tink i'm really carrying too many responsibilities...
went back to SAC this afternoon..realise things are not working the way i'm expecting..kinda feeling disappointed n demoralised...sigh...
realised that i have no time for SAC anymore..they need officers to go back to help them, to advise them...sigh..times have really changed..i thought SAC can still do without officers. But well, i've been too naive. I have my vice-president suffering from almost depression n i have no idea on how to help her. Cos i know myself that i can't find any time to tend to these matters anymore....
i dun know la..but i feel like leaving them alone..let them learn to survive without officers...i juz hope SAC will have one good leader coming back to be an officer..
cos of the insufficient time i can put on SAC, i feel i'm a terrible leader..i can't make changes.. T_T
Actually i believe i can do it, but time is the major factor. And not only that, i have high expectations, so tend to set high standards for the others. But the thing is, not everyone will want to follow..sigh...terrible...
Maybe i will go back next year to join the NCOC again as a platoon commander. I feel i can train the cadets more efficiently to be leaders...though there are times when i doubt about my leadership qualities. SIGH...
Anyway, i realise i am still looking for what i really want in life. Taking charge of SAC is no longer what i really want. What i want is to help the community, to be able to perfom first aid, to do voluntary work..
Juz realise i have one officer friend who also joins both st john n red cross ^_^ hhee...afterall, i feel i'm not alone.. ^_^ i feel more motivated now..hhaaa..
I really hope i can get many public duties from st john n red cross..i really want badly....
