decided to give myself a good break - not teaching tuition tmr.. =) yeah...

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met AG today before the lesson..felt much more better and happier when i get to see him..

but he's still not feeling and i'm still kinda worried..but not as worried as this morning..

Clinical attachment yesterday..nothing much ..but have the chance to see the same few patients..

realise there is a family who practically came as the whole to seek my teacher's consultation..but i believe the main patient is their 4-5 yr old son..what touches me is the family's love for each other..the way how the young parents teaches their children..can see how much the parents have communicated with each other that they have no problem managing their children during the consultation (the kids kinda scared of needles..haa..)

learnt that it is really not easy to be mother, even during the 9 months of pregnancy. Every step towards pregancy, during pregnancy, and even during birth, can strongly affect the aftermath development of the baby/child.

Probably that's one thing which makes me want to lead a healthy lifestyle. And I wish I could influence my closed ones (especially AG) too..

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AG has not been feeling well and it worries me. And I feel useless cos I keep feeling I'm a total nag to him..i've been nagging the same advice to ask him kick off that unhealthy habit. Yet I can't do anything..I can't drag him to see my teacher cos he'll be angry and doesn't like the smell of herbs and acupuncture needles..I can't treat him cos i'm still a student, i'm not allowed to do any professional treatment... yet i have seen positive effects in my teacher's patients..and i can't do anything, and only nag...yet i dun dare to nag so much cos i'm scared that i'll irritate him (i've irritated him quite s few times)..


i'm feeling very useless...everytime when i think of how helpless i can get and can't take care of him well, i can't help tearing..


and i'm starting to feel the same old thing again..why i did not manage to do well in my JC times..Am i really that incapable as the rest? why can't i get into a medical school cos of my results? why can't i be a western and tcm doctor..? with both areas of medical capabilities, i believe that that can help me to push my ideals forward much stronger and more effectively...

and maybe at least AG will listen to me..?


early in the morning, i'm already feeling useless...that's a terrible start..


meeting him later before going for my evening lesson..

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yesterday's clinical attachment's been a stressful one..can see that 2 of my students have some tcm background and they have always in touch with this area..and i'm feeling so incapable...i felt sooooo terrible..i still dun know many many things... (T__T)


keep thinking to myself that how can i excel when i'm working in a total different environment?


but according to my teacher, he said that i'm still very young...so can still learn from the experienced tcm practitioners..and it takes the minimum of 10 years to be highly skilled in this regime..a success path which seems to be very different from the western medical regime.

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and gosh...one work event has to clash with my exam period... (T_T) can't have it changed cos of the availability of my big boss's schedule..but this time, i wanna be involved on that day, i dun wanna the 2nd time to feel myself being part of the planning stage but out of the implementation stage.

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think i'm really very stressed up right now..can't help tearing away as i write this post..but at least i feel slightly better..


but it seems to come to a stage where in my romantic r/s, i rarely share my stress with AG..i dun wanna AG to feel that he's a burden to my study..i've learnt to solve my own stress problem myself and avoid myself from incorporating my stress to strain the r/s..


meeting AG later.. =)

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i feel so stressed up..and i start to feel really lousy about myself...but i still have to nag to AG, i feel the urgency to help him kick off the habit cos i strongly in "prevention is better than cure"..and i dun wanna the situation that if we were to get married and he's keeping the habit, i'm scared i'll become a young widow..i'm not interested in inheriting big money at all..but i'm very scared that my marriage life will just continue without him, it'll feel lonely and unfulfilling...

dun know why i'm so pessismistic right now..probably i'm really very stressed up..exams in one month's time and i'm feeling myself a big nag and irritant to AG cos i keep nagging and i can feel very strongly that he's ignoring my nag...

but i'll still nag no matter what, as long as he's not kicked off the habit and not taking care of his health..i still wanna take good care of him, treat him well, as long as i'm in this r/s, until the day when he feels i'm a total bug to him and decides to dump me for another person who can tolerate his habit better than me, or share the same habit as him..i'll prefer him to dunp me before marriage than during marriage when he realises that i can be such a nag..

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It's the last day of internship for the intern (the one who was in the same sec sch as DLY)...

Overall, he did relatively well..and i can't deny my director's selection..

He said he's learnt a lot from us....and now, kinda reflecting upon myself - what have i learnt from this intern?

probably one big thing which i've learnt from him - his passion and optimism to learn as many things as possible..and his proactiveness..

haha..ok, end of my reflection of the day. =p

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Was watching this documentary "The Human Spirit" shown in Okto channel..great documentary..it shows the wonder of self-preseverance..the "wonder" of medical technology and the "wonder" of God..the amazement of human body..it's brillant..awes me totally..

This week's episode "Living with half a brain" is inspiring and motivational..the faith of the parents in believing that their children will lead a better life after going through operation. It's really amazing how a parent's belief can affect the child's self-belief and recovery in any way - psychological, emotional and pyschiology.

And again, it's really amazing and fabulous to see God's greatest work of all - human body. How a brain which loses its half can adjust itself and eventually how it manages the whole body movement..

fabulous..and it makes me love God more in His greatest way and have stronger faith in Him.

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Came across this advertisement by chance..it's a TV commerical launched by the MCYS. Love this as it talks about the imperfection of two people which makes the marriage perfect. And it's trying to persuade/urge people - look, listen, feel and manage a marriage with your heart.

Small things, it seems, are the sweetest imperfection in a marriage life.
Then again, it's the sensitivity which makes one appreciate these subtleness.

Enjoy~! It's very touching... =)



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haaa...wanna saw this film "Half Nelson"..the plot looks interesting.. =)

Somehow i was reminded that i want to watch this movie "mona lisa smile"..

hee..was very fascinated by the story..and ended up giving up playing guitar hero world tour and watched this instead..

the movie reminds me of my adolescence being brought up and highly influenced in a convent school..i miss SAC...

hhee..loves this movie cos it promotes feminism..hhhaha..it's pretty jane austen kind of movie..
and well, kinda reminds me of Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" and knowing about Leonardo da Vinci which have a very strong influence on me..in being what kind of lady i wanna be and what kind of guy i am looking into..hee hee...

hhaa..loves this movie..nice nice nice..

haa..wanna watch "dead poet society" next time..

have watched the new version of "pride and prejudice" movie before..not nice at all..horrible story..doesn't match with the novel at all... lousy lousy lousy.. =p

Saw this really cool car quite some time ago..all along i hadn't had the time to upload these 2 photos..hee..

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Love long weekends...1 less working day..and more time spent with AG and my books..

went to Hilton Hotel's Checkers resturant for their seafood buffet dinner..didn't reach our expectations, at least for me..the chinese tim-sum is not very nice..dessert's okay, but not fabulous..partly they've very few chocolate cakes...but love their blueberry and american cheesecakes..hee..and oh! osyters and prawns, and little lobsters..yum yum.. =p

up to date, i still prefer inter-continental hotel's buffet lunch..went to eat there once for a workshop's lunch sessions with the hotels' facilities engineers..fabulous cakes...oysters, prawns...love the dessert, cos they've wider variety of chocolate cakes..!!! ahhh~ =p

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studying for exams is a killer..

juz for one module to study is a torture..it's scary to memorise so many herbs combination..GOSH...!!!!!!

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First time paid my sch fee, using my own money...feels good..hee hee...

cos at least i feel i'm not relying on my parents' money and i'm feeling more independent.. =p

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Thank goodness it's wednesday..just finished my work in the office and yup, blogging a bit in office after doing my work.. (T_T)

having slight headache now..and i kinda dread eating the salad which i've prepared last night.. argh..

no one in the office now, except me.. -__-

the whole day's been spent trying to understand how to fill a purchase order..getting advises from different departments and finally only at the end of the day, managed to get the stuff done. stupid me...

basically learning from the mistakes and confusions which i had the whole morning..

it's 9 pm..argh..initially wanna go sch to study and do my homework..

now need to rush home to finish my homework..argh...stupid idiot....

and can't be bothered to tidy up my office desk now..it's in stupid big mess..even had quite a hard time searching for my handphone...

but one good thing about today was that AG asked me out to have lunch with him... (^^) i'm so happy..it's been very long since i had lunch with him during our working days...

I love AG lots lots.. =p

Hasn't been a good week...

Was feeling pretty ill..and my mood's kinda fluctuating..probably kinda really miss AG a lot..just hope tat we could spend more time together, instead of juz once a week...but AG's been tolerant..and last night i was happily surprised that he bought me food for my family and was willing to step into my house to say hello to my parents..haa..but din invite him in cos we knew my parents will ask him in to drink tea together..and they really did..but i've kinda pushed him out of the house later..hahahaa..what i'm surprised that he's willing to do some "score-points" things..hee hee hee hee...

was "arrowed" to be the emcee for my department's seminar on thursday..received pretty good compliments but of course, many of them noticed that i was kinda nervous during the opening, standing alone in front of many older adults, and of course my director and my other colleagues..lucky thing, eventually i was getting more comfortable with the audience..so i was still satisfied with my this going-to-be-my-"first and last" host performance.

ended up myself dozing off heavily during my tcm lesson on that day, and feeling terribly ill and exhausted..

hadn't been in good spirit to work..kept questioning myself about my work performance and self-worth in work..

probably one thing which i felt happy during work is when i get to guide and work with the poly students which are attached to my division..

a lot of things to memorise for my sch work..exams is end of next month..starting to feel stressed up..

many times, really wish i can quit my job n focus fully on my tcm..i really want to do it well, or at least do as well as my classmates who are simultaneouly well-versed in chinese language and tcm..wanna show that a young chap like me can be as good and strong as them..
then again, many times, can feel myself at disadvantage than these classmates.. =p

arg...