Wednesday, 5th March:

Made no-bake oreo cheesecake for HM...

Wanted to give her a big surprise initially, but.....

KH let the cat out of the bag... (-__-)

hhaa..but HM gave me the feedback that the cake tasted pretty nice. LOL. =D

But making this cheesecake hasn't been easy. Can't find the particular brand's cream cheese and i ended up woking up early to travel almost the whole of Bedok, in search of this ingredient.

Decide to focus on making cheesecakes of different flavours. haha..cos think a number of my friends like to cheesecakes.. =p so in case if they make any request of wanting to try my home-made no-bake cheesecakes, then i can handle the requests more efficiently.

wahaha...sounded as if all my friends wanna try my cooking.. =p

But it does feel nice when the guys, especially HB and KH, keep asking to try my cheesecake..haha..at least i've some voluntary "guinea pigs"..whahahhahaha...!!

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Going to be even more busy these few days.

Gonna try my FYP draft. ARG..!

I've not even started on anything when it's going to be due by 19th march..!!!

ARG...stupid idiot me.....!! =(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HM..!!!!!!

There will be a BIG SURPRISE awaiting you tomorrow..!! =D

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hhaaa..FINALLY..!

The whole hoo-ha between the subject matter and me has finally finally come to a full-stop.

Yup, after talking to him about his hall play production, after finding out about his comments about the play, I even more confirm that he is not my cup of tea.

And

even KH is starting to believe my intuition about something which i've mentioned to him before.

Haa..see?

I am even more confident of my own intuition now.

And well, we'll see how things go. haha..i just keep quiet, not mentioning anything over here, and

"Let nature do its work." =)

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But at that instant, the knowledge of my intuitive instinct has seemed to me a little dangerous.

Often, I fear this knowledge.

But then again,
I treasure this knowledge.

Maybe this is God's gift for me?
A gift to guide me along?
To protect me along the path of my life?

"Trust the voice within"
- Christina Aguilera's "The Voice Within"

*********************************************

Met up with LA for lunch. Been great catching up with him again, though i've to rush for a tutorial.

It's always nice to have conversations with him.

"My day's been made brighter and more optimistic."

***********************************************

Still thinking about the hall production. Trying to find some reasons to convince myself that it may still worth that $15.

Sigh.

After all attempts and efforts.

Reasons,

or even excuses,

I find naught.


Managed to find out more about the play "Nobody Nose". It's a modern day version of a french play "Cyrano de Bergerac" which was written in 1897 by Edmund Rostand based on the real life of the real Cyrano de Bergerac, and an adaptation of this short play "BIG NOSE (The Modern Day Cyrano".

You could check it out over here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrano_de_Bergerac_%28play%29

Have managed to find the script to this french play. Realised that that's the style of how the play is protrayed - short crisp, often witty, exchanges of conversation among the characters. And definitely the quality of the dialogues is better.

And have managed to watch a clip of the movie version of "Cyrano de Bergerac" over youtube.com.
This play can be good.

But ah...the play which i watched last night still disappointed me greatly, and now it may disappoint me more. Cos it seems to me that this french play has been positively and greatly received. It's even an academic module to be studied in a literature class.

Thank goodness, I'm not going lab tmr and HM shall share her experience with the subject matter. hahaa..yeahh...

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My this new student, WJ, who is WC's younger bro, is another cute student.

Enjoy teaching him. Laughed at all his silly ridiculous excuses.

haha..and as for WC, haha..he's a naughty one. Occassionally smiling cheekily at his younger bro.

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Met up with ZJ they all..!! =D it's been great to have met them..!! haha..

And haa..going to meet them soon again..! so excited..!! =D

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Went for the subject matter's hall play production with HM, Jac and S. Managed to persuade them to go with me..whahaaa...

BUT...

sigh..what can i say about the play "Nobody Nose"?........

Here's the feedback collected from the 3 of them so far..

"Plot very stupid." "No plot" "Dun know what's going on" "weak plot"

Sigh.

Well...what can i say........hahaha...

Gonna think of how to say in a nicer way. =p
but then again, think the subject matter might guess that i will not be satisfied with the play.

But sigh.....my personal opinions of the play...so..ya..
1. Weak plot - There is little depth overall. It's just a simple plain romantic comedy. The plot development is poor.

2. Weak dialogue - The dialogues by each character show little depth, even though it is a comedy. It seems to me that the more dialogues they have for each character, the better to present this play. Which i feel that that is not necessarily true. I know I shouldn't be expecting Shakespeare humour. But oh well...

3. Weak character development - Couldn't see much of how each character develops through the play.

4. Weak acting skills - Only 2 people act pretty naturally and well. The rest....sigh...basically almost of them are crouching their backs. Which displays the vulnerability of their acting confidence. One of them din really use her heart to perform the character which she is playing, i can feel the inconfidence and restrain in her acting.

5. Considerably wrong arrangement for the interval - basically the 15 mins interval was arranged JUST PRIOR TO the ending of the play. I was like WOW.

6. Lack of climax build-up - Each scene transition is not well built-up and designed to create any specific climax. It just simply leaves the audience caught unpleasurely un-expected for its "hanging in the air" climax.


But well, one good thing about the play is - it's a comedy and i did laugh at most of the jokes. so ya....
And my favourite scence will be the opening scene. And that's all.

So you see? I really need to think of how to say all these to the subject matter in a less aggressive and more polite manner...

Cos really when I came out of the threatre, i was basically

"$*!&@R&E^)*YT*Q()*!@^#HWB_)(!)&(&^!*@!R^%$9284-7654265(*!_&^*%#87^!*%#^!%#&@*^$#$%#$#@!%$$%(*)_(**^%$%$#@$wyghkjbvhfd^$#$*())%$%#@!$%$%(*)+_^%"

yup.

Thank goodness, the subject matter din ask me for comments about the play on the spot. Otherwise i really ratter the terrible but true truth to him.

And this is my first time when I dun have to feel tired due to prolonged and enormous applause.

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Something good happened to KH. hahaa..happy for him.

Read a ridiculous girl (not my fren)'s blog. It just gets my blood boiling. Feel like giving her a hard smack down. Super ridiculous of this ridiculous girl. And ya, she's a GIRL, though this GIRL is one year OLDER than me.

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Anyway managed to find the script for the play "Nobody Nose".

http://www.geocities.com/pocolocoplayers/cyrano.html

Been habouring a lot of thoughts and worries inside my mind.

Family responsibilities, which i keep feeling that it seems i'm the only one who is having such a problem. Being the eldest among my siblings, many times, i just feel being tired of being the eldest. It's like I feel so different from the rest who are the eldest sibling.

There is a little tinge of 'jealousy' that they can go out and enjoy as much as they can. Gotten quite affected when the subject matter (who is the eldest sibling in his family too) told me that i must enjoy as much as i can, must experience many new things as much as possible.

Yet for me, I'm like fufillling some domestic KPI (Key Performance Indicator).

And by trying to keep up with the KPI, including my personal KPI, it's like working non-stop, 24-7. Even when I want to take a break, I can receive complaints from the boss (my parents).

So basically, my performance appraisals haven't been very good.

I also want to stay out late, I also want to enjoy life as much as I can.

But I just feel very restricted. And many times, I just feel extremely tired. Tired of being the eldest.

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It hadn't been easy for me to step into that place.

Really.

But I guess it's time for me to face this 'fear'. Cos the more i run away from it, the more i feel fearful of it.

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Meeting the S5 girls tomorrow..! yeah..! Can't wait to see them...! =)

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It seems that a number of nasty things happened to friends around me.

Really hope that everything'll go on fine...

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Going to lab tmr...

I'm becoming mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Yes..! Me no need go lab tomorrow..! =)

Been another busy day.

Got something cropped up at home and i had to cancel the day's pool outing with SE. Was very apologetic for the last minute cancellation of the outing.

Been in nasty mood these two days. Like what my family members have told me before, my mood is like the stock market. Almost sparked a fiery quarrel with my mum just now.

I dun know what could be wrong with me. Stress? Overwhelming with miscellaneous big and trifle agendas?

There are occasions when such inevitable feeling arises upon me - the more when i am with my friends, the more i feel lost and lonely.

Like what one of my frens remarked about me today, "Why are you so 孤僻?"

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我想
我已开始习惯着孤僻。

孤僻
黯然地
安静地
和祥地
与我同行。

或许
孤僻已成了我的知己。

**********************************************

SIAN.

Changes in my plan for the month of June. =(

Feeling very upset.

SIGH.

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Was very frustrated over the purchase of the ticket to the subject matter's hall's play production.
Still trying to persuade HM to go with me.
I'm fine with going alone. But from HM's point of view, definitely the subject matter won't be so cruel to leave me alone.

Sigh. but if HM is really not going, i might as well not going too. Dun want make things difficult for the subject matter. Though i am really interested to find out how the quality of a hall production will be like.

HM....please go with me......pleaseee....

hahaa.. =p

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So many things to do. ARG.

YEah..!! Bought the ticket for the play "The Pillowman"..!! haha..will be going there alone, as usual.

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Encountered a fainting case in the train early in the morning.

Was glad that I was able to help the person. =)

Feel really great though it maybe considered a relatively minor case. But it seems that to the person, it's been of a great help to her. She thanked me several times. ahhaa..

But i realised in a train of many passengers, only one or two passengers will offer to help. Dun know it is cos they are helpless, or they just wanna remain cold towards the person.

It's important to know basic first aid.

And it definitely confirms my determination to financially sponsor my brother to learn CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation), in case I'll not away from home for a period of time and if anything nasty happened, at least there's immediate help.

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Been having nasty cold. ARG.

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Visited Lisa Ono's official website.

http://www.onolisa.com/main/index_e.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Ono

If there were to be any chance which she'll be opening a concert in singapore, definitely i will be one of the early birds to get the ticket..!
Wanna hear her sing live..!!

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I need to be more strict with myself. Was kinda disappointed with my performance today and got myself affected the whole day.

But haa...nevertheless, managed to get "The Pillowman" ticket and the blouse which i've been eyeing for a long long time...!! hahaha...

Will wear the blouse to school one of the days, most probably on the days when i dun have to go lab. To avoid KH's teasings.. =p

WooOOo...busy the whole day..!!

Tuition in the morning.

Followed by a KTV session with my IA collaegue, Jas. Din get to meet CT as she's ill... =(


The KTV session was totally awesome..!!

Was sitting down properly to sing initially, so din really sing well. Then for some reasons or whatsoever, started to stand up and sing with Jas.
And started to sing rock songs..hahaa..and i was good..!! my vocal was kinda open for the first time..!!

Especially when we were singing Bon Jovi's "It's my Life", our loud vocals kinda attracted passers-by outside our room. whahaha..

Guess the stress in the lab gets the better of me. I was really singing at the top of my voice at the last one and a half hour, even Jas was amazed.

whahaha..!!

Later, met up with my TJC classmates for dinner in "Changing Appetite". Been a good catch-up session with many of them..! And even got to receive a good news that one of our classmates is married..!!! WOW...

haha..i wonder who'll be the next one.....hahaha...

Dev will be leaving Singapore for Australia, to continue his medical course study. Guess it's going to be quite some time later for the next meet-up.

Been a totally awesome day.

Especially the KTV session. It's my first time when I really opened up my vocal and SANG..!!!

LOL.

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Arg. KH mentioned something to me again.

But it's okay.

Time will prove KH wrong and mine correct. =)

Finally finished Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray".

A brillant story plot filled of great depth and boldness.

Read about Wilde's history too. WOW.

All I could say is - such literature cannot be produced by an ordinary person.

This is a brief introduction of Oscar Wilde.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde

I'm in total awe. Reading the novel for the second time.

*********************************************

The performance by the Black Knights in Singapore Airshow was great..!
Managed to watch the video clip recorded by my bro who went for the event today.

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Busy day again for tomorrow. Sigh.

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Trying not to think so much about what's been going on in my mind these few days.

I'm getting tired of guessing this and that.

Why is nobody believing my intuition?!

=(

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And when is my lab session going to end? I'm starting to feel fatigue. Sick and tired of things.

Been a very tiring day.

At least I did go for a short jog in the morning. Very happy. =D

Econ meeting today wasn't very effective to me. Partly cos of the vague description of the project.

Been listening to this song "會呼吸的痛" by Fish Leong. Love the lyrics.

Lab ended late as usual and I was not able to go for the Greek sculptures exhibition event held in National Museum. =(

Sigh.

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Getting very exhuasted by something.

Probably tat's why i still love the time when i can be alone by myself, or with a quiet friend.

That's when I feel I find the peaceful and calm side of myself. And probably the real side of me?

Probably this is human.

Solitude is the only time when you find the real you.

That's why many people dislike being alone, cos probably they are afraid of facing the real them.

Because each one of us possesses the picture of Dorian Gray.

It's a matter whether each of us wanna face this painting bravely or hide it in own's secret chamber and muse at it constantly.

*********************************************

YES...!!! The play "The Pillowman" is out again...!!!!

Yeah yeah yeah..!!

I am going to watch it, man...!! hahaha..have missed it the previous time. This time, going to get the ticket as soon as possible..!! Hmm..probably tomorrow..hahaha.. =p

must grab it fast before all the tickets are completely sold out..!

Synopsis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pillowman

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Yeah..!! My bro is going to help me with my FYP..!! haha..yeah..!! Love my bro lotsa sia..!!!

LOL.

Met up with LA for lunch today.

Was glad to have met him for a short catch-up session. Been in low mood in the morning and i was kinda enlightened by some of his advices and/or opinions. Felt a lot better after that. He's been a nice friend to talk to, though i used to have a terrible impression about him. But then, i see he's changed to a better person.

And again, he mentioned something which says real about myself.

But one thing for sure - I love to talk and listen to this friend. I often learn a lot about life and human inter-relationship from him, and he is a relatively patient listener.

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After talking to HM and LA, i've decided to listen to their advices and shall not teach my ex-student, CX.

Need to leave some time for myself and my family.

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Recess week next week...

Arg..goodness me..dun know whether i can have any good quality rest.

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Starting to take things easy. With the job which i'm intending to get..my schoolwork..my FYP...with those guy friends whom i've met and talked..with the subject matter...

Guess...i want to believe and hold faith that God has made plans for me.

What would the plan be? I have no idea. But at least I feel more at peace.

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Read half of the book "The Picture of Dorian Gray". Wilde is a brillant writer. His philosophies about human nature, about the society, about marriages, about beauty are aggressively worthy to be reflected upon.

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My TCM degree course is starting to get more hectic. For the next academic semester, will be having 4 evening lessons per week. And for the clinical attachment, will be having 5 evening attachments per week.

Goodness me....how i am going to handle? For clinical attachment, i am definitely gladful for the amount of days, cos this smells that i can get to learn more..! =D

But for the evening lessons.... (T_T)

I guess, i really need to find a guy who is very supportive of me taking this course, very understanding and patient.

Haa..well..i guess it's time to put an "ending" between the subject matter and me. hahaa..KH's finally stopped pestering him and me so often as before. Think partly cos both of us have told him privately about something.

YES.

And now, KH has shifted his attention to HM..!! whahhaa..goodness me..hahahaa...

In fact, I actually feel a lot better when i heard KH tell me about something.

The Excalibur.

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Went to National Library. And borrowed a few books..! =D

Decided not to borrow any books of serious themes. Wanna immerse myself in showers of literary comfort.

Finally managed to find Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"..! Love the preface written by Wilde. Brillant.

Borrowed Arthur Miller's "I Don't Need You Any More" and "Death of a Salesman". Still can't find "After the Fall". =(

Guess I really have to stop finding for this play. Probably it will find me in the end.

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Read RoNn's blog juz now. A pretty meaningful and encouraging piece of message.

http://www.r-o-n-n.blogspot.com/

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Guess HM and I were too tired after today's water membrane technology test.

I did a masterpiece, using the chemical used in glucose test.

TA DA...!!!!

..............

........................

.......................................

I shall call this masterpiece work - "Idiot".

hhaa..why i name this "Idiot"?

Well, i also dun know. I just feel like calling this work "Idiot".

Haa..!! That's why it's called art..! =p

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Hope can visit St. Andrew's Cathedral again soon.

I'm starting to feel very confident about my intuition's capability. And I find it to be a little scary in some ways or another.

Many times, I just hope I dun have to look at myself and/or others with my heart. It can get very de-moralising and scary when things are within your predictions or analysis.

“你吃饱了没？”

The stupidest question which could ever been asked.

WHAHAHA..!

A super funny and another embarrassing day.

But I just try to take it easy after it.

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And hhaa..my ex-student, CX, is being posted to a JC..!! haha..her first 2 choices to poly entry have been rejected. haha..goodness me...what a system...

Anyway she wanna me to teach her JC maths..all i can say now - "goodness me..."

haha..glad to hear from her that she still wanna me to teach her for these coming 2 years. haha..! furthermore, JC maths..! haha..me feeling very honoured.

But still thinking whether to take up this job. Or if not, anyone out there wanna teach my student JC maths?

=p

ARG. I am seriously dead tired.

Can't think of how to present my ENS well. And very tired to rehearse my presentation part. ARG.

Seriously lacking of sleep, and i totally have no strength to present. ARG.

I AM DYING HERE...HELP....!!!! (T_T)

Heard about KH telling me something, and haa..guess there's a serious communication breakdown between the subject matter and me. But hmm..aiya, dun know la..i only feel that KH keeps pushing the subject matter...i mean if he's interested, he will take the initiative himself.

AIYO.

Anyway, a little nervous tmr la, tat's all i know. First time i've to do something. but hhaha..well...see how's tomorrow..

Seriously i dun know about this whole matter la..i juz know i've developed a phobia now, and i'll try to run away from the phobia and will do anything to avoid facing the phobia, even if were to betray my own true feelings.

It's the Excalibur which has been rooted in my grave of love.

Finally finished watching this thai movie "Citizen Dog" recommended by LA.

Very interesting film and I love the colour contrast between the movie background and each character. Hmm..the flow of the story is relatively slow, but the use of bright colours and comical exaggeration of each character's story simply draw me to continue watching the whole movie.

The quote which strikes me the most:

"The harder you search, the harder something is to find, but if you stop looking, it will find you."

=)

Probably this is what life is and how dreams are.

Love this movie. It just keeps me reflecting about dreams, about love, about life.

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Managed to watch the korean movie "TIME". Finished the whole show. Yeah...

Another love-able movie of mine. Romantic tragedy. One of my favourite movie genres.

"We're all humans."

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But i realise that these kind of movies often go around the idea of human fragility.

Maybe this is true.

Man has nothing to fear but to fear himself.

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Been extremely tired. Slept for only 4 hours last night. And spent 21 bucks on a taxi fare juz to make it to school for sunday's lab. (T_T)

Fatigue. And it was only until not long ago that i finally thought of how to present my second ENS presentation. But was a little guilty cos i often think of better ideas at the last minute.

Talked to HB about topics on western and eastern medicine.

After today's talk, i realise that i still want to go into medical profession. Probably you'll say that i am stubborn.

Yes, for this, i am stubborn but i feel i am stubborn for the right reason.

In a dilemma these few days, i guess. On one hand, i wanna go overseas to work for 2 years. working overseas, especially in Europe, would be great and i can experience a totally different living style. Here's too boring for me. Coping with loneliness overseas? i guess i can cope it well. so for tat, i never worry.

But on the other hand, i wanna hold a decent 9-to-5 job so that i can focus on my TCM degree while at the same time, i can take up night-time art courses in NAFA.

SIGH.

Well, the most urgent thing for me is to focus on my last semester and do well.

So, trying to put all those thoughts aside for a while.

oki, gonna go sleep. lesson early in the morning later. *YAWN*

Another busy day for me. SIGH.

Was extremely fatigue that i almost wanted to faint in the lab. Been sleeping late and waking up early - basically lack of sleep. And I start to talk jibberish again. Been walking up and down in the lab, and i had little food before that. Partly no appetite to eat and busy to eat so much.

Had a little incident in the lab. Was a little angry with one schoolmate. One thing which i learnt - if i had a chance to do business, definitely not going to approach her for any business deal.

Anyway the lab ended well, cos HB bought 捞起..!! haha..and a lot of laughter, partly cos I had made a wish of wanting to grow taller... (T_T)

Lab on weekends again..ARG.....!!!!! and i have to go on sun, which falls on the same day when i need to teach tuition too..!! (T_T)

Din get to chill out in cafe. (-__-) lab ended late as usual.

SIGH. =(

I'm starting to feel burnt out......

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My Water Membrance Technology lecturer is very cute today..!!! whahaha..!!
His facial expression was so cute when he heard the Total Defence Day's siren. He was like very frightened...and he even went out of the lecture room to take a look. whahaha..!!!

He's very very very cute...!!! ahhhhhh...... =p

but he's going to stop teaching his part and another lecturer will take over the module soon. ARG. Furthermore, i dun like the lecturer who is going to teach the later part of the module.

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Very tired. And could feel myself developing negative thoughts and moods again. I wanna have a good rest again.... =(

wanna cry....i am really very tired... =(

Got this from LA..! He made it himself..! hahaha..it's pretty well-made and i really appreciate this card alot..! Has pretty nice writing and i appreciate what he's written inside the card..haa..thanks again, LA..!

Anyway, i'm not the only one who receives cards made by him, so yup, juz for all your information. whahaha..!!

A paper flower made by my classmate..!! haha..i was pretty surprised that there are still people who will make such gift on a day like this..! I like it alot..!!!

Today was started pretty well cos i received a home-made card from LA. But the day turned kinda greyish to me when i met up with JY for lunch. Was kinda reminded of the past. sigh.

As usual, lab ended late, and i got to rush for my TCM lesson again. Was extremely fatigue the whole day..and i almost wanna cry on my way to TCM lesson..i was really very tired....yet i need to push myself to go for the lesson. Thank goodness, the class was fun, and my classmate gave me a paper flower..!! =D

As usual, my 医古文 teacher went out of the point several times....ARG.....i ended up talking to to my classmate, HWM..and she started sending me funny sms-es even though we were sitting next to each other..!!

Basically we were totally bored of her out-of-point lecture.

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Started to look at this day in different colours. In a day, today, I've seen a lot of things. Out of love (temporary, i believe), rejection, friendship, awkwardness, confusion, relief....

Seriously, like what i heard EFF ask this question before in the lab - "Who invented this day?!"

HAHA...

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However, after looking at things today, i feel my decision and perception is right afterall.

OKi, people...haha..this is the photo which Tjhin and I have been discussing over the tagboard. hahhaa..yup, this is the Miss Ha Tay..!! whom Tjhin and I have named her. Haa..cos both of us find her to be very pretty, considerably the prettiest girl in tat primary school..hahhaha...

think we managed to notice her partly cos both of us were holding our cameras, snapping shots and videos of the kids in Kim Bai Primary..so haha..got to notice this girl by coincidence? hahhaa..



Came across another possibly great film on Arts Central.





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk_to_Her





Wanna catch this film this sunday night at 10pm..!! Think it's going to be nice..!! haha..!

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ZJ and her bf came to visit HM, KH and I in the lab today..!! Was very surprised and happy when I saw ZJ in the lab..!! haha..cos she din inform us that she's coming..! haha..it's great to see her..!! =D





And again, started complaining to ZJ and her bf about KH. Complained that KH keeps bullying and teasing me... =p





But ok la, this friend KH is considered nice, cos he offered to help with some experiment testings so that i could make it for my TCM lesson. So, ok la, for this once, he is nice la..hahhaa..

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Hopefully, can post something here in time tomorrow.

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Photos photos taken today in City Hall, Esplanade, Marina Square

Din get to meet up with my buddy, so ended up killing time alone in Esplanade.

And came across performances. For this sch...hmm...not very well-sung...

I've difficulty in trying to appreciate their singings.

Hhaa..but i like the teacher conductor..hahahhaa..my type..

LOL..ARG..!!

Next, the uncles stepped in. Their voices are pretty good..!!

Another choir stepped in. Heard they were once invited to Fusan arts festival..something like tat//hhaa..

Then went to Marina Square's "Gloria Jean's" to chill out..read my book...stone...ahaha..nice nice...it's been a long time since i did that...

Went up to the rooftop of Marina Square, and took a few photos...

Went to watch this piece of dance alone. Was not aware that it's supposed to be a dance. Thought it was a short play. Paid $40 for the dance on the spot. And it was only until when i stepped into the threatre, i realised that it's actually a dance. And this piece was premiered at the Berlin Arts Festival in 2004..!! haha...wow..

I am a total noob in contemporary artistic dance. but this piece lives up to its name and fame. And i can understand what's going on throughout the whole piece. It is totally AWESOME..!!

It's like a play being presented in a form of dance.

The lightings, the music tempo, the buildup of climate and creation of different atmospheres, the intensity of internal struggle experienced...the way how the dancers dance..

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO...!! Afterall, it's worth the 40 bucks. It's brillant, intensively emotional, sensational..!!!

haa..n i got to interact a little with a guy foreigner..haha..but arg..! no follow-up.! hahaha.. :p

But not telling my parents tat i actually went to watch such a show. First, waste of $$ and secondly, they will be shocked to know their daughter is actually watching such genre. hahah.. =p

So, i must earn lotsa money so that i can afford to go watch these in the future. The arts industry in Singapore is growing and i'm starting to see more excellent art works and performances introduced into the local arts industry..

Yeah..!! =D

Bought this bossa nova album in city hall's HMV. A brillant album...! Her voice is very good..!! enormously better than Oliva Ong. The way she sings these songs is very relaxing....nice nice nice......

Love these few tracks which i've uploaded here. Do take the time to listen. Her voice is good...and the music is so so so relaxing..

Definitely love to listen this album in the night...especially when u are sitting alone quietly in the bus / car, looking out of the window..

This album is awesome...

The whole day was very well-spent, though was kinda "fly pigeon"...hhaa.. :p And at last i went back to St. Andrew's Cathedral, not to do project but to reflect and pray.

Cos was kinda angry with my mum...she had kidnapped my laptop Lala...!! ARG...!!! and i can't upload some photos which i've saved in Lala.. (T_T)

2nd day

2nd day of the Mouse year..and I slept till late..hahaha..it's been a very long time since i woke up late...hahaa..

Been listening to this song (yes, the one which is uploaded here).

Find this song very soothing...for some reasons, I've been listening to this song non-stop for several days.. =p

Stayed at the home the whole day. My house is, as usual, always that noisy. It's good to have a family of 5, but sometimes it can get really noisy..

That's why i like being alone at times, blogging, listening to music at night...

If one day, if i had the chance to stay overnight in a chalet, especially those chalets near the beaches, I definitely wanna make my way down to the beach in the middle of the night, bring along my mp3 player, listen to jazz while enjoying the sea breeze..looking up the night sky...and if emotions and sentiments evoke, shall do some sand drawings, like what i did once in my jc years.

jus wanna be alone at that moment. alone with myself, the sea and God. and probably with someone special? hhaa.. craps..

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Meetup with my buddy, HL tmr after lab..! wonder how he's been nowadays.....

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My dad cooked dinner today..!! =D

Loved the way how he arranged the food on the bowl..!! I din manage to take photo of the bowl, cos i'm too hungry to bother about taking my camera phone from my room to the dining room.

It's something like how Japansese arrange the sushi in the lunch box..! It's very neat and well-presented..! haha..and i enjoyed eating the dinner today..! in extremely good appetite, partly cos my dad cooks and makes the effort to present the food beautifully.. (^^)

hmm..but a small portion of my good appetite was - i'm already starving. =p

Probably this is what parents are. Sometimes they can really make us mad about them - their long-winded nags...their never-ending and always-unsatisfactory complaints about us....all the ridiculous quarrels with them..

But when they do something which looks so simple, they juz make us feel loved and blessed.

At that instant, I just love my parents a lot. (^^)

HAPPY RATTY YEar..!! =D

The first day of the Rat year...and guess what i saw outside my room window?

Someone taking photos of his own car..trying to torture his "wife" in the hot sun and he himself bathed in the warmth of the shade.

What a man. =p

Love the sky today...it's very lovely... =)

I always love the sky...Everytime when i look up at the sky, i just can't help saying in my heart how much I thank and love God.

Love this jeep. Very cool..!

Went for a house visit. Basically, my two brothers were the front-line soldiers.

They volunteered their duty to clear the "debris" (tibits) of the battlefield (tibit tray).

As for me, i am still having cough. And was pretty upset when i was not allowed to take soft drinks due to my cough. Ended up having no mood to eat much. (T_T)

I am still very pleased with my hair cut. hahaha..!! DLY and YS remarked that it's nicely cut..!! and the only person who din remark anything about my new hair cut was LA. (-_-) but ok la, at least he said something which made me smile for a moment. so ok la, can forgive him for not making any comment about my hair cut. WHAHA..!!

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""I really feel I'm blessed. There are many people around me who constantly inspire me, especially these few - LA, M, Ronn..and my ex-tuition student, CX."- Man Sze

P.S- these are words can encourgage and inspire me too, affirmations.thank you Man Sze. haha. means alot. surprises me too ;-) -RoNn"

Read this from RoNn's blog. (^^) hhaa..was very happy reading this..haa..me touched touched..hahaha..!!

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Been uploading some photos which i went for community service in vietnam, on facebook..brought back many wonderful memories..i miss the 2006 Chia Se team a lot....and i miss the Kim Bai kids over in Ha Tay...

And I love this photo very much. Photo taken by Tjhin..

Guess this is the best smile i ever see upon myself on photos, after the breakup. WHAHA..! :p

Hmm..suddenly have this urge and decision...

Will be disclosing this blog to everyone in my msn..

For what reasons..i've no idea..probably i wanna people around me to know the real me and let them decide whether to accept me as their friend? That I'm not a perfect person, though i've been trying to be as perfect as possible...which is like sooo..impossible at several times..and very often, I'm never a perfect daughter to my parents. To them, I am a total workaholic now, who has little time for family.

Probably i wanna be a living inspiration to people around me? As in letting others know that they are not alone afterall, they are not facing their problems alone...

Still doing up research on the upcoming section which is going to be introduced into this blog..really wonder how the responses will be like.

hmm..think i'm starting to get sentimental right now, in the middle of the night..haha.. =p

Recently, always been developing some feelings for rainy days, especially when they come in heavy pour. And I kinda agree with what LA had told me before - to the japanese, rain is a form of purification.
Everytime when I reflect upon what he mentioned about this, I totally agree. Two consecutive days of heavy downpour when that piece of news came crashing upon me - it's a form of purification. It's God's way of comforting me that it's time to start afresh, to start anew. =)

And right now, I am still thinking what God has planned for me. Am I really going to have my dream fulfilled in the long run? Can I really provide professional medical care to the patients and/or friends and family around me?

One thing for sure - no matter how long this dream of being a doctor (regardless of being western or eastern medical) will take me to fulfill, I will press on.

I've been fighting for this dream since sec 2. Even if one day I were to fall again, I am going to pick myself up fast.

Like what M puts in his msn, "When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking."

I am one of the real people.

******************************************************

I really feel I'm blessed. There are many people around me who constantly inspire me, especially these few - LA, M, Ronn..and my ex-tuition student, CX.

=)

Photos..!! =D

Cake given by my research student, HB..! YUM YUM...CHOCOLATEY cake..!! ahhaa..

The chinese restaurant in Calton's Hotel. Where I had "reunion dinner" with the gang..haha..

One of the pubs in CHIJMES...too bad there's no live jazz band.. =(

The Singapore Sling..which tastes fruity and made me sip non-stop..ended up myself feeling so sleepy..haha..but glad that I can still walk straight and totally sober. But weird thing was that, my nose felt numb after drinking it. =p

haa..then got myself rash the next day..think cos i had red wine for my family's reunion dinner, alcohol content accumulation, i guess? hhaha.. =p

AHHHH....what should I say about the reunion dinner with my NTU gang and KH's gang....?

Hmmm...pressurising...stressful.........hahahaha...

Have taken a few photos there..probably try uploading here the next blog..sth's wrong with the thingy..
haha..

Anyway...AHh...this KH.......i really wanna beat him....he kept teasing me n the subject matter over the table...and still made us take photo...and AH.....it's the most embarrassing moment la...the moment was kinda noisy too, which kinda attracted the people around us...and some actually tried to check out what's going on...

(-_-) AHHHhH....

Made me super super super embarrassed......AHHHh...

Oki, back to the food section.
The food over there was pretty alright. It's a chinese restaurant at Calton Hotel.

Thank goodness, KH left after the dinner and the rest of us headed for a drink at a pub in CHIJMES. Ordered Singapore Sling cocktail...and I kept drinking it non-stop as it was pretty fruity...ended up myself feeling fatigue and stoned there for a while. I was pretty glad that my liver is functioning well, performing the detoxication at its optimum efficiency. haha..Just after going to the toilet twice, I was pretty sober now. And yup, right now, I can still have the energy and the soberness to write this blog. But made myself a cup of drink to remove any hangover, for my health's purpose. hahaa..

Guess i still prefer going to jazz pubs and drink red wine. I prefer this kind of lifestyle..
hhaa...

But definitely, I've kinda recovered from the embarrassing moment. And juz take it easy and not reading into it much. One thing I have to keep constantly reminding myself - I cannot be tied up again during this period. No way, man. And i'm going to make sure that i pass this test which God probably tries to put me through again.

Been sleeping early and waking up early. =)

And finally today, I had pulled myself up from bed to jog.

Been saying "no" to late nights nowadays.

Think will continue leading such lifestyle.

And yeah..!! Dun have to go lab on the CNY's eve..!! YEAH..!! so happy happy...! =D

Lab today. HM joined in the teasing. (-_-)
ARG....all cos of KH..!! ARG...!!!
Really hope I'll have a peaceful "reunion dinner" on tuesday with this group of friends...PLEASE..............

And good news..!! my ex-tuition student, WC, sms-ed me this evening, informing that he would like me to teach his younger brother tuition..!! YEAH..!! And his mother had agreed to my deal..!! hhaa..

which means I will be busier than ever. But I dun really care. Right now, I just want to keep myself as occupied as possible.

However, I've not told my parents about this piece of news yet. =p
Think they'll freak out. hahhaha....cos even right now, without any tuition, I am already very busy with studies, projects, FYP, TCM....

Oh ya, managed to have my hair cut yesterday..!! hhaa..only have it cut for 12 bucks..! haha..wanna save money and the travelling time.
Hmm..well, it turns out pretty good. I kinda love the hairstyle now. =)
It's a little different...haha..even HB and HM remarked that it does really look different.

haa..yup. It's going to be a brand new year and I wanna have a brand new hair look.
And a brand new lifestyle.

Hope everything's going smoothly for me........

TIME

Watched the first 30 minutes of the Korean film "TIME" directed by Kim Ki-Duk.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zQE-CSzodg
Synopsis of the movie: http://www.seoulselection.com/screening_dvd_view.html?pid=1200
Kim Ki-Duk's brief profile: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Ki-Duk

It's superb.

How the female character is paranoid of the whole relationship, how her emotional insecurity leads to paranoid behaviour and drastic measure to go for a plastic surgery.

How the devil of love can cause such harm to couples.

How events can twist when the woman loves her bf more than her bf loves her and decides to take drastic measure to leave him before he leaves her.

It's all been clearly presented.

Quite often, in a scary way.

It maybe only that 30 minutes after the show starts, but it's good enough for me to stick my butt on the sofa.

The movie evokes a very strong theme of human insecurity and loneliness. To me, it's a form of mockery of human being defeated heavily by own's insecurity and loneliness. Just within that first 30 mins, the quote "We're just humans." has repeated twice.

The 7 sins, I believe?

But definitely, insecurity drives people taking drastic measures to secure themselves emotionally and mentally. And loneliness lures people trying to find means and ways to fill up that hole. It may not be intentional, but it's the subsconsiousness which controls the thoughts and behaviours of human.

Ha..and this shows how fragile human can be.

Maybe I prefer hearing "We're just humans." as a form of excusable reason.

Borrowing books in library today was almost like doing some last-minute frantic shopping.

Managed to grab a few books just before the library closed.

Phew.

But din manage to find "The Picture of Dorian Gray". Been borrowed by others.

(T_T)

Can't believe myself to be busy to the extent tat i could only spend 10 to 15 mins in the library. Before the library closed.

AH.

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Manged to catch the trailer "The Leap Years"...

Looks good to me. But definitely another chick flick show. Romantic tragedy, I guess. Another stupid girl waiting stupidly for a guy.

Probably will watch it.

Yeah, the korean movie "Time" will be broadcast over Arts Central this Sunday..! Wanna watch it...a romantic tragedy. Another stupid girl trying to change her external appearance, juz hoping her bf will love her more, and not get bored of her.

That's why it'll be better to be loved than to love.

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YAWN~~~ So sleepy now....Sigh, still need to go sch on sunday for lab..sigh.. =(

DIstortion of thoughts

Been very tired recently..Fallen asleep during my tcm lessons juz now.. =(

Recently been always arriving late for tcm lessons.. =( Lab always ends late, and I always need to rush for the lessons, without stopping at any take-away kiosk to get some decent finger-food.

And i realised today how much my appetite has deteriorated. My stomach's not taking in much food as it used to. Been wasting food recently cos I could not finish it up. =(
Feeling very guilty, every time when I waste food. =(

Starting to get quite sick of the whole subject matter thingy and the "crazy over guys" mood...KH still teases me as usual, though not as intensive as before. But i find the subject matter quite poor thing...he's always kinda being left out of the lab group...

Haa..dun know why recently, received sms-es which kinda surprise me gladly..whhahaa..

Can't feel the Chinese New Year mood at all. I'm kinda mentally prepared to spend the eve with my research student. and gonna go back sch for lab during the 3rd or 4th day of the New Year. =(

SIAN AH......

But been glad that i often wake up early. And always can feel the energy of going to school.

Yet I'm feeling I'm lagging........AHh....especially my TCM stuff....AHHhHHh...
I wanna do well in TCM...I wanna take good care of the people around me..wanna take good care of the patients...

Yeah..going to National Library again...!! Yeah..! i love libraries..!! but provided they have good books..hahaha...
wanna find Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"...!!

Tired tired tired tired......

But i still love what i'm doing now. At least I feel I've spent my time well and fruitfully.

Can't wait to step into the working world...and hope I can get my ideal job...and hopefully my social circle will expand even more.

Sigh. My Sunday's been burnt by FYP. Again.

=(

Din even have any chance to rest at all.

And I din even have any time to exercise..! ARG..!

And I have not bought my CNY clothes yet..! ARG..!

And now my school lecture notes are in a mess..! Din even have any chance to organise them!

ARG...!

ARG...!

=(

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Still trying to improvise the ENS script..Sigh..Hopefully everything'll turn out fine...

Been 4 yrs since I did such planning.

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Yes, gotten a permission to do something on my blog..!

So, oki, my dear readers, do start looking out for a new section over my blog..!! =D

I am so excited..!! Hee..wanting to take this as a form of leisure and academic get-away. haha..!!

But need all ur feedbacks more in the future..! =)))

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Something's been wrong with me. I've been always so happy with the idea of wedding.

In fact, I'm scared at the thought of me being so happy. Cos it seems to be a prelude to something bad which might happen.

**************************************************

Sigh. Sch tmr...SO SIAN..................

I have not taken any long break or rest yet....

and i need to spend so much on tcm assessment books and reference book...and still waiting for the books to arrive..ARG......

***************************************************

Haa..my student, CX, was very sweet today. ahaa..probably i've been giving some motivational talks to her, and even today, a spiritual talk (guess it's attributed to today being Sunday).

This was the last msg which she sms-ed me today..

"Wa your english suddenly so good! Haa. Okay lor. I think I go poly. Cuz I really confident in poly. JC really cant. Not cut out for it. Thanks man love u La!"

hhaa..first time a student confesses her love to me..!! WHAHHAHAA...

Really, this student inspires and teaches me something about life. =)

And I really thank God for loving me so much. He has brought many nice people to me, always there to tell me that life's still beautiful. And He always seems to be there to protect me. =)

Eventful day today. hhaa...

Went to do my Engineering & Society (ENS) project with my project mates. Made our way to St. Andrew's Cathedral.

And I simply love the church when I step into it..!
It feels peaceful when i step into it. It feels very comfortable to me.
Will go visit there when I need some time to reflect upon things. =)

When we reached there, there were a few people who seemed to be preparing for a wedding ceremony.
It feels so sweet..I wanna to hold my wedding ceremony there too....... =))))

Well, think the wedding atmosphere and the movie "27 Dresses" seem to blow over my mind. I was so blindfolded by the whole wedding feel that I tried to walk a short distance down the aisle, like a bride. Haa...I juz wanted to know how it feels like to walk along this aisle when you are getting married to someone who is willing to share his life with u.

And i can tell u - it feels really great. It juz feels blissful. I dun know why, but it feels fabulous..haha.. =)

This is bad. "27 Dresses" has blown my rational mind away.

***************************************************

Happened to come across the "Vintage Cars Exhibition" held in National Library.

Very awesome cars..took a few photos but I din manage to upload them here. Will try showing u all tomorrow.

haha... =p

****************************************************

Hopefully my ENS project will be presented well. I managed to think and suggest of how to present it and hopefully it'll turn out fine.

*****************************************************

Talked to one of my students, CX, juz now. And she's decided to go poly to pursue her dream course.

I am happy and proud of her.

I just hope that she will keep her faith n determination burning. =)

My intuition just tells me that she'll succeed in life, with her strong and determined attitude.

****************************************************

Met a weird uncle in the afternoon, under my block.

He blocked me with his bicycle, and started to tell me weird stuff, which later I realised that it's kinda uncomfortable to listen to his insane rubbish.

Basically, i felt being verbally sexually harassed at that instant. =( And definitely I confirmed that he might be insane in some way or another.

Thank goodness, I quickly shook him off and hurried home. I was scared with the idea tat he'll follow me and grab me out of a sudden from my back.

What an afternoon. ARG.

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Watched the last part of "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" directed by George Clooney.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessions_of_a_dangerous_mind

Very interesting way of presenting the story. Love the way how the plot flows and how Director Clooney protrays the confessions made by the main character.

*******************************************************

As usual, tcm history lesson's a total bore. One of my classmates actually fell deeply asleep in class. And the way he slept was kinda funny. However, thank goodness, he din snore. hahhahaa..! =p

********************************************************

ARG. Sch on a sunday afternoon. ARg..!!

Need to start chiong-ing my studies - both tcm n school. I'm starting to feel the lag and the emptiness.

YAWN...So sleepy sia....

Still have not written the script for the ENS presentation...argggg........

******************************************************

And hhaa..found another wanna-read novel..!!

Wanting to buy Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"..!!! Happened to come across this title when I was reading an article in LEXEAN's Feb 2007 issue.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray

Brillant themes..

I wanna read...!!!! Hopefully can find it in National Library.....hahha...!

Went to watch "27 Dresses" after lab, with a fren.
And i'm pretty impressed with this fren. He's very patient. So patient to the extent that I was like...wow...cos it's the patience which i can only see in men of 30s? haha..basically it's the patience which has been cultivated for a very long time, tat's what my intuition tells me.

And thank goodness, my research student needed to accompany his wife to buy CNY goods. So get to be released early..!

Haa...

Great show. It's a romantic comedy, and definitely as what my this fren remarked, it's a girl-show. hhaa..

You could visit this website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/27_Dresses

Personally I feel, I love the show. I just have the feeling towards the show, especially when the guy whom Jane acted by Katherine Heigl fell in love and married her sister, and when she was given the advice to learn to let go.

And when I watched the scene in which Kevin acted by James Marsden told her that it's time for a guy to take care of her, I sobbed.

And I sobbed when she finally gets to put on her real wedding dress.

I just feel for the show.

And for that moment, I really wish that I can have the chance to wear the wedding dress and walk down the aisle too...

But i just hope i dun have to wear 27 dresses.

guess they will only make me feeling more empty after attending each wedding day.

****************************************************

Had a lunch chat with my this same fren on the same day, and i learnt from him that shipping career takes up a lot of time. It's like working 12 hrs a day...

I am pretty taken aback, cos i din really expect to be that long of a day's working hours.

but well, i dun care anymore. Anyway, i am single now, no strings attached. and i seriously dun wanna to be tied up. Cos i know myself that i'll put my partner above anything, as long as i feel it's for the partner's sake.

i still feel that i will be married to a guy of 29 or 30...? which i can't wait to enter the working society. haa..

*****************************************************

I love my water membrane technology lecturer - he is SO CUTE.

His every move and every action, including his smile, is so so so cute....

I juz hope he's not married and gets to notice me, man...hahhaa...

but well, he still can't beat the nuclear physics lecturer who taught me in my 1st year. tat lecturer smiled at me each time when he walked past me..for 3 times..!! hhaa..i can still remember that smile, man....

LOL.

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Arg...got to do project work tmr...

and i need to go back sch for lab on sunday...and thank goodness, HM has volunteered to come on sunday's shift with me..otherwise KH has the chance to tease me again..regarding the subject matter.

It's really peaceful without KH around, teasing me. At least I dare to talk to the subject matter more.

But again, i need to stress that there'll not be any chemistry, from what i observe. Not that he's a nice guy, he is very nice, from a few things which i've observed (i observe everyone). But na..no sparks.

So, yup. Hope KH'll stop teasing me about this!

"O" level results today....OOOo..been very nervous the whole afternoon..msged my 3 students early in the afternoon about the msg.

And one of them, WC, msged me this, "Wait wait haven reached sch yet. Dun so jing zhang hahas!"

Can't help it. I was very nervous.

Results were out. My students were very happy with their results, cos all of them had made tremendous improvements, especially CX. She had been failing her A.Mathematics all along, and she's really on the breakdown during that period. And she's gotten a B3 for it now..!! hahaa...I'm really very happy and proud of her. And definitely I am glad that she'll be more confident of herself now. =D

And as for WC, he ah....was so happy that he decided to try building up the suspense, making me feeling so jing zhang the whole lab session. That's what he wrote in the sms,"Hahas wad subject u wanna hear? Hahas. Bring up de suspense."

I was like..... (T_T) please don't do that to your teacher la...

hahaa...

as for the other student, JY, hmmm..i consider her results to be pretty alright. Din really msg her for any follow-up. =p

Somehow dun know why, i juz don't feel very happy. Probably i've placed pretty high hopes onto these students.
However, after talking to CX over the phone juz now, giving her some advices, I feel happier when I heard her talking happily over the phone.

I guess this is the best gift ever to have received from any student.

It's not about students giving numerous red pens to teachers, showing their appreciations.

But it's about the students evolving into individuals of confidence and achievements.
It's about injecting new positive life values and principles into these little ones.
Guess this is really the best teacher' day gift to be ever received. =)

***************************************************

Hhaa...peaceful day in the lab today...WHAHAHHAHA..! I am so glad, man.....

=p

Continued my hideout today. haha...

Thank goodness, KH din do that in front of the subject matter today. BUT I could not stand the embarrassment created by KH, and went into my favourite hideout which I dun have to be directly in contact with the subject matter.

Guess I hide too much and KH's been exaggerating the situation. The subject matter seems to sense something fishy. haa..ended up talking to HM more.

so ppl, please do shift ur attention to HM now! HM's happiness is more important than mine..! LOL...

I really could not stand that kind of stucky situation, that I told KH straight in the face that the subject matter is not my type.
hahaha..and left him stunned for the whole afternoon. whahaha..!!

and obviously he's not buying it and i dun care. I juz keep repeating my stand. hahhaa..yeah....

oki, people, so this whole thing shall end today! HA! =p

but KH's really aiyo.....really likes to find some entertainment and enjoyments in me. (-_-)

And now EFF knows about my nicknames....arg....think very soon, the whole lab knows about my nicknames.......

Anyway, thank goodness KH will not be around in the lab for the next 2 days! YEAH..!!
LAB PEACE..!!!

lol...i'm so mean.. =p

oh ya, dun tell DLY who's the subject matter. His network's too big. I dun wanna make the whole thing so big.

This is getting scary to me.

Must hide.

I really hope this whole thing quickly dies down....I'm finding extreme difficulties in talking to the subject matter now. and i really dislike the the whole sticky situation..and i've told KH before about the consequences..! arg....

Sigh, furthermore, may still have to go back sch on the weekends..and there goes my exercising plan.. (T_T)
and i need to face the embarrassing moment again....oki, right now, i only hope is that the subject matter will target more on HM now, then i feel so much much better..! =p
must give the happiness to my good friend first..hahahhaa...!!

SO SO SO...oki, people, deal ah...shift all ur attention to HM...lol

i know u all r nice people, wanna find me happiness.
But i'm not in a big hurry to get happiness. I wanna it to come naturally and mutually.
And right now, I dun wanna be tied up.
But of course....will keep my options wide....

whahahaha...

So find me a western doctor.
then can combine my easter medicine with his.
中西和并 - heavenly combination.

WHAHHAHAHAHHA...!!

this is nuts. So many fun things have been happening these few days.

What a day.

Should I say today's an exciting day?



haha..



I can't believe that ZJ's bf's good fren, KH, really did that in front of the subject matter, AND even YS..

ARgg..!!!

The lab session was a nervous one for me. Thank goodness I managed to find a good "hideout" to escape KH's "interrogation". I felt so super embarrassed the whole day. Basically I wasn't dare to look at or go close to the subject matter at all, in case scared the subject off.



And KH's still trying to get insider story from me..Arg.... (T_T)



but well, I've told myself that I am not going to be attached again until I feel completely confident about myself. I just want to take my singlehood to upgrade myself until and so that I feel more qualified and confident to take care of my future man.



And anyway my intuition tells me that I'm not the subject's type. So arg, KH, stop pressing..! hhaa...(as if he knows about this blog, haa..)



Met WM in sch today. Felt a little weird when he looked and talked to me. Maybe I sounded too happy when i talked to him, and he found it puzzling? I dun know, the feeling's so awkward that kinda kept me thinking for almost the whole day.



LA sms-ed me an intriguing msg, which i feel like sharing with all of you.

That's what his sms said,

"I realise, life is so peaceful w/o a r/s. But sometimes the loneliness can creep unexpectedly. Its really impt to find a higher purpose in life to rise above."

Decide to keep tis sms, it just keeps me reflecting.

Yesterday's recruitment talks were super boring. Even a company's management trainee programme doesn't impress or motivate me as much as the one which I've decided to apply.

Really hope everything'll go smoothly for me..I really wanna this trainee programme badly..!!

Think I've laughed too much yesterday on my way home with HM, DLY and his friend, SR.

Really laughed too much. Slept till late morning. haha...

And arg..! KH mentioned something which embarrassed me a lot..! purposely did that in front of the subject matter. Thank goodness, nothing happened. Phew.

Surprisingly, yesterday's 3 hours of break was well spent than last monday. haha..probably YJ was around, so at least I din feel any nasty feeling at all.

Anyway, thanks a lot to you all - ZJ, HM, LA, YJ, YS, DLY, W, Xiao Ling, Eileen, JF, KH, and ZJ's bf. Your every little action and intention, I really appreciate them a lot.. =)
Thank you...

=D a chocolate gift offered by my tcm class ex-chairperson..!!

So happy..!! haha..!! and i find it very sweet of her to offer us all each a chocolate..haha..

and the chocolate tasted extra delicious and smelled extra fragrant..!! (^^) hhaa..

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Lab today was pretty alright..

KH started to rub salt on my wound.. (-_-) teased me to accept the fact that D is having a great time wif his gf while i am sulking away... (-___-)

I am not sulking anymore

and obviously i know D is having a great time now.

he really loves to test my patience and my temper...

and later he tried to be a one-sided match-maker...ARG..! haha...and i kept pushing the red string to HM..hhahaa..! =p

made me feel so embarrassed...

my whole saturday's just burnt cos of my fyp.. (T_T)

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Juz finished watching the movie "Something's Gotta Give"..

Super hilarious show..! Especially when Diane Keaton's character is heartbroken with Jack Nicholson's character. The way she cries is kinda hilarious..

Consider this a great romentic comedy.

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Yawnn...so sleepy...still have not done what i wanna do today.. =p

Going to sleep liao..

Sian, still need to go back sch for my fyp later in the afternoon.

Sigh, supposedly to meet ZJ they all for roller-blading..sigh. =(

but well, no choice. FYP occupies most of my time now.

Hmmm..wat elso do i wanna say...arg..kinda forgotten what i wanna say...

oh yA..! HAHA..
one of my ex-student, WC, had asked me this afternoon whether I would like to teach his brother A, E maths, chem n physics..haha..
I was like...wow...i'm so honoured..ahhhaa..and definitely i feel very happy.. =D

i love these 3 students whom i taught last year. They are a very different batch from the rest whom i've taught.
They cheered me up in their ways, they brightened up my life in their special ways. And they have taught me different lessons of life, through interaction with them.

But hmm..i've told u all that i'm not going to teach. But probably cos this is my ex-student who asks, and i feel i still cannot live without work.
Well, still in the negotiation of the tuition fee - i have kinda increased the fee pretty much. =p
so i'm pretty mentally prepared that in the end, i will not be able to close the deal. haha..!

everyday's a fyp day. Very boring. (-_-)

but KH recently seems to be very nice to me..tink he's like a big brother or something like tat, keeps trying to drill and educate some stuff into me.
ZJ n her bf came to visit us yesterday afternoon..and revenge's taken..!! haha..all thanks to ZJ's bf..!! teased KH until he's speechless n embarrassed..!! WHHAHA..!

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Hmm..noticed that it's no longer raining, unlike the weather on tat saturday n sunday, n probably monday.

The weather seems to reflect my moods and my feelings.

It's juz my feeling..and it's a strong one.

When the incident happened, the weather was stormy, seemed to reflect my deep feelings towards the incident.

Probably one day..one day..this blog'll be a forgotten one to D.

And when I have moved on more on the following days, the weather's been a sunny one.

hhaa..maybe u may call me insane. But it seems to be so reflective of my feelings, and I could feel it so strongly and vividly.

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I am no longer going to deny my intuition anymore. I trust my intuition more than before.

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Oki, gonna go sleeo liao..