有心无力。

later in the evening, it'll be the last paper for NTU side..can't wait for it to end..but was kinda nervous of what the paper would be like...there's only one past year paper..and it's still a little difficult to predict the style..

sigh..

din really get to study human anatomy for the past few days...starting to get a little worried..this sat's the paper..!! arg..and i still need to go back sch for lab on wed... (T_T) feel like getting a cab to return home from lab on wed...

for some reasons or rather, gotten a little moody right now...think i find it torturing to study for exams...but what to do..? juz have to press on....

probably partly my sch life's going to end soon..and going to embark on a new phase of my life - work life..i never like working..1, cannot skip work as and when you feel like..2, working 9 to 5 is a super bore..3, cannot sleep and wake up late...4, office politics, which is inevitable even if you know how to perform tai-ji..

never been so lost before...used to have very fixed goals in the past..but as for now, hmmm..i am getting worried and paranoid of what job to get, and whether i can get it...and worst of all, i wanna work in my attachment company, but i am very worried about myself when i read one of their requisites "good honour degree" (T_T)....

did try to express my this concern to my parents..and they tried to assure me to be more confident of myself..sigh..but i am only worried about the initial stage..to get selected for the interview and being successfully recruited into the company...
i am not worried about my working capabilities, in fact, i am pretty confident..but it's just that initial step which i am very very worried and extremely paranoid...

i've been through that kind of worrying stage before..admission results for university...attachment results for attachment company...

i'm really very sick of myself going through such stage...it's very mentally torturing...

有心无力。

somehow this feeling's been very strong within me this year...