt..! n i am really not confident..dun tink they look nice la...yet my this fren kept persuading me to wear..

but can see he's trying real hard to persuade me..and i really appreciate that he seems to be trying to boost my self-esteem.

but then again, tink my opinions for my own self-esteem are higher than his every persuasion.

will wear skirt la, but only for work purpose or special occasion. for casual outing, na.....
i do have a long skirt, but still finding the big courage to wear it out.....

maybe partly cos he only saw me when we were in year one, i feel that he din know me well enough.. =p so the more i feel i should not be convinced by him.. =p

dun know la...

but i just dun understand why people are so visual...
well, of course, i'm saying myself too.

but well, this is the reality.

that's why u will see so many people nicely dressed, especially the ladies.

for wat purpose? i believe the reason is obvious.

i feel stupid. (-_-)

stupid am i.


the STUPIDEST mistake i can ever make as a first aider.


was on my way to my student's house, travelling in a crowded train.


found a seat, and stole a little nap.


but it was interrupted by a fainting case.


she was brought to a seat, and i did the necessary treatment.


Asked her to lower her head to her knees, it's simply impossible to ask her to lie on a mrt floor.


so decided to take her pulse, to double confirm my suspicion.



and there stupid am i.


dun know why at that moment,


dun know it is cos i just woke up, and still felt a little blur,


dun know it is cos i was kinda nervous, it's pretty sudden.





i took pulse on the worng side of the wrist, where i could not feel any pulse at all.


it was only after when her bro n i had brought her out to a station platform, i took the pulse again, this time on the correct side of the wrist and only then i realised my mistake.


AH..!!


for all things, i made such stupid stupor mistake..!! this is a mistake which should not be made by any medical or first aid personnel..!!! ARGH...!!!


all of things...of all things....


i did remember to ask her brother about her medical history...when she had her last meal...





but





BUT....





(T_T)





i could make such stupidest mistake..!!


but of course, she felt better, and she was brought to the station's staff lounge to take a rest, and took some decent stuff to eat (she din really had her lunch, in contrast to from what i have gathered info. and it was only when i asked her personally, i realised she had sort of lied to her brother)


one of the staff even asked me whether i was a nursing officer. whaha..even if i were one, i will not tell him, cos i dun dare, and i made such stupid mistake..how can i have such face? but lucky thing, this staff din see what i had done in the train...


got very mad with myself throughout the whole trip later, that i sort of mumbled to myself a little, and made some minute gestures which expressed my hidden frustration..


was really very mad about myself.


but definitely had learnt my mistake in a hard way, and definitely in the future, i definitely not make such mistake.


but definitely this is not something which a first aid or medical personnel can make for a mistake.


ARG...!%&$&^#(@7$(9&@5%!#&%()!*9778%!&3610!8@%#$&*)(*_(*^&$#%$@...!!!


very angry with myself..!!

raining today.. wahaha..so din go for the dragonboat training.. =p

hahah..went with my colleague, J, and one of my supervisors to my company's recreational centre.

to play pool.

whhaa..

realised that everything which dennis taught me is just like what my supervisor taught J.

played quite a bit today.

rarely play pool, cos of the environment in the public pool house. then again, i only went there when he used to bring me there.
so count the number of times i play pool with a single hand.

din play very well. aiming was bad. well, anyway i hardly play.

dun tink i wanna play more.
dun know why.
i just feel the pressure to play pool.
i just dun feel comfortable.

this time, it's not a noisy pool house..hmmm..wait, it's quite noisy cos of J's laughters and her voice. =p
it's a small room, with only 2 pool tables n 2 snooker tables.
yet i feel the discomfort and tension.

Na..tink i better not touch pool anymore...

till now, i could still feel the tension and discomfort.

my bro's back fr cambodia...!! =D

glad to see him back from his TP's cambodia community service..went there to set up a satelite system for an orphanage managed by a singaporean.

he seems not to enjoy as much as i did in vietnam..whaha..probably due to the short time there. hahaa..

surprisingly, not that much interesting incidents as i had in ha tay.

but one thing for sure, they also have problems with the flushing system. whahaha..toilet's choked too..whaha..

but they din do anything to solve the flushing system, unlike us, where we actually had a rescue team lead by our founder C. whhahahaa...

and of course, they dun have a person who dropped a metal spoon into the toilet bowl, and ended up picking it up personally, with so many people watching.. (-_-)

whaha..my bro's bought a bag from cambodia..!! with a traditional feel.. (^^) so happy..! haha..i always love such bag design - local traditional feel..hee..

but no food bought from cambodia, he told me that nothing much special...

so sad.. =(

hahaha..anyway glad my bro is back...next to come back singapore will be my buddy..whaha..wonder how he feels about vietnam..

next to leave singapore will be zj...she's flying off to france, PARIS..!! ah..! my dream place to visit...but will be missing her... (T_T) definitely will be asking her a lot of questions relating to paris after she comes back.. =p

anyway my fever's gone down le..thanks ppl for your concerns..Ok, special thanks to dennis, HM, DLY, AS (dun tink he read my blog), renny..haha..hMm..i din miss anyone rite? haha..alright, thanks for ur concern..!! =)

friday's my favourite day..! =D
going for dragon-boat training which takes place in bedok reservoir..! haha..wonder how it feels like..hahaa..juz try for fun, and also since it so super near to my house, ahah, can go home straight fast..rest for a while, before i go for my tuition work..

whahaa..

hope friday's a good day for me..!!

at least please make me finish my design layout proposal..and hope can fulfil my boss's requirements. the proposal will be nothing special, with nothing funny, but due to the restriction of allocated space, that's the challenging portion. and also predicting the psycholohical thinking of my boss and the targetted visitors.

i only worry whether i can get it right this time. This is the second chance.

and i've been utterly distracted. n of course, due to my recent health condition, my proposal's been delayed.

please let me finish the proposal tmr..!!

wednesday fever

38.2 deg cel..

slight fever..

sian...

took panadol tablets in the office, and my work performance today is wholly rock-bottom. my back's aching and my throat is hurting me.

plain water tastes horrible today.

din eat during lunch time. totally fatigue. i ate sleep for lunch.

Even during the meeting with a school operation manager, totally fatigue.

and right now, i can't get to rest early. Need to help my bro with his mid-year exams. his progress is utterly slow and terrible. sec 1 now, still needs my help. and still needs to be pushed.

sigh.

Still having fever and yet i can't go rest early.

sian sian sian.

SO HAPPY..!! (^^)

YES..!! PEOPLE..!!

I HAVE BOUGHT THE TICKET TO "The Phantom of the Opera"...!!!

hahaa..spent happily and excitedly a total of 147 bucks (including the $2 GSt, i think) for the CAT 1 ticket..!!

Will be sitting on the 3rd row of the front section.
IN Front of the STAGe..
and
In the MIDDLE of the STAGE...!!!

OH MY GOODNESS..!! wWHHAHAHAHAHAA....!!!

I feel so so lucky...!!!
Can see the actors and the actoresses a little close up...!
Can see the costumes close up..!!! (I watched TV, saying that the costumes cost atomic bombs..)

WHAHHAHAA..!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH..!! me SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY..!!

kinda ex, but
dun know
i dun feel the ache at all.
nope, not at all.

and yup, will be watching the musical alone.

first time, will be watching such stuff alone.

but most probably, will be doing this more often in the future.
watching movie alone..
watching this n that alone...

hmm..me dun have the habit of jio-ing ppl, especially guys.
so yup, oh well, i juz need to get used to such life.

at least i dun have to lie to my mum of whom i am going out with alone.

n oh yA..!! remember i was given an assignment to think of a word to replace the existing one which is used in a water conservation programme? hahaha..my department's boss has accepted one of my ideas..!! n juz realised today that they have used this word in a presentation to some important people out there..hahaha..!! yeah yeah yeah..!! me very happy...!! ^^

but this time, my this assignment, the one which i propose to integrate interactive art into water conservation, my this proposal ,is not tat smooth-sailing. mine has been rejected. =(
but well, i'm prepared to accept this rejection. at least i know more what my boss wants.
haha..n i'm fully prepared to do one more time..!!

i have done it once, i dun believe i can't do it this time.

=p

YES..!! I HAVE DECIDED..!!

HAHAA..alright..i have decided..

I decided not to tell my parents about it. First. They sure oppose to it, will say waste money.. =p
And I am going to buy "The Phantom of the Opera" ticket tomorrow (Tuesday)..!!
And going to get the CAT 1 standard seat, and will ask for excellent seat.

A bit ex, but hmm..i've been dreaming to watch the musical since secondary two when i was introduced about this musical by my italian music teacher.

haha..well, i will take it as my early 22nd birthday present..!!

n ya, currently, will be going there to watch alone. =p

anyway i can't wait to go book the ticket..!!
Alright, will update u all tmr..

OH...!! OH..!! Please please grant my wish..!!!

exams are around the corner..!!

ARG...!!

me going to be real busy..!!!!

buzz buzz buzz buzzy like a beez..

when rest comes, i see stars.
it's a path which i have chosen, n i have to move on till i reach to a junction.

till now, i still kinda miss first aid duties...miss doing duties with my zone 3 ppl...
but...
sigh...

anyway me joining my company to participate in inter-department dragonboat competition. haha..well, the training is at my house's reservoir..so, hahaha..can walk home straight after every training session..haha..

but sian, last fri din get to go for the training, otherwise i might see SO, QZ they all...

decided to ask my parents about watching the musical "the phantom of the opera"...i feel the great urge of watching it...
hope everything goes well for me.

Been exercising more frequently this week.

hhaa..i can't take it anymore.

i feel fat.

eat and eat and eat.
sit and sit and sit.

aiyo.

haha..yeah..tomorrow's playing badminton with my colleagues..!! yeah yeah..!!
this time, my colleague's joining in..haha..

my work progress is slowing down.

that is not a good sight.

i am not working efficiently.
not at my tip-top performance.
totally distracted.

ARGH!

Now, given another assignment. but not very confident whether my this idea will be accepted. intending to integrate interactive art into water conservation.

probably u'll give such response.
"huh? how could these two link together?"

Ya, i wann link these two together.
but this is not really the difficult portion.

the difficult portion is how to persuade my supervisor to accept such idea.

what i worry is i am too ambitious, and may try too hard.
sigh, anyway i juz need to tink of plan B or maybe even plan C. in case my big ambitious plan doesn't go through.

anyway most probably going to get my hair permed again.
tis time, i am going storm. they got this 50% discount off. haha..
going to bet on this salon. furthermore, talked to the branch salon director today. he's offering his service.
OK, i will give a try.

hopefully this time, my hair is really permed. and nicely cut.

I am going to lay my happiness onto this salon director's hands le.
whether i will find my happiness, may depend on him.

whahhahaaa..!!! =p

We will not admit defeat...!!!

Will not admit defeat.

And never try to under-estimate a xiao mei mei-look-alike like me...

And never try to under-estimate a NTU undergrad.

I was told that during a job interview, there's differences between a nus grad and a ntu grad.

Apparently, was told that nus grad performs better than a ntu grad, during the interview.

reason being?
- more confident.
- more out-spoken.

aRgGggG..!!! we cannot lose like that...!!!!

well, kinda gotten me agitated..cos i feel this is almost totally embarrassing..already our standing has lost out...not including such area...!!!


BUT


Certainly

Such remark has fueled my fighting spirit.


Even higher.


Even stronger.


I make sure myself not losing out to nus ppl.
I make sure that i can perform as well as them, or even better than them.


I am not out-spoken. but i will make sure once i perform, i make almost everyone's jaws drop, make them impressed with me...


WHHAHAHAHA...!!!!!!

I have done it once,

I have done it twice, thrice...

This time, I am going to have it done.

AGAIN.

omg...

oh my goodness.

i have a fashion consultant.

Now.

I have a beauty consultant.

and my consultant is a guy.. whaha..

hmm..he taught me how to DIY double eye lids over msn, which till now, i still dun know how to do... =p
n asked me to get a new pair of specs, those who are trendy trendy ones..haha..my fashion consultant also says so.. =p

goodness me... whhaa..

i wonder my this friend does read my this bloggy. find it a little suspicious when he tells me all these beauty tips...

hhaa..but i still not very willing to try the double eye lids thingy..feel like torturing myself.
if exercise, i can still take it, n i willing to do so...

but DIY double eye lids....hmmmmm.....
let me tink about it..

in fact, i kinda scare of putting on make-up, even simple ones. dun really like things stick to my face..
but if by then i still can't get attached, think i have to really bend down totally to reality, and juz put on some simple make-up....

anyway talked with my this beauty consultant about some thingy..
talking about some happenings in the spore indoor stadium...
for a while, i really can't believe what had happened..me very sceptical about it..
i am more influenced by catholic teaching, but what had happened there was a total sceptism to me...

Seasons.

******************The Season of Fatigue******************

Totally fatigue.

Especially today.

Head been kinda dizzy whenever i got up from my seat. dun know why too..
been feeling so dizzy that i needed to cancel off my last tuition work of today.

My time killed by sleep.
Have slept for almost 11 hours last night, and yet I still feel so fatigue.

Even shouted for quite a period of time during my last night's sleep, according to my dad.
In fact, i can't remember why i shouted and i din know that I actually shouted last night.

************The Season of Farewell***************

Friday's last day of work for one of my colleagues. She's an attachment poly student, and has been in my company for 2 months. It's been great to have her around in the office.

And probably we gave her a lots of gifts and surprises. she kinda cried at the end of the day. =p

************The Season of Overseas*****************

My bro's flying off for cambodia soon, for some overseas community service. hope he'll be safe and sound there....

And my buddy's flying off for vietnam..WHoooOo..
vietnam ho ching minh...
vietnam ho ching minh..!!!
ahhaa.. =p
OKi, hope he'll take care there.

and very soon, ZJ will be leaving for france.
kinda envied her cos she has the chance to go see this beautiful romantic country.

hhaa..but i will still work myself towards this dream - travel to france.
visit the museum of louvre to see Leonardo da Vinci's paintings.
visit the paris opera house, to experience its magificence.
ride a bicycle and cycle around the street of paris.
sit at any cafe, and juz watch the passers-by.
haha.. =p
with whom? currently i can't tink of anyone. but me and myself. =p

************The Season of Self****************

First time talked about my past relationship with my colleagues.

Since they asked, i definitely answered. feel there's nothing to hide and be ashamed of about my past relationship. even told them about some parts of my reasons for the break-up.

Till now, probably it's a right choice for me leaving him. Given his social status soon in the future, he deserves better ladies who dress better and look more mature than me, and at least could help him in his career. One thing for sure, in the future, he'll experience a transition of social status and expectations. People around him will not juz evaluate him, but also his loved ones, especially his gf or wife.

And at least for now, he's performing well in school.

Told to be a motivational speaker in his class. and his tutors were impressed with his performance. Whahaha..

hhaa..

ok la, me glad for him, at least he's doing well.

******************The Season of EAT****************

Been eating a lot.

Almost everytime when i reached office, my stomach will start roll its drum.

Feel like a pig la...

most likely i will start going to gym to train up le..i cannot take it liao..starting to feel fat..argg... (T_T)

later's meeting DLY, YS, YJ and V for steamboat..something to look forward to..hahhaa..

What a seasonS....

(-_-) kena caught..

ARGGG...!!!!!!!!

for dozing off at work...tink caught by Mr L...ARRGGGG...!!!!

AHHHHH...!!!!

He din say anything..but i believe that he saw me dozing off.cos my head's knocking off to one side quite badly...!!!!!

ARGGGG...!!!

My image.....is gone....!!!! NOOooOOOOOoooOOo...

Me got very pissed with myself...sigh....sIAN AH...............................!!!!!!!

I feel like crying the whole day la..

of all things, got caught... (T_T)

for SLEEPING...!!

(T_T)

sian...

anyway me met up with Jac yesterday, to attend a briefing on a food survey..

ahaha..and we came up with some suggestions for our S5 ladies to prepare...

for both of our birthdays..

hhaha...

So, we are thinking to have an early birthdat celebrations, before ZJ left for france in june. hahhaa..it'll be so much more fun to have everyone to celebrate birthday..hee...

and Jac is wondering whether she could get her jigsaw puzzle for her birthday surprise present..hhaa.. =p

hmm..for me ah...juz dun get me any more soft toys le.. =p

can get me things more practical.. =p

hmm..tis year'll be celebrating birthday with no one special..wonder how it will feel like...but one good thing is, my birthday falls on weekend..haha..so not intending to teach the whole day. most probably sleep and slack at home ba...hahaa.. =p still have not planned yet..hahhaa..anyway it's quite early to do any planning..hahaha.. =p

dun know why, been tinking about something..

i dun tink many guys will consider me to be in relationship..hahaha.. =p

cos i look too young.
tink no matter how i try to dress up to be more mature, i will still have that element of kiddish look. will only make the guy feel embarassed to walk besides me...

please dun tell me that character/personality is more important..

Looks and image are primary social factors.

Secondary, characters/personalities.

AiYa..let's not discuss further..this will juz go on and on...

hahhaa.. =p

Oh ya..!! hahaa..Jac commented that i dress better now..compared to my old dress style. hahaa..me happy happy,cos first time she complimented me on my dress sense.. hahaa..and of course, she added that there is still room for improvement..haha..

definitely definitely.. hee...

sleepy day..slacky day..fishy day..under the same Monday sky..

Dear Sleepy Day,

i can't believe i sleep again.

slept for almost 8 hours and yet i can doze off while standing in the train, on my way to work..!!

Have you sprinkled some sleeping powder onto me, early in the morning? hope you dun do that in the future.

you are making me feel like a pig.

Ah..!! unless you are really bored that you decide to victimise me with your magical sleeping power.

Alright, i can understand you could be bored, that today's monday and everyone is so awake and excited to go for work.

Alright, i will like to book an appointment with you, hee..oki?

hmm..let me check my planner. alright, let's set it on friday, alright? haha..remember to bring Rainy Day along too, alright?

Cya soon..

Regards,
Man Sze

*******************+++++++++++++*************************

Dear Slacky Day,

hhaa..!! there you have found me..!! haha..

we've been playing hide and seek for these few days, and now then you find me.

WOLS...!!

hahaa..and ya, you find me on the wrong day, when i am supposed to be working hard and fast.

But well, nevertheless, i've managed to escape from your eyes.
Again..!!

yeah..!!

hey hey, try find me again..!!

hahaa..

and try figuring out where i write this letter to you..

whaha..no clues... =p

Happy finding..!!

Regards,
Man Sze

##############^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^######################

Dear Fishy Day,

Yes, I managed to sell a few fish to one of my customers, C (she's one of my students).

Quite of a good business. She's willing to buy more fishes from me today.

And of course, I am sorry to tell you.

Yes, I have given her some discounts.

So, she's more willing to buy more from me today.

I know I should not do that.
But as you know, we are in the same line.
Business is hard to do.

Without any discount, it's very difficult to do business. Especially for such a customer.
But of course, she's a reasonable customer and she's very willing to negotiate with me.
Had a real fun negotiation though.

hahaa..fun to negotiate, but not easy to make a 100% successful deal.

Alright, shall stop writing. Shall help you sell fish next monday, oki?

Happy fishing..!!

P.S. remember to help me get the best fishes you can ever fish. Thanka million..!!

Regards,
Man Sze

############****************************######################

goodness me, what a day!

Need to write to so many days today.

Alright, JIAYOU everyone..!! for YOur eXams..!!
Me praying hard for you all out there, the exam-takers..!!

JIAYOU...!!! =D

haha..went out with SO today..n the time passed really fast..i din buy anything but at least i know there are some offers. =) nice nice..will go back suntec one of the days...wahaha...

went to shaw tower's starbuck. it's been a long time since i went there. my last time there was when i was in junior college. went to ask SO n DT for help in my biology. haha..DT helped me with human biology while SO helped me with biotech. hahaa...real appreciated their help a lot, they are really helpful. n i met dr su dehui there, n he helped me more with human bio. though he only taught me once, i have learnt something from him - how to understand some concepts using analogy. haha..n i'm using such concept to teach my students now, n it really works well. my students understand concepts better. hahhaa..!!

had healthy discussions over in starbuck. long time din talk like this le..haha..cos at least i feel there's a balanced exchanges of opinions. tink i can converse better in chinese ba..haha..anyway at least i feel i'm talking some sensical stuff, and not joking n laughing. haha..me a human afterall, i need some seriousness in conversations. =p

haha..but ya la, SO is right about me. i will want to get married one day. hahaha..Ya, no matter wat, i still want to get married. wahaha.. =p
it's juz a matter of time, and whether my mum will let me go know more guys.
whahaa..

had a good rest today, at least i dun have to work..!! yeahh..!!! happy happy happy me..!!

hahahhaa...

but tomorrow's got to teach again. i know i will be happy cos it's my payday..!!!!!

whahaha...!! can start buying some clothes and shoes..hahha..

talked over msn with dly juz now. haha..asking me whether i have ever imagined myself wat i will be doing in the next ten years.

definitely have imagined.
and if everything goes smooth for me, i can really imagine even more vividly.
hhaa..but dun wanna say it here.
my dreams are a bit too big....
n a little bit too ideal...

wahhahahaa...!!!

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY..!!! (^^)

WhoooOO..been so busy sia..

Yup yup..been super busy these few days..

OKi, let's talk about monday..

and as usual, my student, C, was doing some bargaining trade with me.
A market place.
i'm the veggie seller.
C's one of the market aunties.
bargaining prices with me.
arGg...
somemore this seller needs to sayang the auntie...
whahaa.. =p

but really, i'm like a trade negiotator with my this student. Need to negiotate for a win-win situation..whahaa...

Okiiiiii, it's TUEsDay..!!

hmm..went for a site visit to school, a primary sch in bukit panjang...
n i can't believe that pri sch boys (besides pri 5 n 6) are so daring...they are so not shy...hahaha..

basically doing some water survey in a boys' toilet. our session in the toilet clashed with the school's recess time. so u see, this toilet is the nearest one to the canteen.

so boys started coming to use the urinals.
and well, i was there standing in the toilets.
and they were not shy at all.....
and many of them din wash their hands after using the urinals..!!! ARgGGg..!!

hahaa..but lucky thing was that, the urinals' section was partitioned by a tall and huge wall, so from where i was standing, i could not see anything.

but i feel so utterly embarrassed.

WEdNesdaY..!!!

WEnt to another school's site visit. this time's acs barker road.

felt so embarrassed walking around in a guys' school. so many guys...

but the school's very well-decorated. it's like entering a country club.

then went to help tend to my company's exhibition booth. (T_T) it's very boring tending the booth...but i was glad that my colleague, J, came to visit me and accompany me till the exhibition ended. so sweet of her... (^^)

Thursday....TODAy..!!!

WEnt for another school visit. hahaa..this time to my bro's school..!! n this time, my colleague, J, came along too..!! (^^)

hahaa...and got a mini treat there..love the chicken wings..!! YUmm YuMm..

hahaa..my colleagues even joked to sell them to the office, and earned some profits..!! cos this finger food tasted real good..!! hahahaa.. =p

hhaha..first time, one of my colleagues asked me for my blog..whahaha..!!

went to teach tuition in the evening..by the time when i reached my student's house, i was utterly exhausted. but funny thing is, once i started teaching, i regained energy..hahaha..

but got a bit pissed off with a bus driver on my way home. he juz drove past me, without letting me board it. there was still some spaces, n he juz drove past me.

got very impatient and pissed.

already very late at night, and the stupid bus driver ignored me.

and me was so super hungry (din have any food since 1300).

hahaha..

anyway, yeah..!!! tmr's Good Friday..!!

finally can slack...yeah yeah..!!

no tuition work, no anything..!!

so wanna go out tmr, with myself.

fine with going out alone.

u see, i've returned to my life as a loner. back to my junior college life before i was attached to dennis.

so, am i happier now?

hmm..i am happier now, definitely. cos the person has left, n i can feel my life to have resumed its serenity.

Anyway happy Good Friday to all of you..!! =D

so tired...!!!!

super tired....

although only one tuition work, it's enough to tire me out.
travelling to NTU is tiring...

i still need to teach 3 students tomorrow...one after another..can't even have a proper lunch..
but think it's alright, can lose weight...whahaha..!! =p

this year's my hometown HK's tenth anniversary celebration. sigh, dun think i am going back...