Been camping myself in my school's EERC (Environmental Engineering Research Centre)..doing my FYP report..trying to trim 20 over pages of literature review to about 10pages..?

this is ridiculous, man...we are only allowed to hand in our report worth of 40 pages...not enough for my FYP team la..!!

But like what HM says, "We are FYP students, not PHD students."

**************************************************

Been debating with HM about our side dishes to go along with our FYP reports, over the msn last night. hahaha..

The debate of "high class" and junk food.

hhaa..Oki, HM..!! These are my "high-class" food for my last night's camping session. haha..so so so impressed ah? whahahahha...!!

So glad that I dun have to worry about my dinner last night. HB brought a lot of food into the centre for us (KH, QL and me).

hhaa...so nice of HB...!! whaha..

And I was so super filled after that...whaha...

And yup, welcome to my "working desk"...!! hahaa..fully utilise the spatial beauty of the table. whaha...

Besides a PHD student in his office, I was all alone in EERC last night. Was quite pleased with the serenity of the working environment.

Was kinda 'pestered' by KH and DLY on wednesday (they were there to do their report too)...they kept reminding me of my previous r/s. made me unable to work upon my report for an hour...but ok la, at least KH apologised..haha..so for once, KH's nice la..whaha..

but i love the ambience of the EERC..it's very cosy and welcoming..!! Furthermore, it's a safe place. Dun have to worry about the laptop if I were to leave it there unattended.

**********************************************

Really hope to go overseas to work. At least I can get out of home for two years - dun have to listen to my parents' nagging and ridiculous accusations. That's one of my reasons for going out venture.

And definitely i destest of them bringing up old scores (翻旧账). Furthermore, they like to link the old scores with the current one. And they din even bother to find out more about the situation, then immmediately jump to unsupported conclusions and start hurling accusations.

Ridiculous.

"If i happened to be a parent, i make sure i'll not be like them."

Typing my thoughts in extreme hassle.

Finally done with my ENS presentation slides, though not fully completed as I need to discuss more with my 2 classmates later in the day.

ARG..! I've gotten very confused over the equations and my research student, HB, wasn't very pleased with my performance. (T___T) Guess I've disappointed him in some ways or another.

But then again, I can understand. I am seriously behind schedule. KH, subject matter (QL), and HM had completed almost over 50% of their literature review..and I've done ..... 1%...!!!

Got quite affected and stressed up just now, tat while I was talking to my dad, I kinda cried a little.

A lot of things to do, and I've not even marked my 2nd younger brother's homework. =(
And my mum even asked me whether I have looked through his tuition work, asking me for comments about the tuition work.
ARG..!
Got quite frustrated that I did not answer my parents in a polite way. Was pretty rude to them. =(

But sigh, like what HB and my dad advised me - not to go for my TCM lessons these few days. =(
Sigh...was a little reluctant to take their advice initially...but i really wanna do well in this report..so sigh, have to scarifice my TCM lessons.

I dun know why - I just enjoy attending TCM lessons. I always feel the great importance of all TCM lessons.

Some of my friends around me seem to be falling sick, and I feel I can't do anything to help them. Which makes me feel very useless and helpless.

Sigh....

I just need to tahan these few days. Shall complete the report with great determination, even if it takes me to finish up, without any proper meal for days.

However, definitely i need proper sleep.

************************************************************************

Been very forgetful these few days. It's as if I am suffering from some short-term memory loss. Was so forgetful that I was scolded by my dad on Sunday for being forgetful and inconsiderate..

I even forgot to take my handphone along with me to school yesterday. I almost thought I might have lost my handphone on the streets.

And probably it's only until then my parents realise that I am really forgetful.

I have been calculating in my mind of how to arrange and manage my time and priorities. I even dreamt of doing my FYP report.

This time, I think I am really stressed.

But I must correct my mistake of being forgetful whenever I am put under great pressure. Find my forgetfulness as a form of excuse. Otherwise such mistake might affect my performance in assessing/treating my patients if i am to graduate as a tcm practitioner in the future. Or even as an engineer.

********************************************************

OKi, what have i been doing the last weekend...

Havoc, should i say?

Saturday:

Attended a workshop in sch, and gotten myself a little dipsy and suffering from rash. =p

Followed by...

I skipped my TCM lesson cos....

3 highly eligible bachelors have jio-ed a highly eligible bachelorette for a dinner/supper in ECP.
hahhaa.. =p

Think it's my first time eating in ECP's hawker centre.

Had the famous satay bee-hoon, a big plate of chicken wings (yum yum), satay and gong gong (sea snails). YUM YUM...even though the wait for the bee-hoon was super duper long....

Din have the sea snails...kinda reminded me of those snails which I picked up and placed them in a safer travelling place.

Hhaa..nevertheless, it's been great catching up with these 3 gentlemen. Had enjoyed a lot of laughs...!! and definitely, my stress vanished instantly..! or at least at that moment.

GL, DT, SO and me..!! =D

Anyway, thanks SO for the disc..! The music are great..!!

haha..but i feel very pai seh...it's the second/third disc which i've taken from him... =p

*************************************************************************

hhaa...like what LA has sms-ed me juz now.

Shall share with all of you...

These are his words of encouragement:

"U only become stronger n wiser! =) men n women of greatness are tested all e time. =)"

haha..BRAVO, WELL-SAID..!! =)

Green Tea ice-cream which I had it with ZJ they all during the last meal gathering session.

Ta-DA..!

The second oreo cheesecake which i made, to relieve stress...

This time, it tasted better. But i still wasn't very satisfied with myself. =(

And KH has been bugging me to make cheesecake, to bring it to lab.
For days.
(-__-)

Dun know why he wanna try my cheesecake so much. Keeps using the reason of him being nice to take care of my 2 "sick" reactors for me. And keep making me feel very guilty if i were not to make cheesecake.

(-__-)

See my mood first la.

*********************************************

Been very stressful over the FYP report.

Dun like to write report..!!! =(

Think i've been very stressed recently, negative thoughts and memories keep pestering me.

ARG!!!!

Sometimes, i really hope i can suffer from some selective memory loss. Sometimes, i hate myself for having selectively good long-term memory power.

OKi, that sounds very pessimistic.

But ha..one thing i've learnt about myself from two of my frens.
"I never/hardly/rarely look stressed even if I am really stressed."

Hmm..think cos i've experienced more deadly stress before. So all these are still considered bearable and manageable to me.

oki, gonna go liao..need to 闭门修炼七七四十九天 。。。

A test tmr...

And I'm here, blogging away..

whahaha.. =p

I think i'm starting to slack..including my FYP...

I'm getting very slack, though my two reactors (my babies) which I'm going to write in my FYP report have "fallen ill" due to an experimental careless negligence.

=p

*********************************************

All i wanna concentrate now is to get a job as soon as possible.

Wanna work overseas, for 2 years.

Wanna get out of this place, for 2 years.

Feel that it's time for me to venture out.

Coping with loneliness overseas?

I'm not worried at all.
I've been used to being lonely. Even when I was attached.
Been kinda "trained" to know how to cope with loneliness and independence.

No matter what, I still wanna get out of this island.

Not just to make my resume to be more impressive.

But mainly, i just wanna get out of this place, and experience a country rich with artistic or serene culture.

With a professional camera as my sole company.
Taking photos of every moment which touches me at that instant.

And every night, sitting alone at the balcony by the window,
posting these moments and my feelings over here, to share with all of you.

Drinking a cup of hot cafe latte,
Sitting silently by the window,
Looking out,
just hoping that my inner feelings could connect with the person/people who appear in my mind at that instant...

Coming back to Singapore with an anxious longing for home,
coming back to my family who has been waiting for me,
with my mum cooking all my favourite home-cooked dishes and soups,
catching up with my younger brothers,
catching up with all my frens...

The bonds with everyone may seem to strengthen.

And probably by then, i may have grown to be a more different person -

someone who is better and more confident of herself,

ready to take up the responsibilities of being a good gf,

a good wife,

a good daughter-in-law,

or maybe even a good mother.

I really hope to experience the feel of working overseas.

"Dear Lord, please grant me a pair of wings so that I can fly, fly higher and further."

****************************************************

Think it's been a long time since i'm home for dinner with my family.

My mum cooked one of my favourite Cantonese soups. =)

Wanna learn how to cook home-dishes...cos i wanna my future family to experience the same blissful feeling as me.

"Probably, this is what a family is."

=)

****************************************************

Hmm..

Have you ever looked at your parents from their backs?
Or probably look at them when they are reading something?

Once, I saw my dad reading something.

Just watched him silently at that moment. For a short moment.

Realise how much white hair he has grown.
Reaslise that he has started to put on a pair of glasses.

Once, too,
I watched my mum silently.

Realise that she has more wrinkles on her face.
Realise that there is white hair on her head.

My parents have started to grow old.

Probably that's why I hate seeing medicine in the kitchen.
Bottles of medicine. regardless of its size.

Cos this seems to me that my parents are starting to grow old and their health may not be as good as they used to.

I dun know whether any of you do notice or realise the same thing as me.

But probably all of you could try.
Watching your parents silently.

And we will know how much time we have often lost/neglected in building a strong bond with them, just cos we are too preoccupied with our own agenda.

"Family is the basis of love."

*************************************************

I'm still loving to study TCM. =)

Though it's been tough trying to meddle with both degrees now, I can still find the synergy.

"I'm glad I've found Goal and Passion again."

Think it's been an extremely tiring day for me. Been working on my resume and cover letter again.

And i dislike online job application. So many categories to fill in.
(^*%$(!&@(*&%^&%#@IGEIOWYT(&!(^!*^@!(&)(^!)@%

=(

Guess i've a new stress therpy.

To make cheesecakes.

Currently, my task is to make a relatively nice oreo cheesecake - with the right mixture of oreo and cheese.

And of course, gonna work upon the presentation of the cake. whahaha.. =p

Hmm..kinda make myself sound lousy at making desserts. =p

But probably at least i find motivation in making a nice cheesecake. Jac has made her request of wanting to try mine. haa..

Made oreo cheesecake for the second time today.
Still can't find Philadelphia Cheese.. =(
So had bought a type of cheese whose ingredients seem close to Philadelphia Cheese's. Been doing some short research on the different types of cheese and their respective uses.

haha..sound like i've assigned to myself another Final Year Project (FYP) to do.

But sigh.. =( still wasn't very satisfied.
Though i've not tried the cake yet. =p
Think will try Starbucks' cheesecake in the future. Need to find out what makes a good cheesecake.

Arg...where's Philadelphia Cheese?!!!

**************************************************************

// Just some midnight sentimental thoughts //

For some anonymous reasons, I just feel happy when I feel I can do something which can cheer up people around me. Or i can do something which can make a positive difference in others' lives.

Putting others' happiness before mine.

However..

sometimes..i just feel i've neglected my own happiness.

And i learn that such negligence has a great price to pay.

I've paid once.

Hurt a lot.
But, ya.

(Dun wannna brood upon the old memories again).

(probably as a result, i've learnt to be more selfish nowadays.)

It feels great to sit in Starbucks.

Undisturbed.

With a cup of hot Cafe Latte,

a plate of Starbucks's Uglier Curry Puff (it's very yummy) ,

my laptop Lala,

while listening to jazz (the sound system was right below my seat).

hahhaa..nice nice nice...!!

I'm loving the every moment I spent my private time.

But guess it will be better if I could get to spend such quiet time with someone unique. Arg..whatever......(juz some casual thoughts)

And i love the customer service provided by Century Square's Starbucks. The people are really very friendly and polite. Jus simply make my evening session a brightful one. =)

Furthermore, the cafe plays jazz....ahhhhh... =))))

Got to see different types of people, and different types of couples, just by sitting there alone and silently... hahaa..

Felt so much relaxed even though I was reading up my FYP literature review.

And I simply love jazz. =)

Wednesday, 5th March:

Made no-bake oreo cheesecake for HM...

Wanted to give her a big surprise initially, but.....

KH let the cat out of the bag... (-__-)

hhaa..but HM gave me the feedback that the cake tasted pretty nice. LOL. =D

But making this cheesecake hasn't been easy. Can't find the particular brand's cream cheese and i ended up woking up early to travel almost the whole of Bedok, in search of this ingredient.

Decide to focus on making cheesecakes of different flavours. haha..cos think a number of my friends like to cheesecakes.. =p so in case if they make any request of wanting to try my home-made no-bake cheesecakes, then i can handle the requests more efficiently.

wahaha...sounded as if all my friends wanna try my cooking.. =p

But it does feel nice when the guys, especially HB and KH, keep asking to try my cheesecake..haha..at least i've some voluntary "guinea pigs"..whahahhahaha...!!

*****************************************

Going to be even more busy these few days.

Gonna try my FYP draft. ARG..!

I've not even started on anything when it's going to be due by 19th march..!!!

ARG...stupid idiot me.....!! =(

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HM..!!!!!!

There will be a BIG SURPRISE awaiting you tomorrow..!! =D

********************************************

hhaaa..FINALLY..!

The whole hoo-ha between the subject matter and me has finally finally come to a full-stop.

Yup, after talking to him about his hall play production, after finding out about his comments about the play, I even more confirm that he is not my cup of tea.

And

even KH is starting to believe my intuition about something which i've mentioned to him before.

Haa..see?

I am even more confident of my own intuition now.

And well, we'll see how things go. haha..i just keep quiet, not mentioning anything over here, and

"Let nature do its work." =)

*********************************************

But at that instant, the knowledge of my intuitive instinct has seemed to me a little dangerous.

Often, I fear this knowledge.

But then again,
I treasure this knowledge.

Maybe this is God's gift for me?
A gift to guide me along?
To protect me along the path of my life?

"Trust the voice within"
- Christina Aguilera's "The Voice Within"

*********************************************

Met up with LA for lunch. Been great catching up with him again, though i've to rush for a tutorial.

It's always nice to have conversations with him.

"My day's been made brighter and more optimistic."

***********************************************

Still thinking about the hall production. Trying to find some reasons to convince myself that it may still worth that $15.

Sigh.

After all attempts and efforts.

Reasons,

or even excuses,

I find naught.


Managed to find out more about the play "Nobody Nose". It's a modern day version of a french play "Cyrano de Bergerac" which was written in 1897 by Edmund Rostand based on the real life of the real Cyrano de Bergerac, and an adaptation of this short play "BIG NOSE (The Modern Day Cyrano".

You could check it out over here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyrano_de_Bergerac_%28play%29

Have managed to find the script to this french play. Realised that that's the style of how the play is protrayed - short crisp, often witty, exchanges of conversation among the characters. And definitely the quality of the dialogues is better.

And have managed to watch a clip of the movie version of "Cyrano de Bergerac" over youtube.com.
This play can be good.

But ah...the play which i watched last night still disappointed me greatly, and now it may disappoint me more. Cos it seems to me that this french play has been positively and greatly received. It's even an academic module to be studied in a literature class.

Thank goodness, I'm not going lab tmr and HM shall share her experience with the subject matter. hahaa..yeahh...

**********************************************

My this new student, WJ, who is WC's younger bro, is another cute student.

Enjoy teaching him. Laughed at all his silly ridiculous excuses.

haha..and as for WC, haha..he's a naughty one. Occassionally smiling cheekily at his younger bro.

**********************************************

Met up with ZJ they all..!! =D it's been great to have met them..!! haha..

And haa..going to meet them soon again..! so excited..!! =D

************************************************

Went for the subject matter's hall play production with HM, Jac and S. Managed to persuade them to go with me..whahaaa...

BUT...

sigh..what can i say about the play "Nobody Nose"?........

Here's the feedback collected from the 3 of them so far..

"Plot very stupid." "No plot" "Dun know what's going on" "weak plot"

Sigh.

Well...what can i say........hahaha...

Gonna think of how to say in a nicer way. =p
but then again, think the subject matter might guess that i will not be satisfied with the play.

But sigh.....my personal opinions of the play...so..ya..
1. Weak plot - There is little depth overall. It's just a simple plain romantic comedy. The plot development is poor.

2. Weak dialogue - The dialogues by each character show little depth, even though it is a comedy. It seems to me that the more dialogues they have for each character, the better to present this play. Which i feel that that is not necessarily true. I know I shouldn't be expecting Shakespeare humour. But oh well...

3. Weak character development - Couldn't see much of how each character develops through the play.

4. Weak acting skills - Only 2 people act pretty naturally and well. The rest....sigh...basically almost of them are crouching their backs. Which displays the vulnerability of their acting confidence. One of them din really use her heart to perform the character which she is playing, i can feel the inconfidence and restrain in her acting.

5. Considerably wrong arrangement for the interval - basically the 15 mins interval was arranged JUST PRIOR TO the ending of the play. I was like WOW.

6. Lack of climax build-up - Each scene transition is not well built-up and designed to create any specific climax. It just simply leaves the audience caught unpleasurely un-expected for its "hanging in the air" climax.


But well, one good thing about the play is - it's a comedy and i did laugh at most of the jokes. so ya....
And my favourite scence will be the opening scene. And that's all.

So you see? I really need to think of how to say all these to the subject matter in a less aggressive and more polite manner...

Cos really when I came out of the threatre, i was basically

"$*!&@R&E^)*YT*Q()*!@^#HWB_)(!)&(&^!*@!R^%$9284-7654265(*!_&^*%#87^!*%#^!%#&@*^$#$%#$#@!%$$%(*)_(**^%$%$#@$wyghkjbvhfd^$#$*())%$%#@!$%$%(*)+_^%"

yup.

Thank goodness, the subject matter din ask me for comments about the play on the spot. Otherwise i really ratter the terrible but true truth to him.

And this is my first time when I dun have to feel tired due to prolonged and enormous applause.

***********************************************

Something good happened to KH. hahaa..happy for him.

Read a ridiculous girl (not my fren)'s blog. It just gets my blood boiling. Feel like giving her a hard smack down. Super ridiculous of this ridiculous girl. And ya, she's a GIRL, though this GIRL is one year OLDER than me.

***********************************************

Anyway managed to find the script for the play "Nobody Nose".

http://www.geocities.com/pocolocoplayers/cyrano.html

Been habouring a lot of thoughts and worries inside my mind.

Family responsibilities, which i keep feeling that it seems i'm the only one who is having such a problem. Being the eldest among my siblings, many times, i just feel being tired of being the eldest. It's like I feel so different from the rest who are the eldest sibling.

There is a little tinge of 'jealousy' that they can go out and enjoy as much as they can. Gotten quite affected when the subject matter (who is the eldest sibling in his family too) told me that i must enjoy as much as i can, must experience many new things as much as possible.

Yet for me, I'm like fufillling some domestic KPI (Key Performance Indicator).

And by trying to keep up with the KPI, including my personal KPI, it's like working non-stop, 24-7. Even when I want to take a break, I can receive complaints from the boss (my parents).

So basically, my performance appraisals haven't been very good.

I also want to stay out late, I also want to enjoy life as much as I can.

But I just feel very restricted. And many times, I just feel extremely tired. Tired of being the eldest.

**********************************************

It hadn't been easy for me to step into that place.

Really.

But I guess it's time for me to face this 'fear'. Cos the more i run away from it, the more i feel fearful of it.

***********************************************

Meeting the S5 girls tomorrow..! yeah..! Can't wait to see them...! =)

***********************************************

It seems that a number of nasty things happened to friends around me.

Really hope that everything'll go on fine...

***********************************************

Going to lab tmr...

I'm becoming mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Yes..! Me no need go lab tomorrow..! =)

Been another busy day.

Got something cropped up at home and i had to cancel the day's pool outing with SE. Was very apologetic for the last minute cancellation of the outing.

Been in nasty mood these two days. Like what my family members have told me before, my mood is like the stock market. Almost sparked a fiery quarrel with my mum just now.

I dun know what could be wrong with me. Stress? Overwhelming with miscellaneous big and trifle agendas?

There are occasions when such inevitable feeling arises upon me - the more when i am with my friends, the more i feel lost and lonely.

Like what one of my frens remarked about me today, "Why are you so 孤僻?"

*********************************************

我想
我已开始习惯着孤僻。

孤僻
黯然地
安静地
和祥地
与我同行。

或许
孤僻已成了我的知己。

**********************************************

SIAN.

Changes in my plan for the month of June. =(

Feeling very upset.

SIGH.

********************************************

Was very frustrated over the purchase of the ticket to the subject matter's hall's play production.
Still trying to persuade HM to go with me.
I'm fine with going alone. But from HM's point of view, definitely the subject matter won't be so cruel to leave me alone.

Sigh. but if HM is really not going, i might as well not going too. Dun want make things difficult for the subject matter. Though i am really interested to find out how the quality of a hall production will be like.

HM....please go with me......pleaseee....

hahaa.. =p

********************************************

So many things to do. ARG.

YEah..!! Bought the ticket for the play "The Pillowman"..!! haha..will be going there alone, as usual.

******************************************

Encountered a fainting case in the train early in the morning.

Was glad that I was able to help the person. =)

Feel really great though it maybe considered a relatively minor case. But it seems that to the person, it's been of a great help to her. She thanked me several times. ahhaa..

But i realised in a train of many passengers, only one or two passengers will offer to help. Dun know it is cos they are helpless, or they just wanna remain cold towards the person.

It's important to know basic first aid.

And it definitely confirms my determination to financially sponsor my brother to learn CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation), in case I'll not away from home for a period of time and if anything nasty happened, at least there's immediate help.

******************************************

Been having nasty cold. ARG.

******************************************

Visited Lisa Ono's official website.

http://www.onolisa.com/main/index_e.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lisa_Ono

If there were to be any chance which she'll be opening a concert in singapore, definitely i will be one of the early birds to get the ticket..!
Wanna hear her sing live..!!

*********************************************

I need to be more strict with myself. Was kinda disappointed with my performance today and got myself affected the whole day.

But haa...nevertheless, managed to get "The Pillowman" ticket and the blouse which i've been eyeing for a long long time...!! hahaha...

Will wear the blouse to school one of the days, most probably on the days when i dun have to go lab. To avoid KH's teasings.. =p

WooOOo...busy the whole day..!!

Tuition in the morning.

Followed by a KTV session with my IA collaegue, Jas. Din get to meet CT as she's ill... =(


The KTV session was totally awesome..!!

Was sitting down properly to sing initially, so din really sing well. Then for some reasons or whatsoever, started to stand up and sing with Jas.
And started to sing rock songs..hahaa..and i was good..!! my vocal was kinda open for the first time..!!

Especially when we were singing Bon Jovi's "It's my Life", our loud vocals kinda attracted passers-by outside our room. whahaha..

Guess the stress in the lab gets the better of me. I was really singing at the top of my voice at the last one and a half hour, even Jas was amazed.

whahaha..!!

Later, met up with my TJC classmates for dinner in "Changing Appetite". Been a good catch-up session with many of them..! And even got to receive a good news that one of our classmates is married..!!! WOW...

haha..i wonder who'll be the next one.....hahaha...

Dev will be leaving Singapore for Australia, to continue his medical course study. Guess it's going to be quite some time later for the next meet-up.

Been a totally awesome day.

Especially the KTV session. It's my first time when I really opened up my vocal and SANG..!!!

LOL.

***********************************************

Arg. KH mentioned something to me again.

But it's okay.

Time will prove KH wrong and mine correct. =)

Finally finished Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray".

A brillant story plot filled of great depth and boldness.

Read about Wilde's history too. WOW.

All I could say is - such literature cannot be produced by an ordinary person.

This is a brief introduction of Oscar Wilde.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_Wilde

I'm in total awe. Reading the novel for the second time.

*********************************************

The performance by the Black Knights in Singapore Airshow was great..!
Managed to watch the video clip recorded by my bro who went for the event today.

*********************************************

Busy day again for tomorrow. Sigh.

*********************************************

Trying not to think so much about what's been going on in my mind these few days.

I'm getting tired of guessing this and that.

Why is nobody believing my intuition?!

=(

*********************************************

And when is my lab session going to end? I'm starting to feel fatigue. Sick and tired of things.

Been a very tiring day.

At least I did go for a short jog in the morning. Very happy. =D

Econ meeting today wasn't very effective to me. Partly cos of the vague description of the project.

Been listening to this song "會呼吸的痛" by Fish Leong. Love the lyrics.

Lab ended late as usual and I was not able to go for the Greek sculptures exhibition event held in National Museum. =(

Sigh.

****************************************

Getting very exhuasted by something.

Probably tat's why i still love the time when i can be alone by myself, or with a quiet friend.

That's when I feel I find the peaceful and calm side of myself. And probably the real side of me?

Probably this is human.

Solitude is the only time when you find the real you.

That's why many people dislike being alone, cos probably they are afraid of facing the real them.

Because each one of us possesses the picture of Dorian Gray.

It's a matter whether each of us wanna face this painting bravely or hide it in own's secret chamber and muse at it constantly.

*********************************************

YES...!!! The play "The Pillowman" is out again...!!!!

Yeah yeah yeah..!!

I am going to watch it, man...!! hahaha..have missed it the previous time. This time, going to get the ticket as soon as possible..!! Hmm..probably tomorrow..hahaha.. =p

must grab it fast before all the tickets are completely sold out..!

Synopsis:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pillowman

**************************************************

Yeah..!! My bro is going to help me with my FYP..!! haha..yeah..!! Love my bro lotsa sia..!!!

LOL.

Met up with LA for lunch today.

Was glad to have met him for a short catch-up session. Been in low mood in the morning and i was kinda enlightened by some of his advices and/or opinions. Felt a lot better after that. He's been a nice friend to talk to, though i used to have a terrible impression about him. But then, i see he's changed to a better person.

And again, he mentioned something which says real about myself.

But one thing for sure - I love to talk and listen to this friend. I often learn a lot about life and human inter-relationship from him, and he is a relatively patient listener.

*******************************************

After talking to HM and LA, i've decided to listen to their advices and shall not teach my ex-student, CX.

Need to leave some time for myself and my family.

*******************************************

Recess week next week...

Arg..goodness me..dun know whether i can have any good quality rest.

********************************************

Starting to take things easy. With the job which i'm intending to get..my schoolwork..my FYP...with those guy friends whom i've met and talked..with the subject matter...

Guess...i want to believe and hold faith that God has made plans for me.

What would the plan be? I have no idea. But at least I feel more at peace.

*******************************************

Read half of the book "The Picture of Dorian Gray". Wilde is a brillant writer. His philosophies about human nature, about the society, about marriages, about beauty are aggressively worthy to be reflected upon.

*******************************************

My TCM degree course is starting to get more hectic. For the next academic semester, will be having 4 evening lessons per week. And for the clinical attachment, will be having 5 evening attachments per week.

Goodness me....how i am going to handle? For clinical attachment, i am definitely gladful for the amount of days, cos this smells that i can get to learn more..! =D

But for the evening lessons.... (T_T)

I guess, i really need to find a guy who is very supportive of me taking this course, very understanding and patient.

Haa..well..i guess it's time to put an "ending" between the subject matter and me. hahaa..KH's finally stopped pestering him and me so often as before. Think partly cos both of us have told him privately about something.

YES.

And now, KH has shifted his attention to HM..!! whahhaa..goodness me..hahahaa...

In fact, I actually feel a lot better when i heard KH tell me about something.

The Excalibur.

*************************************************

Went to National Library. And borrowed a few books..! =D

Decided not to borrow any books of serious themes. Wanna immerse myself in showers of literary comfort.

Finally managed to find Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"..! Love the preface written by Wilde. Brillant.

Borrowed Arthur Miller's "I Don't Need You Any More" and "Death of a Salesman". Still can't find "After the Fall". =(

Guess I really have to stop finding for this play. Probably it will find me in the end.

*********************************************

Read RoNn's blog juz now. A pretty meaningful and encouraging piece of message.

http://www.r-o-n-n.blogspot.com/

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Guess HM and I were too tired after today's water membrane technology test.

I did a masterpiece, using the chemical used in glucose test.

TA DA...!!!!

..............

........................

.......................................

I shall call this masterpiece work - "Idiot".

hhaa..why i name this "Idiot"?

Well, i also dun know. I just feel like calling this work "Idiot".

Haa..!! That's why it's called art..! =p

*******************************************

Hope can visit St. Andrew's Cathedral again soon.

I'm starting to feel very confident about my intuition's capability. And I find it to be a little scary in some ways or another.

Many times, I just hope I dun have to look at myself and/or others with my heart. It can get very de-moralising and scary when things are within your predictions or analysis.

“你吃饱了没？”

The stupidest question which could ever been asked.

WHAHAHA..!

A super funny and another embarrassing day.

But I just try to take it easy after it.

***************************************

And hhaa..my ex-student, CX, is being posted to a JC..!! haha..her first 2 choices to poly entry have been rejected. haha..goodness me...what a system...

Anyway she wanna me to teach her JC maths..all i can say now - "goodness me..."

haha..glad to hear from her that she still wanna me to teach her for these coming 2 years. haha..! furthermore, JC maths..! haha..me feeling very honoured.

But still thinking whether to take up this job. Or if not, anyone out there wanna teach my student JC maths?

=p

ARG. I am seriously dead tired.

Can't think of how to present my ENS well. And very tired to rehearse my presentation part. ARG.

Seriously lacking of sleep, and i totally have no strength to present. ARG.

I AM DYING HERE...HELP....!!!! (T_T)

Heard about KH telling me something, and haa..guess there's a serious communication breakdown between the subject matter and me. But hmm..aiya, dun know la..i only feel that KH keeps pushing the subject matter...i mean if he's interested, he will take the initiative himself.

AIYO.

Anyway, a little nervous tmr la, tat's all i know. First time i've to do something. but hhaha..well...see how's tomorrow..

Seriously i dun know about this whole matter la..i juz know i've developed a phobia now, and i'll try to run away from the phobia and will do anything to avoid facing the phobia, even if were to betray my own true feelings.

It's the Excalibur which has been rooted in my grave of love.

Finally finished watching this thai movie "Citizen Dog" recommended by LA.

Very interesting film and I love the colour contrast between the movie background and each character. Hmm..the flow of the story is relatively slow, but the use of bright colours and comical exaggeration of each character's story simply draw me to continue watching the whole movie.

The quote which strikes me the most:

"The harder you search, the harder something is to find, but if you stop looking, it will find you."

=)

Probably this is what life is and how dreams are.

Love this movie. It just keeps me reflecting about dreams, about love, about life.

*********************************************

Managed to watch the korean movie "TIME". Finished the whole show. Yeah...

Another love-able movie of mine. Romantic tragedy. One of my favourite movie genres.

"We're all humans."

*********************************************

But i realise that these kind of movies often go around the idea of human fragility.

Maybe this is true.

Man has nothing to fear but to fear himself.

*********************************************

Been extremely tired. Slept for only 4 hours last night. And spent 21 bucks on a taxi fare juz to make it to school for sunday's lab. (T_T)

Fatigue. And it was only until not long ago that i finally thought of how to present my second ENS presentation. But was a little guilty cos i often think of better ideas at the last minute.

Talked to HB about topics on western and eastern medicine.

After today's talk, i realise that i still want to go into medical profession. Probably you'll say that i am stubborn.

Yes, for this, i am stubborn but i feel i am stubborn for the right reason.

In a dilemma these few days, i guess. On one hand, i wanna go overseas to work for 2 years. working overseas, especially in Europe, would be great and i can experience a totally different living style. Here's too boring for me. Coping with loneliness overseas? i guess i can cope it well. so for tat, i never worry.

But on the other hand, i wanna hold a decent 9-to-5 job so that i can focus on my TCM degree while at the same time, i can take up night-time art courses in NAFA.

SIGH.

Well, the most urgent thing for me is to focus on my last semester and do well.

So, trying to put all those thoughts aside for a while.

oki, gonna go sleep. lesson early in the morning later. *YAWN*

Another busy day for me. SIGH.

Was extremely fatigue that i almost wanted to faint in the lab. Been sleeping late and waking up early - basically lack of sleep. And I start to talk jibberish again. Been walking up and down in the lab, and i had little food before that. Partly no appetite to eat and busy to eat so much.

Had a little incident in the lab. Was a little angry with one schoolmate. One thing which i learnt - if i had a chance to do business, definitely not going to approach her for any business deal.

Anyway the lab ended well, cos HB bought 捞起..!! haha..and a lot of laughter, partly cos I had made a wish of wanting to grow taller... (T_T)

Lab on weekends again..ARG.....!!!!! and i have to go on sun, which falls on the same day when i need to teach tuition too..!! (T_T)

Din get to chill out in cafe. (-__-) lab ended late as usual.

SIGH. =(

I'm starting to feel burnt out......

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My Water Membrance Technology lecturer is very cute today..!!! whahaha..!!
His facial expression was so cute when he heard the Total Defence Day's siren. He was like very frightened...and he even went out of the lecture room to take a look. whahaha..!!!

He's very very very cute...!!! ahhhhhh...... =p

but he's going to stop teaching his part and another lecturer will take over the module soon. ARG. Furthermore, i dun like the lecturer who is going to teach the later part of the module.

*****************************************

Very tired. And could feel myself developing negative thoughts and moods again. I wanna have a good rest again.... =(

wanna cry....i am really very tired... =(

Got this from LA..! He made it himself..! hahaha..it's pretty well-made and i really appreciate this card alot..! Has pretty nice writing and i appreciate what he's written inside the card..haa..thanks again, LA..!

Anyway, i'm not the only one who receives cards made by him, so yup, juz for all your information. whahaha..!!

A paper flower made by my classmate..!! haha..i was pretty surprised that there are still people who will make such gift on a day like this..! I like it alot..!!!

Today was started pretty well cos i received a home-made card from LA. But the day turned kinda greyish to me when i met up with JY for lunch. Was kinda reminded of the past. sigh.

As usual, lab ended late, and i got to rush for my TCM lesson again. Was extremely fatigue the whole day..and i almost wanna cry on my way to TCM lesson..i was really very tired....yet i need to push myself to go for the lesson. Thank goodness, the class was fun, and my classmate gave me a paper flower..!! =D

As usual, my 医古文 teacher went out of the point several times....ARG.....i ended up talking to to my classmate, HWM..and she started sending me funny sms-es even though we were sitting next to each other..!!

Basically we were totally bored of her out-of-point lecture.

******************************************

Started to look at this day in different colours. In a day, today, I've seen a lot of things. Out of love (temporary, i believe), rejection, friendship, awkwardness, confusion, relief....

Seriously, like what i heard EFF ask this question before in the lab - "Who invented this day?!"

HAHA...

******************************************

However, after looking at things today, i feel my decision and perception is right afterall.

OKi, people...haha..this is the photo which Tjhin and I have been discussing over the tagboard. hahhaa..yup, this is the Miss Ha Tay..!! whom Tjhin and I have named her. Haa..cos both of us find her to be very pretty, considerably the prettiest girl in tat primary school..hahhaha...

think we managed to notice her partly cos both of us were holding our cameras, snapping shots and videos of the kids in Kim Bai Primary..so haha..got to notice this girl by coincidence? hahhaa..



Came across another possibly great film on Arts Central.





http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk_to_Her





Wanna catch this film this sunday night at 10pm..!! Think it's going to be nice..!! haha..!

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ZJ and her bf came to visit HM, KH and I in the lab today..!! Was very surprised and happy when I saw ZJ in the lab..!! haha..cos she din inform us that she's coming..! haha..it's great to see her..!! =D





And again, started complaining to ZJ and her bf about KH. Complained that KH keeps bullying and teasing me... =p





But ok la, this friend KH is considered nice, cos he offered to help with some experiment testings so that i could make it for my TCM lesson. So, ok la, for this once, he is nice la..hahhaa..

****************************************

Hopefully, can post something here in time tomorrow.

****************************************

Photos photos taken today in City Hall, Esplanade, Marina Square

Din get to meet up with my buddy, so ended up killing time alone in Esplanade.

And came across performances. For this sch...hmm...not very well-sung...

I've difficulty in trying to appreciate their singings.

Hhaa..but i like the teacher conductor..hahahhaa..my type..

LOL..ARG..!!

Next, the uncles stepped in. Their voices are pretty good..!!

Another choir stepped in. Heard they were once invited to Fusan arts festival..something like tat//hhaa..

Then went to Marina Square's "Gloria Jean's" to chill out..read my book...stone...ahaha..nice nice...it's been a long time since i did that...

Went up to the rooftop of Marina Square, and took a few photos...

Went to watch this piece of dance alone. Was not aware that it's supposed to be a dance. Thought it was a short play. Paid $40 for the dance on the spot. And it was only until when i stepped into the threatre, i realised that it's actually a dance. And this piece was premiered at the Berlin Arts Festival in 2004..!! haha...wow..

I am a total noob in contemporary artistic dance. but this piece lives up to its name and fame. And i can understand what's going on throughout the whole piece. It is totally AWESOME..!!

It's like a play being presented in a form of dance.

The lightings, the music tempo, the buildup of climate and creation of different atmospheres, the intensity of internal struggle experienced...the way how the dancers dance..

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO...!! Afterall, it's worth the 40 bucks. It's brillant, intensively emotional, sensational..!!!

haa..n i got to interact a little with a guy foreigner..haha..but arg..! no follow-up.! hahaha.. :p

But not telling my parents tat i actually went to watch such a show. First, waste of $$ and secondly, they will be shocked to know their daughter is actually watching such genre. hahah.. =p

So, i must earn lotsa money so that i can afford to go watch these in the future. The arts industry in Singapore is growing and i'm starting to see more excellent art works and performances introduced into the local arts industry..

Yeah..!! =D

Bought this bossa nova album in city hall's HMV. A brillant album...! Her voice is very good..!! enormously better than Oliva Ong. The way she sings these songs is very relaxing....nice nice nice......

Love these few tracks which i've uploaded here. Do take the time to listen. Her voice is good...and the music is so so so relaxing..

Definitely love to listen this album in the night...especially when u are sitting alone quietly in the bus / car, looking out of the window..

This album is awesome...

The whole day was very well-spent, though was kinda "fly pigeon"...hhaa.. :p And at last i went back to St. Andrew's Cathedral, not to do project but to reflect and pray.

Cos was kinda angry with my mum...she had kidnapped my laptop Lala...!! ARG...!!! and i can't upload some photos which i've saved in Lala.. (T_T)

2nd day

2nd day of the Mouse year..and I slept till late..hahaha..it's been a very long time since i woke up late...hahaa..

Been listening to this song (yes, the one which is uploaded here).

Find this song very soothing...for some reasons, I've been listening to this song non-stop for several days.. =p

Stayed at the home the whole day. My house is, as usual, always that noisy. It's good to have a family of 5, but sometimes it can get really noisy..

That's why i like being alone at times, blogging, listening to music at night...

If one day, if i had the chance to stay overnight in a chalet, especially those chalets near the beaches, I definitely wanna make my way down to the beach in the middle of the night, bring along my mp3 player, listen to jazz while enjoying the sea breeze..looking up the night sky...and if emotions and sentiments evoke, shall do some sand drawings, like what i did once in my jc years.

jus wanna be alone at that moment. alone with myself, the sea and God. and probably with someone special? hhaa.. craps..

********************************************

Meetup with my buddy, HL tmr after lab..! wonder how he's been nowadays.....

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My dad cooked dinner today..!! =D

Loved the way how he arranged the food on the bowl..!! I din manage to take photo of the bowl, cos i'm too hungry to bother about taking my camera phone from my room to the dining room.

It's something like how Japansese arrange the sushi in the lunch box..! It's very neat and well-presented..! haha..and i enjoyed eating the dinner today..! in extremely good appetite, partly cos my dad cooks and makes the effort to present the food beautifully.. (^^)

hmm..but a small portion of my good appetite was - i'm already starving. =p

Probably this is what parents are. Sometimes they can really make us mad about them - their long-winded nags...their never-ending and always-unsatisfactory complaints about us....all the ridiculous quarrels with them..

But when they do something which looks so simple, they juz make us feel loved and blessed.

At that instant, I just love my parents a lot. (^^)

HAPPY RATTY YEar..!! =D

The first day of the Rat year...and guess what i saw outside my room window?

Someone taking photos of his own car..trying to torture his "wife" in the hot sun and he himself bathed in the warmth of the shade.

What a man. =p

Love the sky today...it's very lovely... =)

I always love the sky...Everytime when i look up at the sky, i just can't help saying in my heart how much I thank and love God.

Love this jeep. Very cool..!

Went for a house visit. Basically, my two brothers were the front-line soldiers.

They volunteered their duty to clear the "debris" (tibits) of the battlefield (tibit tray).

As for me, i am still having cough. And was pretty upset when i was not allowed to take soft drinks due to my cough. Ended up having no mood to eat much. (T_T)

I am still very pleased with my hair cut. hahaha..!! DLY and YS remarked that it's nicely cut..!! and the only person who din remark anything about my new hair cut was LA. (-_-) but ok la, at least he said something which made me smile for a moment. so ok la, can forgive him for not making any comment about my hair cut. WHAHA..!!

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""I really feel I'm blessed. There are many people around me who constantly inspire me, especially these few - LA, M, Ronn..and my ex-tuition student, CX."- Man Sze

P.S- these are words can encourgage and inspire me too, affirmations.thank you Man Sze. haha. means alot. surprises me too ;-) -RoNn"

Read this from RoNn's blog. (^^) hhaa..was very happy reading this..haa..me touched touched..hahaha..!!

*****************************************

Been uploading some photos which i went for community service in vietnam, on facebook..brought back many wonderful memories..i miss the 2006 Chia Se team a lot....and i miss the Kim Bai kids over in Ha Tay...

And I love this photo very much. Photo taken by Tjhin..

Guess this is the best smile i ever see upon myself on photos, after the breakup. WHAHA..! :p

Hmm..suddenly have this urge and decision...

Will be disclosing this blog to everyone in my msn..

For what reasons..i've no idea..probably i wanna people around me to know the real me and let them decide whether to accept me as their friend? That I'm not a perfect person, though i've been trying to be as perfect as possible...which is like sooo..impossible at several times..and very often, I'm never a perfect daughter to my parents. To them, I am a total workaholic now, who has little time for family.

Probably i wanna be a living inspiration to people around me? As in letting others know that they are not alone afterall, they are not facing their problems alone...

Still doing up research on the upcoming section which is going to be introduced into this blog..really wonder how the responses will be like.

hmm..think i'm starting to get sentimental right now, in the middle of the night..haha.. =p

Recently, always been developing some feelings for rainy days, especially when they come in heavy pour. And I kinda agree with what LA had told me before - to the japanese, rain is a form of purification.
Everytime when I reflect upon what he mentioned about this, I totally agree. Two consecutive days of heavy downpour when that piece of news came crashing upon me - it's a form of purification. It's God's way of comforting me that it's time to start afresh, to start anew. =)

And right now, I am still thinking what God has planned for me. Am I really going to have my dream fulfilled in the long run? Can I really provide professional medical care to the patients and/or friends and family around me?

One thing for sure - no matter how long this dream of being a doctor (regardless of being western or eastern medical) will take me to fulfill, I will press on.

I've been fighting for this dream since sec 2. Even if one day I were to fall again, I am going to pick myself up fast.

Like what M puts in his msn, "When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep walking."

I am one of the real people.

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I really feel I'm blessed. There are many people around me who constantly inspire me, especially these few - LA, M, Ronn..and my ex-tuition student, CX.

=)

Photos..!! =D

Cake given by my research student, HB..! YUM YUM...CHOCOLATEY cake..!! ahhaa..

The chinese restaurant in Calton's Hotel. Where I had "reunion dinner" with the gang..haha..

One of the pubs in CHIJMES...too bad there's no live jazz band.. =(

The Singapore Sling..which tastes fruity and made me sip non-stop..ended up myself feeling so sleepy..haha..but glad that I can still walk straight and totally sober. But weird thing was that, my nose felt numb after drinking it. =p

haa..then got myself rash the next day..think cos i had red wine for my family's reunion dinner, alcohol content accumulation, i guess? hhaha.. =p

AHHHH....what should I say about the reunion dinner with my NTU gang and KH's gang....?

Hmmm...pressurising...stressful.........hahahaha...

Have taken a few photos there..probably try uploading here the next blog..sth's wrong with the thingy..
haha..

Anyway...AHh...this KH.......i really wanna beat him....he kept teasing me n the subject matter over the table...and still made us take photo...and AH.....it's the most embarrassing moment la...the moment was kinda noisy too, which kinda attracted the people around us...and some actually tried to check out what's going on...

(-_-) AHHHhH....

Made me super super super embarrassed......AHHHh...

Oki, back to the food section.
The food over there was pretty alright. It's a chinese restaurant at Calton Hotel.

Thank goodness, KH left after the dinner and the rest of us headed for a drink at a pub in CHIJMES. Ordered Singapore Sling cocktail...and I kept drinking it non-stop as it was pretty fruity...ended up myself feeling fatigue and stoned there for a while. I was pretty glad that my liver is functioning well, performing the detoxication at its optimum efficiency. haha..Just after going to the toilet twice, I was pretty sober now. And yup, right now, I can still have the energy and the soberness to write this blog. But made myself a cup of drink to remove any hangover, for my health's purpose. hahaa..

Guess i still prefer going to jazz pubs and drink red wine. I prefer this kind of lifestyle..
hhaa...

But definitely, I've kinda recovered from the embarrassing moment. And juz take it easy and not reading into it much. One thing I have to keep constantly reminding myself - I cannot be tied up again during this period. No way, man. And i'm going to make sure that i pass this test which God probably tries to put me through again.

Been sleeping early and waking up early. =)

And finally today, I had pulled myself up from bed to jog.

Been saying "no" to late nights nowadays.

Think will continue leading such lifestyle.

And yeah..!! Dun have to go lab on the CNY's eve..!! YEAH..!! so happy happy...! =D

Lab today. HM joined in the teasing. (-_-)
ARG....all cos of KH..!! ARG...!!!
Really hope I'll have a peaceful "reunion dinner" on tuesday with this group of friends...PLEASE..............

And good news..!! my ex-tuition student, WC, sms-ed me this evening, informing that he would like me to teach his younger brother tuition..!! YEAH..!! And his mother had agreed to my deal..!! hhaa..

which means I will be busier than ever. But I dun really care. Right now, I just want to keep myself as occupied as possible.

However, I've not told my parents about this piece of news yet. =p
Think they'll freak out. hahhaha....cos even right now, without any tuition, I am already very busy with studies, projects, FYP, TCM....

Oh ya, managed to have my hair cut yesterday..!! hhaa..only have it cut for 12 bucks..! haha..wanna save money and the travelling time.
Hmm..well, it turns out pretty good. I kinda love the hairstyle now. =)
It's a little different...haha..even HB and HM remarked that it does really look different.

haa..yup. It's going to be a brand new year and I wanna have a brand new hair look.
And a brand new lifestyle.

Hope everything's going smoothly for me........

TIME

Watched the first 30 minutes of the Korean film "TIME" directed by Kim Ki-Duk.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zQE-CSzodg
Synopsis of the movie: http://www.seoulselection.com/screening_dvd_view.html?pid=1200
Kim Ki-Duk's brief profile: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Ki-Duk

It's superb.

How the female character is paranoid of the whole relationship, how her emotional insecurity leads to paranoid behaviour and drastic measure to go for a plastic surgery.

How the devil of love can cause such harm to couples.

How events can twist when the woman loves her bf more than her bf loves her and decides to take drastic measure to leave him before he leaves her.

It's all been clearly presented.

Quite often, in a scary way.

It maybe only that 30 minutes after the show starts, but it's good enough for me to stick my butt on the sofa.

The movie evokes a very strong theme of human insecurity and loneliness. To me, it's a form of mockery of human being defeated heavily by own's insecurity and loneliness. Just within that first 30 mins, the quote "We're just humans." has repeated twice.

The 7 sins, I believe?

But definitely, insecurity drives people taking drastic measures to secure themselves emotionally and mentally. And loneliness lures people trying to find means and ways to fill up that hole. It may not be intentional, but it's the subsconsiousness which controls the thoughts and behaviours of human.

Ha..and this shows how fragile human can be.

Maybe I prefer hearing "We're just humans." as a form of excusable reason.

Borrowing books in library today was almost like doing some last-minute frantic shopping.

Managed to grab a few books just before the library closed.

Phew.

But din manage to find "The Picture of Dorian Gray". Been borrowed by others.

(T_T)

Can't believe myself to be busy to the extent tat i could only spend 10 to 15 mins in the library. Before the library closed.

AH.

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Manged to catch the trailer "The Leap Years"...

Looks good to me. But definitely another chick flick show. Romantic tragedy, I guess. Another stupid girl waiting stupidly for a guy.

Probably will watch it.

Yeah, the korean movie "Time" will be broadcast over Arts Central this Sunday..! Wanna watch it...a romantic tragedy. Another stupid girl trying to change her external appearance, juz hoping her bf will love her more, and not get bored of her.

That's why it'll be better to be loved than to love.

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YAWN~~~ So sleepy now....Sigh, still need to go sch on sunday for lab..sigh.. =(

DIstortion of thoughts

Been very tired recently..Fallen asleep during my tcm lessons juz now.. =(

Recently been always arriving late for tcm lessons.. =( Lab always ends late, and I always need to rush for the lessons, without stopping at any take-away kiosk to get some decent finger-food.

And i realised today how much my appetite has deteriorated. My stomach's not taking in much food as it used to. Been wasting food recently cos I could not finish it up. =(
Feeling very guilty, every time when I waste food. =(

Starting to get quite sick of the whole subject matter thingy and the "crazy over guys" mood...KH still teases me as usual, though not as intensive as before. But i find the subject matter quite poor thing...he's always kinda being left out of the lab group...

Haa..dun know why recently, received sms-es which kinda surprise me gladly..whhahaa..

Can't feel the Chinese New Year mood at all. I'm kinda mentally prepared to spend the eve with my research student. and gonna go back sch for lab during the 3rd or 4th day of the New Year. =(

SIAN AH......

But been glad that i often wake up early. And always can feel the energy of going to school.

Yet I'm feeling I'm lagging........AHh....especially my TCM stuff....AHHhHHh...
I wanna do well in TCM...I wanna take good care of the people around me..wanna take good care of the patients...

Yeah..going to National Library again...!! Yeah..! i love libraries..!! but provided they have good books..hahaha...
wanna find Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"...!!

Tired tired tired tired......

But i still love what i'm doing now. At least I feel I've spent my time well and fruitfully.

Can't wait to step into the working world...and hope I can get my ideal job...and hopefully my social circle will expand even more.

Sigh. My Sunday's been burnt by FYP. Again.

=(

Din even have any chance to rest at all.

And I din even have any time to exercise..! ARG..!

And I have not bought my CNY clothes yet..! ARG..!

And now my school lecture notes are in a mess..! Din even have any chance to organise them!

ARG...!

ARG...!

=(

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Still trying to improvise the ENS script..Sigh..Hopefully everything'll turn out fine...

Been 4 yrs since I did such planning.

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Yes, gotten a permission to do something on my blog..!

So, oki, my dear readers, do start looking out for a new section over my blog..!! =D

I am so excited..!! Hee..wanting to take this as a form of leisure and academic get-away. haha..!!

But need all ur feedbacks more in the future..! =)))

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Something's been wrong with me. I've been always so happy with the idea of wedding.

In fact, I'm scared at the thought of me being so happy. Cos it seems to be a prelude to something bad which might happen.

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Sigh. Sch tmr...SO SIAN..................

I have not taken any long break or rest yet....

and i need to spend so much on tcm assessment books and reference book...and still waiting for the books to arrive..ARG......

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Haa..my student, CX, was very sweet today. ahaa..probably i've been giving some motivational talks to her, and even today, a spiritual talk (guess it's attributed to today being Sunday).

This was the last msg which she sms-ed me today..

"Wa your english suddenly so good! Haa. Okay lor. I think I go poly. Cuz I really confident in poly. JC really cant. Not cut out for it. Thanks man love u La!"

hhaa..first time a student confesses her love to me..!! WHAHHAHAA...

Really, this student inspires and teaches me something about life. =)

And I really thank God for loving me so much. He has brought many nice people to me, always there to tell me that life's still beautiful. And He always seems to be there to protect me. =)

Eventful day today. hhaa...

Went to do my Engineering & Society (ENS) project with my project mates. Made our way to St. Andrew's Cathedral.

And I simply love the church when I step into it..!
It feels peaceful when i step into it. It feels very comfortable to me.
Will go visit there when I need some time to reflect upon things. =)

When we reached there, there were a few people who seemed to be preparing for a wedding ceremony.
It feels so sweet..I wanna to hold my wedding ceremony there too....... =))))

Well, think the wedding atmosphere and the movie "27 Dresses" seem to blow over my mind. I was so blindfolded by the whole wedding feel that I tried to walk a short distance down the aisle, like a bride. Haa...I juz wanted to know how it feels like to walk along this aisle when you are getting married to someone who is willing to share his life with u.

And i can tell u - it feels really great. It juz feels blissful. I dun know why, but it feels fabulous..haha.. =)

This is bad. "27 Dresses" has blown my rational mind away.

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Happened to come across the "Vintage Cars Exhibition" held in National Library.

Very awesome cars..took a few photos but I din manage to upload them here. Will try showing u all tomorrow.

haha... =p

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Hopefully my ENS project will be presented well. I managed to think and suggest of how to present it and hopefully it'll turn out fine.

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Talked to one of my students, CX, juz now. And she's decided to go poly to pursue her dream course.

I am happy and proud of her.

I just hope that she will keep her faith n determination burning. =)

My intuition just tells me that she'll succeed in life, with her strong and determined attitude.

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Met a weird uncle in the afternoon, under my block.

He blocked me with his bicycle, and started to tell me weird stuff, which later I realised that it's kinda uncomfortable to listen to his insane rubbish.

Basically, i felt being verbally sexually harassed at that instant. =( And definitely I confirmed that he might be insane in some way or another.

Thank goodness, I quickly shook him off and hurried home. I was scared with the idea tat he'll follow me and grab me out of a sudden from my back.

What an afternoon. ARG.

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Watched the last part of "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" directed by George Clooney.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessions_of_a_dangerous_mind

Very interesting way of presenting the story. Love the way how the plot flows and how Director Clooney protrays the confessions made by the main character.

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As usual, tcm history lesson's a total bore. One of my classmates actually fell deeply asleep in class. And the way he slept was kinda funny. However, thank goodness, he din snore. hahhahaa..! =p

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ARG. Sch on a sunday afternoon. ARg..!!

Need to start chiong-ing my studies - both tcm n school. I'm starting to feel the lag and the emptiness.

YAWN...So sleepy sia....

Still have not written the script for the ENS presentation...argggg........

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And hhaa..found another wanna-read novel..!!

Wanting to buy Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray"..!!! Happened to come across this title when I was reading an article in LEXEAN's Feb 2007 issue.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray

Brillant themes..

I wanna read...!!!! Hopefully can find it in National Library.....hahha...!