Somehow or rather, I've no idea what's going on with me these few days...
Maybe my first day of the year was not started well. Or maybe I've been thinking too much..
Sometimes I juz think I had been overly sensitive...
Sometimes I had been thinking too much...
I think I have reprimanded myself too much...
Somehow, I seemed to know why people like keeping pets, especially dogs.
'cos somehow I think I'm quite afraid of the world..
I'm afraid of people and
I think I'm quite afraid of myself.
I realise everytime when I start writing opinions about the things and people I see, I start to ponder upon my own actions. I start to feel afraid that I am one of them. I start to think I'm scolding myself. I start to think I am not a human when I write them...
Man is a scary animal. They think, so they do and manage relationship differently. Sometimes I juz wish I dun have to think so much...cos it's devastating me...
Probably that could be one of my reasons why I didn't want to climb too high up in one of my extra-cirricular activities...I'm scared that I'll change...I'm scared that I'll not like myself..
Well, let's take it that I'm overly sensitive...and paranoid?
Well, or let's say, it's not curiosity that kills the cat, it's sensitivity...
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Innocence,naive, ignorance and stupidity
Many like kids,
Many like babies,
Many like baby animals,
Not because they are cute.
It's because we are not them.
We do not possess the natural innocence.
Innocence and being naive is just a thin line across.
Naive and ignorance is separated by this fine line.
Ignorance and stupidity differs just by that thin line.
As we grow, we learn to be less innocent. We learn to be less naive. We learn to be less ignorant. This is the world, the world we live in. The words we say, the way we think, the way we do things, show how innocent, naive, ignorant and even stupid we are.
Innocence, naive, ignorant and stupidity is just a thin line difference.
Just last year, I went to a seminar to give a speech. I had raised a topic which everyone knows yet nobody dares to voice it out. It's a daring speech, that's the many responses. Sacrasm and laughter hid within the shadow of compliments.
To them, I was innocent.
To them, I was naive.
To them, I was ignorant.
To them, I was stupid.
I expected that kind of response. They thought they were the audience, laughing at a clown. But they were wrong. They were the clowns, I was the solitary audience.
It's good to be innocent at times.
It's good to be naive at times.
It's good to be ignorant at times.
It's good to be stupid.
And to be really happy like the babies, kids and baby animals, I prefer to be naive, I prefer to be ignorant. I prefer to be stupid at times.
For me, I want to be naive at times.
Only then I can hold firmly to my idealistic beliefs and principles.
Only then I can feel the true happiness within me.
Many like babies,
Many like baby animals,
Not because they are cute.
It's because we are not them.
We do not possess the natural innocence.
Innocence and being naive is just a thin line across.
Naive and ignorance is separated by this fine line.
Ignorance and stupidity differs just by that thin line.
As we grow, we learn to be less innocent. We learn to be less naive. We learn to be less ignorant. This is the world, the world we live in. The words we say, the way we think, the way we do things, show how innocent, naive, ignorant and even stupid we are.
Innocence, naive, ignorant and stupidity is just a thin line difference.
Just last year, I went to a seminar to give a speech. I had raised a topic which everyone knows yet nobody dares to voice it out. It's a daring speech, that's the many responses. Sacrasm and laughter hid within the shadow of compliments.
To them, I was innocent.
To them, I was naive.
To them, I was ignorant.
To them, I was stupid.
I expected that kind of response. They thought they were the audience, laughing at a clown. But they were wrong. They were the clowns, I was the solitary audience.
It's good to be innocent at times.
It's good to be naive at times.
It's good to be ignorant at times.
It's good to be stupid.
And to be really happy like the babies, kids and baby animals, I prefer to be naive, I prefer to be ignorant. I prefer to be stupid at times.
For me, I want to be naive at times.
Only then I can hold firmly to my idealistic beliefs and principles.
Only then I can feel the true happiness within me.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
angels n devils
i'm not intending to write a lot of the things that i do everyday..think it'll be boring..ahha..
well,this is a channel to voice out..hahaha..!!
angels, they are beautiful.
devils, they are ugly.
angels, they are pure.
devils, they are corrupted.
angels, they are nice.
devils, they are evil.
But do we always have to listen to angels?
i was introduced to the religion of catholic when i entered a girls' school, St.Anthony's Canossian Convent. i was taught to follow the goodness..to forgive and forget..to always be willing to give than to receive..i learnt them and i try my best to follow them..that's my life there.
When i stepped out of the comfort zone, i realised that it's very different from what i had learnt. it's a cruel world out there. u have to protect yourself.u may be weak but u have to make sure u have to protect urself. people will take u for advantage when u r jux too nice. tat's wat i've seen things and ppl around me...
i once heard this from one of my friends,"it's good to be bad guy." erm, to be a devil, i can say that. well, being a bad guy is indeed easy. u dun have to think whether u r treating the person nicely. u juz make sure u get the benefits.
well, one can argue that being a bad guy will lose all the trust, will lose all the friends. well, then this depends on how do u define what makes a bad guy. in my context of a bad guy, one will always have no complete trust in others.
being a devil will help get climb up the ladder of success faster.
being a devil will make oneself stronger.
being a devil will make oneself to be practical.
being a devil will make oneself to survive well in Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection.
BUT
being an angel will gain u trust-worthy friends.
being an angel will make oneself to treat others truthfully and sincerely.
being an angel will make oneself to be different from the world.
So,u wan to be an angel or devil?
Maybe, this world is too realistic. u juz have to be both. u cannot escape from them. in everyone, there lives an angel and a devil...
how to be both? u already have the answer.
well,this is a channel to voice out..hahaha..!!
angels, they are beautiful.
devils, they are ugly.
angels, they are pure.
devils, they are corrupted.
angels, they are nice.
devils, they are evil.
But do we always have to listen to angels?
i was introduced to the religion of catholic when i entered a girls' school, St.Anthony's Canossian Convent. i was taught to follow the goodness..to forgive and forget..to always be willing to give than to receive..i learnt them and i try my best to follow them..that's my life there.
When i stepped out of the comfort zone, i realised that it's very different from what i had learnt. it's a cruel world out there. u have to protect yourself.u may be weak but u have to make sure u have to protect urself. people will take u for advantage when u r jux too nice. tat's wat i've seen things and ppl around me...
i once heard this from one of my friends,"it's good to be bad guy." erm, to be a devil, i can say that. well, being a bad guy is indeed easy. u dun have to think whether u r treating the person nicely. u juz make sure u get the benefits.
well, one can argue that being a bad guy will lose all the trust, will lose all the friends. well, then this depends on how do u define what makes a bad guy. in my context of a bad guy, one will always have no complete trust in others.
being a devil will help get climb up the ladder of success faster.
being a devil will make oneself stronger.
being a devil will make oneself to be practical.
being a devil will make oneself to survive well in Charles Darwin's theory of natural selection.
BUT
being an angel will gain u trust-worthy friends.
being an angel will make oneself to treat others truthfully and sincerely.
being an angel will make oneself to be different from the world.
So,u wan to be an angel or devil?
Maybe, this world is too realistic. u juz have to be both. u cannot escape from them. in everyone, there lives an angel and a devil...
how to be both? u already have the answer.
Monday, January 03, 2005
all about 'drdavinci'
ok...hmm...well,first thing first..haha..welcome to my blog...!
hmm..this nick is my favourite..heee..first create this username when i was sec 2..'dr' means 'doctor'..it's my dream and ambition to be a doctor who can work in the ER(Emergency) section..but hmm,well, i can only say now that, this dream will always stay as a dream..years of hard work and changes are down to drain...arg...i dun want to talk about this now and ever..sigh..it's still hurting within me..everytime i see the laboratory coat,i am reminded of my dream..sigh..everytime i feel helpless that i cannot help my juniors in first aid and nursing,i am reminded again...everytime i watch the drama 'ER',i am reminded again!! SIGH...! well, i think i really need to accept the reality...when the results are not good, u can never bother to think about your interest or anything..it's a hard reality i have to face..well,maybe God doesn't want me to be a doctor...think He has reasons...hee..
ok,'davinci' was the famous artist cum engineer cum scientist..i learnt about him when i was sec 2..Leonardo da Vinci was the one who drew the renowned paintings 'Mona Lisa' and 'The Last Supper'..actually i cannot remember his place of birth,his date of birth etc...what makes me to have such a big impresson is his intelligence and bravery..he was smart..designed bridges and planes..he was brave enough to secretly cut open dead patients' bodies (it was illegal to do that in his time) and then quickly drew the anatomy swiftly and beautifully...i love his daring spirit..!!hee..hmm..think he's quite good-looking too..whahah.. =p
hmm..this nick is my favourite..heee..first create this username when i was sec 2..'dr' means 'doctor'..it's my dream and ambition to be a doctor who can work in the ER(Emergency) section..but hmm,well, i can only say now that, this dream will always stay as a dream..years of hard work and changes are down to drain...arg...i dun want to talk about this now and ever..sigh..it's still hurting within me..everytime i see the laboratory coat,i am reminded of my dream..sigh..everytime i feel helpless that i cannot help my juniors in first aid and nursing,i am reminded again...everytime i watch the drama 'ER',i am reminded again!! SIGH...! well, i think i really need to accept the reality...when the results are not good, u can never bother to think about your interest or anything..it's a hard reality i have to face..well,maybe God doesn't want me to be a doctor...think He has reasons...hee..
ok,'davinci' was the famous artist cum engineer cum scientist..i learnt about him when i was sec 2..Leonardo da Vinci was the one who drew the renowned paintings 'Mona Lisa' and 'The Last Supper'..actually i cannot remember his place of birth,his date of birth etc...what makes me to have such a big impresson is his intelligence and bravery..he was smart..designed bridges and planes..he was brave enough to secretly cut open dead patients' bodies (it was illegal to do that in his time) and then quickly drew the anatomy swiftly and beautifully...i love his daring spirit..!!hee..hmm..think he's quite good-looking too..whahah.. =p
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