Hmm...kinda in a state of shock..till now..

i dun know how to cry it out...

probably too shocked tat it's faster than what i've expected...

probably it's not the time yet...

i thought i could see this period of time to upgrade myself to be a better lady...to read up more to increase my intelligence..to train up more on my figure...to master my cooking skills...and to pursue well in my tcm...

so tat i feel i've more confidence and in a better position to take good care of the person whom i love a lot.

but as for now..

probably i could help take care of his possible gf if she is sick n comes for me for tcm treatment...

and offer him some health advices so tat he can take good and better care of the girl in the future...

and the small first aid manual which i gave him may come in handy soon..so tat he can take good care if the girl is injured or sick...

D might be attached soon...

and i've told him almost everything which were the actual reasons to the breakup. kinda guilty cos i tink i kinda freaked him out a little...

frankly speaking, i din believe i finally spill out this truth which i've been crying badly and hiding for the past one yr plus...

crying badly cos it hurts me a lot...n i have to keep constantly telling myself tat it's for his good and he'll meet better ladies...

but i guess...it is faster than i might expect...

yes...i've given myself some sorta promise tat i'll wait for him to be attached first, if there's no patching up....

and yes, i'm glad tat i've sticked to my tis promise...but..ya..

as for now..i need to get myself mentally and emotionally prepared before he announces tat he's really attached...

cos the chance of patching-up is slim n tough....so hmmm..ya...

but at least i'm glad tat both of us will be still in close contact..and i really hope will...

probably like wat he said after knowing the truth..it's my biggest mistake to initiate the breakup.

i have to agree with him. it is my biggest mistake, but it's one whom i had taken into serious consideration to bear this mistake before the initiation of the breakup.

it's been a very painful process throughout the whole year..when i am constantly wearing a happy mask out everywhere i go, including in front of my family..

the girl seems to have a very nice personality which attracts D a lot..also, at least she's smarter than me..n i believe she's prettier and of a better figure than me...

so ya..

D, i give my sincere blessing to both of you...