Thursday, January 19, 2006

hmm..writing this again..this means that i'm feeling kinda moody..hee..

dun know what's wrong with me these few days..been feeling that i've been a terrible girlfriend to dennis..first, i can't give any good advices and can't seem to help him at all. Next, think i'm starting to get kinda demanding..i dun know why suddenly i become like this..recently i kinda have the tendency to intrude his privacy..i realise i can't control myself... i want to give him as much privacy so that i think i will lose him so soon, but at the same time, i want to secure my insecurity within me..I trust him but there's always a devil telling me the opposite..it's a terrible feeling and i detest it.. T_T think i'm starting to get worried as the time for him to go NUS is getting nearer.

Think i've listened to a radio program too much. There's one story which causes me to feel insecure about everything..The writer is also an ordinary girl who is attached to a honest-looking guy. But the guy went to a different uni and the girl realised that they were drifting apart as the guy was treating her very differently. After much persuasion, the guy finally confessed that he had another relationship in uni..and the girl had been kept in the dark cos the guy had tried to show appropriate afffection which seemed to convince her security.

Think i'm kinda scared i might land up like this girl..i hate to feel in this way..and i hate to think such future... T_T

Maybe a relationchip will drift when the 2 parties are not moving together, side by side. Along the same path, once one party's moved a bit too slow, he or she will find difficulty in catching up with the other party's steps. Trying to catch up, but everytime hesitation and inconfidence hinders in the steps of one. And as a result, one is moving, panting while the other is moving with ease. Maybe the faster one will stop and wait for the other to catch up. But when it takes too long, the faster one continues in own's footstep, leaving the slower one behind. Ultimately, the faster one decides to move onto the other path, leaving the slow one finish the unfinished path...