A pretty bad day in office..

Missed a meeting in the morning...followed by a colleague from another section who initially rejected my request for assistance in the project..got so worried, stressed up and panicked that I could not control myself but to cry..went to toilet, hid myself in a cubicle and started crying out..been very stressed out by the project for the past few weeks..and was very disappointed with myself and yet i could not tell my boss..cos i dun want to disappoint her again, and in case she started to doubt my capability and not give any important responsibility to handle..

ended up my colleagues, CT and JN saw my very flashed face..and started prompting me..but ok la..at least after saying out, i felt better..

lucky thing, my colleague from that another section had helped me after i msged and begged him over the sms to help me with it...

now i know how my boss was trained to be thick-skinned...when she was a new engineer in the company, she used to be in that section...

sigh and phew...

So tired........ @_@

gosh...tomorrow still has clinical attachment..arg...i've not read through any yet..!!! arg...stress.... =p

glad to meet AG just now after my lesson..hee...felt more energetic than during the lesson..was so fatigue that i dozed off every now and then during the lesson..

now i'm feeling tired again..gonna go sleep soon...

get kinda worried for my 2nd bro..he's not doing well in his studies..and i dun have the time to coach him..and yet he's such low motivation and he is still very childish and naive in his thoughts,etc..still not aware of the importance of studies and qualifications in this world..still din fully understand the impact which can be made on him and onto his parents..i blame tat for his school environment..to me, it's all in your mind....no one can influence anyone, except himself.

work work work...monday's a relatively smooth work day for me, to my surprise. but dun know what's about tomorrow..a lot of things awaiting for me to complete before i can go for my exam leave...feel like taking one-day off next month, and have a good break...i feel very burnt out...

came across this singer Zee Avi over a radio station. she's very good jazzy voice for her age - same age as me..haha..

dun believe? hee..you may want to listen to this song "Just you and me"

Another lovely outing with AG after lessons with my 2 students..

A walk in ikea, artfriend, liang court, east coast park...and carpool..haha..kinda chases all my work frustration away... =)

it's nice feeling to have him around.. =)

====================================================

Work hasn't been going smooth for me again...starting to get bomb attacks from colleagues of another section..i feel pretty bad, but i need to force myself, be thick-skinned to approach them..it's like sending myself to a minefield, though i know it is..

oh well, wat to do...it's work..i really hope tomorrow'll be a good start... =s

sigh.

====================================================

woo! next week's last lessons with my 2 students! woo! can't wait..! can focus more on my studies! =D

A nice after-dinner walk with AG at the reservoir just now..he came over to meet me after my dinner with my family..hee..

what makes me amazing that he listens to my narration, though i wonder whether he can understand what i'm trying to describe (i'm not a good story-teller)..but well, it feel good that he seems to be listening and making some responses to it..hahaha..

the reservoir has transformed into a really welcoming and beautiful place to hang out there..now there's a floating platform where people can fish and hang out there..and over there i told AG about my self-reputation of labelling myself the fishing goddness of liberty..till now, i still feel proud of giving myself the title.. =p hahaha..

love the walk today.. it's a lovely and enjoyable walk.. =)

******************************************************************

Love this song by Michael Buble..! The mtv is very cute and the actoress looks sweet and pretty...hahaha..and it makes me have an idea on some venue for my future wedding shots - yes, supermarket! i love this kind of subtle romance brought into the reality..but anyway i'm not getting married soon..juz to avoid all you readers' imagination and anticipation..haa..



*****************************************************************

And oh, one more song! Colbie Calliat's "Falling for You"..very funny mtv and love the lyrics..

Almost thought i'm going to die..

my boss din scold me...thank goodness.. phew....but she gave me a few guidance points on the project..basically she sees that I have weakness in the project co-ordination and management of colleagues from other sections..at least she's frank with me, in a positive and gentle way..so she din scold me, put the full blame on me...phew...

and first time she complimented about my strength..pretty touched although i kinda know that it's part of communication skills - praise first, then point out the weakness..hee..

upon self-reflection, my boss is frank with me, so i know which are the areas i need to strengthen and improve..

****************************************************************

had lunch with AG today..enjoy his company..but dun know why, felt a little distant today..dun know whether it was cos of the stuff which i saw and tried to clarify with him..it's just that i felt left in the dark and insecure...i could feel i'm trying hard to communicate with him but there seems to be a wall blocking me and a catapult on top of the wall which will try to hit me..

I really hope he'll clarify and communicate patiently with me...

****************************************************************

kinda worried for AG at the same time..he's not feeling well and i kinda fear a lot of stuff, especially when i'm studying pathology module and am aware of the causes to many illnesses...

i really hope he's willing to change his lifestyle habit, not for me but for the better of his health..

************************************************************

Exams are around the corner..and i'm starting to get very stressed up again...

Sigh.

I think I'm dead meat.

Work's utterly horrible today. =(

in a terrible mood...

Arg..a lot of negative thoughts are hurling in my mind right now..

got a bit taken aback with what AG remarked his statement about marriage..i really hope it's not going to be like the previous one..but well, AG put the topic aside and not let the discussion to go on..so kinda left me in quite a "in the air"..

i dun know...now i'm feeling very insecure, and to a certain level, unassured...i no need any promise, but probably an assurance in the statement..

but right now, i just try to keep telling myself that i must leave the best moments and memories to the one who is willing to share and commit to the life with me, then i will give my full commitment to this one who really walks the rest of his life with me..

what's amusing was that a few days ago, an uni friend told me that i was a "wife material" (ah..dun vomit ah..) and told me not to doubt myself about it...but i dun know why...i keep feeling very lousy about myself right now...i keep asking myself right now, "if i were really a wife material, then why it seems that i tend to be stuck in such a situation?"

now i am really doubting myself.

I seriously doubt my potential in what I'm doing right now..after receiving the sms just now, i can't help but frowned and started my little cow tantrum. ended up tearing a little..cos i really dun wanna do this...i feel very forced/unmotivated and angry..

probably pissed off with myself..but also pissed with myself being sandwiched...probably it's my personalities or the environment which i am brought up..

There is this voice within me, which seems to be telling me this "hey, do something which you have seen yourself achieving something..", "get out of this - you are just biting your teeth through it..you are not enjoying what you are doing right now. That's not you".."you keep making mistakes..you are not naturally motivated..you are forcing yourself to be motivated.."

i dun know...i can feel myself seriously underperforming...i can feel myself very unmotivated..i can feel myself really bad at what i'm doing...this is a really horrible feeling cos it's pulling my self-esteem down...

on the other hand, i can picture myself enjoying teaching the sec sch students, marking papers, preparing homework, improving myself on the modules so that i can be better than the students..even if there will be many admin work for me to do and listening to the nagging of the principal or HOD...

i'm seriously very tired...i can feel myself being not myself at work..
but i'm really worried whether being a teacher will be a lower job status than being an engineer..i'm worried that AG's family will look down on me cos of the status switch..though i feel and know that the pay for teaching now is a lot better than the older times..

i'm paranoid.... =(

Work yesterday was not a smooth one..as a result, i was very distracted during the dinner with AG and his parents..

=(

sigh. sian.

==============================================================

hhaa..been loving these 2 songs, especially whitney houston's "million dollar bill"..the song makes me dance..

speaking of dance..i wanna sign up for salsa dance in dec..dancing cheers me up..haa.. =p i tink i'm stopping the dance course which i've taken previously..tat dance is starting to cost me more money..





Whitney Houston's latest album is out! love these songs..all dedicated to God..

"I Look to You"


"I didn't know my own strength"

finally my 2nd round of clinical attachment is over! attached to this teacher can be challenging..hee..

been having good food these 2 days..!! yesterday and today! hee...i'm like a pig..and now i can feel myself already put on some weight..gonna jog tmr!

i'm so tired now....need time and energy to study... (T___T)

oh ya! my student passed his prelim O level A maths! haha ..quite happy for him cos he mentioned that the papers were pretty hard, and worried that he might not pass..

Seems that patience and not being panicky over short-term results work for me...but then again, it also depends on whether the student wants to help himself or not...

Watched this television movie "Coco Chanel"..only realise that this is totally different from "Coco before Chanel" movie..but i tink this one is better than "Coco before Chanel"..all the characters are better-looking..hahaa..

not that i love the brand..love this film..but that doesn't mean i like the brand.. =p


Love this photo the most..so sweet...haha...

===============================================================

Din go for my lesson..i'm very tired and bored of attending Saturdays' module..but somehow i can't focus on my revision now...i dun know why.. =(

===============================================================

yeah! good food tomorrow! can't wait! can't wait!! =D

===============================================================

somehow work nowadays seems to be going less tough on me..think maybe cos that my boss seems to have given me more freedom to manage the project, though she wil still remind me of the few deadlines i need to meet..hee..but i'm happy with the level of freedom and control right now..at least i feel i can manage within my control..though there are inevitable times when i can't meet the deadline.. =p

===============================================================

felt the earthquake tremour in my office on wednesday (tink it's a wed), when i was still working in office before going to gym for a quick jog..

somehow i'm not worried at all, about whether the building will collapse or not..somehow i have the confidence that our local civil engineers will do a good job into factoring a safe level of earthquake-resistivity into the building construction..

===============================================================

i can't focus on my studies now!! how come?!!!

===============================================================

kinda miss AG now...keep feeling that i've not spent enough time with him, but yet on another hand, i need time to study...but then again, i can't focus on my studies now.. (T____T)

===============================================================

Seems that the whole department knows that i'm studying tcm now..an poly student intern was asking me about tcm and its course-related topics..

but i guess it may be good for everyone to know my part-time studies now..cos it will act as a positive pressure upon me that i must press on..

===============================================================

read about the news on NUS-Duke graduate medical course recently...at that instant, and even now, i can feel the heartache within me that i din do well for my "A" levels to get myself into the medical school...and when i read about the sentence in the news saying that these intake have first class degree in their science-related course, i realise that there is no point trying to get into this school..they will not accept me, despite of the passion and persistence i have for this profession..

i know i still have tcm..but i still want to do more than knowing tcm..i wanna know both - western and chinese, so that i have the upper edge to help, to do what i want in the future..

however, this is just a pipe dream..so i can forget it..

i just focus on my tcm, study hard, so that i can help within my capabilities. Maybe in the future when i graduate well from this course, probably i can give a try to get into the school..

=============================================================

Waiting for AG now to have lunch together near my morning office base later.. hee..happy to meet him for lunch though i've realised that i've put on weight (again! T___T ).

Love this short film.. It's one of the 2009 Cannes Lions winners.



haa..oki, jus nice, AG called.

oki, cya! =D

Went to bring my own family for my mum's birthday celebration on Monday to Black Angus Steakhouse restaurant..

as usual, food is always good..treated all of them a set of prime steak and the Wild West Onion..! all of us got really full and my parents were very pleased with the food served... hee..

then a family outing to walk around Ion Orchard..and i bought myself a blouse! so happy! hee..shall wear it to show AG ...whhaa...

*************************************************************

Tuesday was a good day.

My company's Vertical Challenge for the President's Challenge Charity, to climb up the 25-stories of our office building.

I was asked/pulled in by Jas and my boss to join in the women relay category to form a team of 4. And we were to compete against other relay teams from our sister agency and the big "brother".

And guess what?

haha..my team clinched champion!

initially we thought we can't get any as the host did not announce any of our team name for the 2nd and 1st runner-up titles. When we heard about the championship title, we got quite a big surprise and screamed...hahaa..

but then again, my boss and my another colleague who was my NTU ENE junior were very good runners, so hhee..i've to say one big credit is to them.. =p

hee..can't believe i have a championship trophy (each of us had a trophy each)..

so happy... =D

***********************************************************

Wednesday wasn't a very good one though dinner with AG was an enjoyable one.

Left my phone in AG's car. My personal and office laptops were both broken down on the same day.

Thank goodness, I've gotten my phone and both my laptops repaired today.
phew.

***********************************************************

Went to Johor with my colleagues for some excursion thingy a few weeks ago...my first time been to Johor, though my parents told me that I've been there when I was young..but well, that's not a very clear memory..

took some pictures, using AG's camera..had fun and also difficulty in playing with the manual mode..hee..make me more decisive in getting dslr camera..but dun think i've taken good photos with it..

****************************************************************

Met up with ZJ they all for a dessert treat! haha..a good treat by Jac, who finally gets what she's been waiting for pretty long time! CONGRATS! =D

****************************************************************

Din get to teach tuition in the morning, woke up and had to tell my student that I need to postpone to tomorrow's morning..

Think I seriously need to minus one student..or maybe minus to zero..can get really tiring and I wanna have more time to tone up my body...

****************************************************************

Been a busy day for me...

It's my first time to attend a wake - my big boss' mother had passed away and I followed my colleagues to attend it. First time when I saw my big boss in shorts and sandals..and i can't help looking at his toes to see if he has any clean toes.. =p i dun know why..think i'm so curious..

but the wake's atmosphere din seem to feel depressing..and i felt very heavy-hearted for the family..and i started to wonder what if my grandparents passed away one day..will i cry over spilled milk? will i be travelling back hk feeling horribly upset and return back sg feeling numb..?

my colleague drove past tjc on our way to the wake and back to the office..things seem to have changed a little from the external..students are still wearing that typical green tj uniform...and i saw the place when i used to have the wushu training there...how i cried a lot during those 2 yrs, due to stress..a lot of memories just came sweeping across my mind..

clinical attachment to a new teacher today..very very stressful..we were asked to point out the acupuncture points without her guidance and she kept calling me (cos I'm the group leader)..kept calling "组长" this.."组长" that..made me quite stressed up..hahaha..but at least this attachment motivated me to do my revision more intensively and thorough..

*******************************************************************

i think i'm really breaking down..i haven't had much rest...

hello..pepps...i'm backk....hmm..ok la..jus quickly scribble things quickly..

been super super busy....but lucky thing, my solution to my little problem seems to work well..i'm managing relatively well..

new job scope for me..2 new engineers have come to my division..and i'm managing a larger manpower team..very challenging..

and the very first challenging task is already assigned to me..but i know once i get past this challenge, it's no big deal later...i really can't bear to make that decision if really need to...not for this person, really...

anyway hmmm...i dun know what else to say..

gonna work later...morning to afternoon..followed by a class dialogue session with the sch dean...

gosh...i'm breaking down sooon...somemore monday's 2nd round of clinical attachment..gosh gosh gosh...

skipped the gathering at minds cafe on saturday..sigh..gonna rush through my assignment..

*************************************************************

bought myself a book "the purpose-driven life" by rick warren..

pretty an useful book to me..though the book has relatively strong christian language. but to me, i'm seeking for an answer...and i'm seeking for the right calling..

seriously right now, i'm very hesitant to take tat step out. i've 2 routes right now - one which i feel might have a high chance of fulfilling, while the other which i feel very hesitant yet yearning for it..

i dun know..i need to call up AG's ex colleague to allow me make a more decisive decision...

************************************************************

Went to watch "Up" with AG on Sunday evening..went to catch the 3D version..so cool..!!!

love this movie a lot..and i love watching this with AG..it has a very strong meaning behind the movie, and i love the way how they present the relationship of the old man and his wife..very sweet............

the big book of adventure..hmmm..i wanna make such a book too..hee..a book of adventure between AG and i... with all the photos...from now till old age......

Wooooowwww......

*oki, gonna wake up from my wonderland..*

**********************************************************

work's been tensing..boss's not in a very good mood, mainly cos of work..have to keep myself on toes.. =p

been silently doing self-reflection..about me habouring all sorts of other options..feel that i shouldn't have done it..cos it has totally affected my performance..

shall have a strategy to manage the project..i know i can be capable in adapting flexibly, and work under limited conditions..i've done this before and i know i can do it..!!!

*****************************************************************************

A new engineer came today, and i am assigned by my boss to be her buddy..haha..din get to guide her today..i was too busy handling the project..anyway she's one year younger than me but i realise that i look younger than her... gosh...

to be optimistic, it's good..cos i still look young..hee.. =p

*****************************************************************************

Got a sms from one of my tuition students. he told me that he has passed his A Maths "O" level prepartory exam and he's very relieved! haa..i was very happy for him, cos before i teach him, he always failed his exam papers (he always passed his tests well)..and this time, i managed to get him through! hee..i was very relieved too, cos this means that my teaching strategy for him is working well..then again, what's most important is the "O" lvl, and i need to get him into the right mentality. and of course, for myself, i'm more confident and able to give him a even clearer direction.

And as for my another student, i myself need to do revision on my e-maths..i realise i've kinda forgotten some..and this is not good for me and not productive for my students..basically i'm using my long-term memory to teach students..

but what is unique is that these students' parents never put pressure on me..dun know why too..however at least i can work better in guiding these students..

****************************************************************************

I chanced upon this christian book about finding your life purpose, while supposedly searching for another book which teaches me about how to get what i want.

read through a few pages of the book and found myself enlightened in a certain way..

i realise that for the past few weeks, i've started to ponder on myself and have been trying hard to find an answer to my question.

I wanna get this book.

And amazingly concidental was that that day was a Sunday. haaa..

Was God trying to tell me something? But what is He really trying to hint to me?

I really need to hit the church this Friday...i realise i've been so busy with work that i've completely forgotten to leave quiet time for myself to listen to myself..

***************************************************************************

love this speech given by one of the NTU graduates. i'm going to print this out and put this at my office desk, as a form of motivation.haha..

This is Adrian Tan's speech at the convocation of students at the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information (NTU).
Adrian Tan is a litigation partner at Drew & Napier LLC.


LIFE AND HOW TO SURVIVE IT


I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address.
It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation.
I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.


My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one.
She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living.
She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.


On the other hand, I am a litigator.
Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are.
I make my living being disagreeable.


Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home.
That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.


And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men:
when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.


Marriage is considered one milestone of life.
Some of you may already be married.
Some of you may never be married.
Some of you will be married.
Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.


The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning.


You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong process"
and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on.
You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers.
Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest?
They are in the business of learning, after all.
Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.


The good news is that they're wrong.


The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone.
That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties.
People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.


I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people.
But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.


You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy.
We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long.
We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless.
There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup.
Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.


Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years.
Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.


So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go.
Four decades in which to live long and prosper.


Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old.
Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation.
They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.


I'm here to tell you this.
Forget about your life expectancy.


After all, it's calculated based on an average.
And you never, ever want to expect being average.


Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family.
You are told that, as graduates,
you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.


That is what is expected of you.
And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.


If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people.
I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them.

And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.


What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it.
Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it.
Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment.
Your degree is a poor armour against fate.


Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies.
Just live. Your life is over as of today.
At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look.
This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.


What does this mean for you?
It is good that your life is over.


Since your life is over, you are free.
Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.


The most important is this: do not work.


Work is anything that you are compelled to do.
By its very nature, it is undesirable.


Work kills.
The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from overwork.
That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways.
If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left.
A rock has been ground into sand and dust.


There's a common misconception that work is necessary.
You will meet people working at miserable jobs.
They tell you they are "making a living". No, they're not.
They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.


People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free.
The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps.
Utter nonsense.


Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort.
You may never reach that end anyway.


Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play.
Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again.
You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often.
Soon, that will have value in itself.


I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator.
I enjoy it and I would do it for free.
If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction - probably a sports journalist.


So what should you do?
You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard.
By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do.
In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions.
By this time you should know what your obsessions are.
If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.


Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession.

Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm.
If you don't, you are working.


Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication.
To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth.
I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things.
The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth.
Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating.
There is also great skill.
Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences.
It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.


In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it.
That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.


I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth.
I now say this to you: be hated.


It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you?
Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many.
That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.


One does not have to be evil to be hated.
In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions.
It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions.
Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average.
That cannot be your role.
There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself.
Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.


The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.


I didn't say "be loved".
That requires too much compromise.
If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.


Rather, I exhort you to love another human being.
It may seem odd for me to tell you this.
You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false.

Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings.
It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise.
Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance.
It is hard work - the only kind of work that I find palatable.


Loving someone has great benefits.
There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness.
In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way.
We learn the truth worthlessness of material things.
We celebrate being human.
Loving is good for the soul.


Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person.
Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor.
It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming.
It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.


You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.


You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated.
You are not doing it to be loved back.
Its value is to inspire you.


Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone.
You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology.
It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.


Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.


You're going to have a busy life.
Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.

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A quick post before I head off to bed, and get myself ready for tomorrow's tuition lessons.

Had a lovely breakfast with AG on Saturday morning in Tanglin Tree. First learnt about the kind of breakfast AG loves. Hee..will wanna cook for him when I've the chance to do so..hee...

Also went to the Ion Orchard with AG for a quick walk around. And haha..i met AC and his gf! AC used to be my project mate for one of my elective modules - "The Art of Negotiation" (something like that)..he still looks the same..no change..haha.. =p

First time stepped into LV shop..LV is never my favourite designer brand, dun like the motif and the whole beauty it brings out..it just doesn't attract me..oh well, anyway walking into such shop makes me start to think and make guesses about what these consumers are thinkng..

Received the printout of my last academic year's overall results and class ranking..based on the normalisation calculated (as there are dropouts every semester), i think i've made improvements, but still a little disappointed..but it's very touching and encouraging to hear from AG when he told me that i've done great.

This semester's 4 exams papers - additional one more paper as this semester there are 4 modules to study..i think i know why i can get more stressed than before..gonna manage the project well, and also gonna manage 4 papers..basically my challenge level has gone up by one notch. Lucky thing i still have this blog to vent out my frustration and that during my jc and uni years i had pushed myself all the way up to the edge of my sanity. Guess the elasticity of my sanity has been successfully extended, to sustain me to handle this stage.

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Can't believe i've missed out Arthur Miller's play "The Crucible" presented by Singapore Repertory Theatre..! ARG...my heart aches...i've always been wanting to watch this play or any Miller's play! aRgg...

Oki, gonna on a lookout for my next highly anticipated play "the pillowman"..yes, i've watched it last yr and i still wanna watch this year..and i wanna bring AG along..hee..been recommending this play to AG repeatedly about how good the play is. ooh...i can't wait i can't wait!

and hopefully the play doesn't clash with my exam period.. =p

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