haha..yup yup, this is my new sunglasses -given by the S5 ladies..hahaha..!! so how do i look? =p

went to marina square and suntec wif a fren. initially found that this friend is really interesting to talk to, but later dun know why, i juz feel kinda weird...probably he starts talking a lot about his MLM stuff..not selling any product..but hmm..i feel it's kinda a coporate conversation almost throughout the whole outing. but definitely, gained a lot of knowledge from this fren.

and well, saw dennis's tjc frens - the rock-climbing couple. and i was pretty surprised that they actually know this fren..and i feel this is totally small world. and i have this strong feeling that this couple probably be thinking what i am doing out here with a guy, and not dennis. seemingly they have no idea of the latest updates.

anyway probably i kept repeating "this is such a small world"..it kinda gotten my fren's curiosity. Din tell him though, cos i juz feel i dun want to mention anything about it at that time, and probably he thought that i had some "hidden" notorious reputation in tjc, which is obviously untrue.. =p but oh well, i juz leave him guessing ..

hahahha..

sigh...je ne sais pas.

lOok at my hair..!! it's permed..!! muhaha..!!
taken in Vivo's "marche" restuarant



me and jac - the two "early" birthday gals. =D
and look at my hair..!! it's permed...!!! muahhaa...!!


be CONVINCED..!!!! that my hair's permed.. =p

haa...

more photos to come..i tink..

hmm..but i tink i look pale..dun know why..never look very radiant no matter how i smile and how happy i am with my these 4 frens..my smile is different from when i was in vietnam.
i prefer the smile i had in vietnam..probably over there, i'm totally free of stress and problems and reality.

probably tat's why i like to go for overseas community service...

met zj, hm, jac n sindy today in vivo city..

haha..glad to see them..!!
n hahaa..well, they all gave compliments that my hair looks better than the previous one..at least can see the curls.. muhaha..tis time, i believe my fren tjhin will be convinced that it is not useless...! muhahaa..!

and wore a long skirt today, matched with a tank-top..hahhahaa..
miracle rite..?
muahhaa..!!
Wanna find out how the comments will be from the ladies..about me wearing skirt..well, they said i look more gentle...
muahhahahaha..!!
but throughout the whole journey to meeting them, i was utterly nervous and paranoid..worry tis worry that...scare the skirt will be translucent under certain lighting..etc etc etc...
but then again, i still prefer jeans..hahaa.. =p

Got a pair of sunglasses from the ladies. basically they let me go to a shop n select the pair which fits me the most.. hee..it's from Topshop, and i love this pair of sunglasses very very very much..!!! XD
Will show u all next time over here..!! hahhaa...!

went to the "Marche" swiss restaurant to have lunch. initially it's kinda in a mess as the four of us, besides zj, have no idea of how to order food there. for me, i've been to this restuarnt once when a very good pal of mine brought me to eat. but then, i've kinda forgotten the system of ordering food there.. =p

went to vivo's pet safari to look at dogs while waiting for jac to come..guess what i saw..?? (^^) (^^)

SIBERIAN HUSKY..!! i saw him enjoying some grooming session...!! it's so big..!! and it's so so so so so so so handsome..!!!!!!
when it turned around and glanced at me, my heart melts...melts..melt melt...!! furthermore, while the staff was grooming its fur, it was not afraid at all, and was not trembling at all (unlike the other dogs which were waiting for their turns).

but it almost ruin my impression of it when it passed motion and pee in front of me (of course, separated by a glass panel)....goodness me..but immediately i coverd my eyes with my hands, think i wanna respect its privacy, or i can't bear to see this sight..or sth like that.. muhaha..!!

BUT BUT BUT..siberian husky is very very very very good-looking...!! furthermore, this dog which i saw today was at its mature stage..it is so big and huggable..and it is so good-looking, yet looks stern which give me that sense of security...!!! even zj agreed with me on the spot that it is very good-looking..! muhahhaa..!!

right now, the more i am certain to get siberian husky as my future pet dog..! i could say it's the only breed which can make my heart melt ...and i can't simply take my eyes off it...

but today's gathering was considerably short..felt a bit sad cos din manage to spend more time with zj....

and oh ya, they forgot to sing me and jac a birthday song too..!!

muhahaha..!! =p

went to Taka and wisma in the evening with hm and jac...and i bought a white tank-top from "Potpourri"...50% off..!! and i love the ethnic design..!!

will bring my mum go orchard, shop for her clothes next time..hahaha..

anyway still, thank u,zj hm jac n sindy..!! really love the present ...!!!

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT...!!!

thank you..!!! (^^)

Finally it's here...the great singapore sale...! =D

WEnt to raffles city's "Island Shop" and bought a blouse. haa..nice nice nice.. (^^) it's 50% off..! goodness me..! love the blouse lots..!

saw a bag which i have been searching high and low..20% off..great deal..buying it on monday..!! =p

Kinda wanting to purchase contact lenses..those which could make my eyes look bigger..haha..never mind, will consult the ladies tmr..hee.. =p

somehow i juz feel i have so many things to buy..! clothes...jeans...shoes...bags...n probably cosmetics (to make my eyes look bigger..n look more refreshing)..also, need to pick up some simple make-up skills before i graduate, so that i could present myself better for job interviews..

it's discount..discount everywhere...! big BiG discount..!

So, starting to cut down on my meal budget..take it as a form of dieting..hmm..what else do i need to buy..?

oh ya, sunglasses..! might be purchasing one pair.. :p tink i've been influenced by zj liao.. =p

and of course, will definitely get my mum yelling.. (for the sake of my winged notes) ..haha..cool.. =p

going to start my tuition lessons again...sian...

and oh ya..received a wedding card from my colleague..dinner gonna be in fullerton hotel..! goodness me..! haha..gonna purchase a dress or something like that..

everyone around me who is attached is living a very blissful life...

Zj is absolutely blissful wif her current bf..

My this colleague who is holding the wedding dinner has been with her husband for 7 years..and yet they are still very happy with each other.. 7 years.....not an easy path, i guess. but well, my colleague's met a very good husband, whom i have seen him before.

my sjab altc (advanced leadership training course) "Espirin" platoon commander, ma'am hayani, is married..! goodness me me..!!

this is weird, a lot of people around me seem to be getting married recently..
ARG..! n i am still not married..! (T_T)

muhaaa..! but anyway dun tink will be attached these few years..i'll be busy and i've such a mum who seems to scare guys away..how to get married..?! muhahaa..! =p

a letter to mansze

Dear mansze,

how have u been? i've been fine, i guess.

Went to watch the musical "The Phantom of the OPera" on its last day of performance. Great musical, love the songs, and the settings. The clothes are brillantly tailored. Every little detail is responsibly and carefully taken care of. And this includes every performer on stage as well, they are awesomely professional. Take my hats off them.

The actor who is playing as Raoul is pretty goodlooking. haha..me sitting in the second row, in the middle of the stage. I had a gladful view of everything.

Love how space can be created just with the application of angles. Though find the development of the plot kinda rushy, i kinda pick up a few more threaterial skills.
hahaa..kinda have that feeling of directing another play.

Kinda learnt some threatre skills during my secondary school. How to act, how to place the setting, how to organise the climax of the plot etc etc...of course, learn further more from Arther Miller's "The Crucible" which i studied for one of my sec 3 literature texts.

Directed a few plays - here and there. hahha..

Then, how about you?

anyway, went to have my hair permed and i left the decision to the salon director. Not too bad. i like my fringe, i feel there's fringe. mine is done in a big wave style, which makes my hair look more permed. hhaa.. =p

alright, meeting the ladies this sat to have an early birthday celebration for jac and me..!! whaa..wonder what i am going to get.. =p
i know it's kinda early to have my birthday celebrated. but well, zj is flying for paris soon, and it'll not be fun to have one person missing. it juz feels weird and different. hee..

oh well, starting to have more work to do in the office..Enfin..!!!! me so happy happy..but i kinda feel stressed and worried that i'll not perform up to my expectations.
hope i will perform well. pray for me, ya?

anyway i have cancelled my phone's ID-caller service. find it useless now since rarely anyone calls and i rarely pick up the call. save that money. so if you wanna find me, juz msg me, or call reapeatedly..

FYP selection starts now..! Have you chosen yet? i have managed to find two projects which seem to match with one of my dreams..but it's a dual project. gotta find ppl who are interested..

Oh ya..!! before i forget..!
Wanna be someone special?

"Vibrant Blood 2007 - 22nd and 23rd June 2007 @ Harbour Front NEL Station. Be Someone Special, Donate Blood."

Come donate blood..!! I'll be there helping out on 23rd (yes, i know it's my birthday), but well, for the past 4 years, i always have things to do before or on my birthday..so, makes no difference this year..

alright, gonna stop writing. hands're getting tired. nice talking to you..you've been a great listener to me..

JIAYOu working loh..!

Regards,
mansze

tiring day today. played netball in my company's recreational centre. joined my department's netball team. having a inter-department competition next week. my reflex slowed down a lot, i realise. This is bad. Need to play some games recently, and exercise.

my colleague, J, went for the inter-department pool competition after the netball practice. so i tagged along for a while.

think i dun even step into the pool room. realise something about myself. i feel there's a hidden devil within me, it's only that i have been succumbing it all along.

anyway people, try not to call me nowadays, for i'll hardly pick up the call. Very soon, i will even remove the caller-ID service. find no point paying the exra 5 bucks.

reasons being?
My phone's been always on silent mode all along. it's either i din hear the phone vibrating or i completely have no mood to pick up the phone and talk.
All these months, i juz dislike opening up my mouth and talk. partly cos i've started to lose my sense of speech and expression.
even when i open my mouth to talk, it's all filled with crap, and grammatical errors.

so kinda mean, my presentation skills are failing in due time too. dun think i can do presentations well nowadays.

But if it's an urgent matter, do msg me after the call. or juz call repeatedly.
Sorry, i hope all of you will understand my situation.

what had happened to me? i have no idea too.
i only know b la bblabb la bbl abblab bl Kingshaw.

Now, bl abb labb labb labb lab b labb.

Somehow, b labb labb labb la bblab bla bblabblab.

Vanity is a strength.

"Vanity is a strength."

That's said by my this 2nd fashion consultant friend.
Talking to this friend again. and all the fashion "nagging" started. =p
I think he has good intention of telling me all these, partly to boost my confidence up?

Anyway, one thing for sure, he makes me realise the reality of human. Something which i have to force myself to accept it.

b la bblablab bla bb labbl blabb.

b la bblablab bl abbl abbla bl abbl.

and of course, b labb lab blabbl abb labb la b bla. =(

dun know what i am trying to say? it's alright. will keep my inner feelings confidential from now on, besides telling them to my S5 ladies.

this is juz a place where i can talk to myself. like a wholly sane nuts.

back to service ( temporary )

Dear Drdavinci.blogspot,

Yes.

I am back to service.

Talking to myself.

what i have been doing?
Hmm..too mnay things happened.

Low spirit, trying to get myself up.

why i am in low spirit? dun tell u all ... =p

been having nothing much to do in office recently. only have one assignment to do and i am doing like snail, partly due to the mass information given by my beloved internet, and the wholesome wordy words.

x_o

almost K.O.

feel totally taskless in office. i still dun know whether all my proposals have been accepted. Feel very scared and utterly worried. furthermore, my supervisor is not around in office quite often recently. my section feels so empty...and i feel so isolated... =(

i hope more tasks will come along, so that i feel more motivated to work harder and faster.

and i have this bad feeling that this time for my second evaluation will not be as good as the first one. first, i have not made much significant results. I am not pleased with my recent performance. Second, recently i am more talkative, and more restless. Third...fourth....fifth...

hope everything will go smoothly for me.

Fingers crossed.

Arg. i feel like i am talking to myself again.

Signed with confusion,
Drdavinci.blogspot.com

Drdavinci.Blog is now temporarily closed down.

A worthless worth

An extract from Susan Hill's "I'm the King of the Castle"

"
Kingshaw had found the clearing now. The stones were still there, piled up, from when they had built the fire. It seemed a long time ago. He didn't stop to look.

On the bank of the stream, he took all his clothes off, and folded them in a pile. He shivered and the water was very cold, silky, against his body. For a second, he hesitated, part of his mind starting to come awake. And then he thought of everything, of what else would happen, he thought of the things Hooper had done and what he was going to do, of the new school and the wedding of his mother. He began to splash and stumble forwards, into the middle of the stream, where the water was deepest. When it had reached up to his thighs, he lay down slowly and put his face full into it and breathed in a long, careful breath.

It was Hooper who found him, because he had known at once where he would have gone, they all followed Hooper, trampling and calling. The rain had begun again, dripping down on their heads and shoulders through the dark leaves.

When he saw Kingshaw's body, upside down in the water, Hooper thought suddenly, it was because of me, I did that, it was because of me, and a spurt of triumph went through him.

..."

###########--------------##############

Dear Depress,

You seem to find me at a time when i am not armed.

Right now, all because of you, i am confused.

For I have no idea what goes through inside my mind.

I realise you love to find me. you have played the whole world up with all your little tricks. but why are you doing that? have you been hurt? very hurt?

it's only 5th. it's not yet 25th.

sometimes, i just wish you could knock me off, and put me into sleep for days. I am always accompanied by Fatigue and I dun really need you to walk together hand in hand with me.

Very often, because of you, man finds serenity in sanity.

Very often, because of you, man finds sanity in desperation.

Very often, because of you, man finds insanity in blogging.

Because of you, I struggle through the search for companion.

Because of you, I struggle through the desire for sanity.

Because of you, I struggle through the identity for self.

You have hit where it hurts me most, aren't you happy now?

You have made me blog things which are totally ridiculous, aren't you proud?

You have made me blog as if I am talking to self, aren't you satisfied?

You never bring Hope along, for she's your enemy.

But you never bring Tears along, when you find me.

Probably I know how you victimise me.

Temper hardly finds me, and Tolerance and Sensitivity are always by my side.

They are un-armed, and you take advantage of them.

Victimise them, hoping I will fall.

Am I right?

Signed,

Paranoid.

Hmm..hhaa..hmm..think i'm depressed.

again.

haha.. hmm..

Just finished watching "200 pounds beauty" over youtube. =p

very touching movie. feel like crying... (T_T)

maybe i am really tired now. so tired that i got myself depressed.

sometimes, i just wish i will just faint out of extreme fatigue, and landed up myself in the hospital for days. or maybe not, just rest at home.

actually, to think about it, i really have no much idea of why am i working almost 24-7.
i only know only when i get myself busy with work, i can have the excuses of not going out with any guy friend (as in those 1-1 outing). Get myself tired, then i find myself wanting to rest at home, rather than to go out.

but of course, for my good friends, no matter what, i will still try to squeeze out time for them. hee...

dun know whether i am over-working myself. but i know, when my next semester starts, i know i am going to over-work myself.

but well, i dun care so much now. i just try to exercise more, and slim down more, so that i will find myself more confidence in wearing clothes. get myself vainer than before, and prevent myself from getting committed to another relationship. haha..

you know about the song "way back into love", the theme song for the movie "music and lyrics"? Yeah, that's what i have been feeling all along now, about relationship.

i dun mind over-working myself, cos at least i dun have the time to recall things which i dun want to be reminded.

call me crazy, or whatsoever, i dun care.

i only want to tire myself out.

FATIGUE

Yes.

I am fatigue again.

Been dozing off in office for the whole week. Probably due to my lack of sleep.

Morale in office has been very low. Probably i have this bad feeling that my proposal is turned down by my boss again. (T_T) dun know why, it's just a very strong and terrible feeling.

i just hope i dun doze off so often next week.

arg..........

and i'm starting to get fed up with many stuff...sigh...i juz wish this could stop.

really really really...

very tired now. wanna stop writing for today, or else i start to rattle depression again.

Beauty in Asia

"Beauty in Asia"

200 BCE to today.

Today's the opening ceremony held in Asian Civilisation Museum.

My dad's invited to attend this opening function, so since I am interested in this event, i tagged along, after my work.

haha..

wore the wrong pants today. wore black jeans, should have worn the pair of black working pants. haha..but well, i still looked presentable for the function.

Mainly showcases the chronological transition in the perception of beauty, especially asia. However, the displays are mainly from India, and Indonesia. Of course, china, japan, and vietnam beauty artifacts are showcased.

Many euporean guests went to attend this function. If i have not guessed wrongly, many are french. cos i overheard many of their conversation, and many words sound familiar.

But one thing for sure, one day, I will go take up french and obtain a cert for it. hahaha..
Can't learn alot from school's french lessons.

And oh ya, i saw the guy Channel News Asia news broadcast host...!! the guy who used to report news in the morning, or if not, in the afternoon..the one with a very big and bright pair of eyes, and with a very charming smile..

hahhaa..

i saw him..!! oh my goodness..!! (^^)

and i saw him several times, cos he walked past me several times..hahaa..!! (^^)

and my dad joked that people may mistake him to be bringing a young girl out..ahaha..but well, i told him that if that's the case, then i will put a message on my forehead, saying "I am his daughter." whahhaa...

overall, the function was alright. and my back is aching now. i've hardly stood up so straight before...cos normally i like to walk "slobbily" (forget how to spell), will keep my back straight while walking, but well, not that straight as today..

haa..

anyway heard from the organiser's speech that the art museum is going to hold an exhibition on copper craving of mona lisa (if i din remember wrongly). the exhibition will commence tomorrow.

most likely, if the exhibition does not end after my students' mid year exams, most likely i will go.

haaha..

alright..!! tomorrow (thursday) can get to meet up ZJ they all - the S5 ladies..! ahhaha..and yeah...can see Cookie..!!!

Long time din see him and long time din play wif him...!! wonder how he's been...hahhahaa..!!

i'm feeling better..

feeling better le..

thanks people..especially thanks to QZ...hee... ^^

but ya, tink i am not quitting la. =p

but definitely, i must take this mistake as a lesson..though actually thinking back, i still feel very angry with myself.

feeling better, also due to the fact that i went to watch the "Forrest Gump" movie. dun know why, at that moment, it makes me feel slightly better.

thank u... =)

alright, gonna go sleep le..working again tomorrow..

sigh...

really need to sleep more now, my brain juice seems to be having some traffic jam up there. can't really produce excellent work results recently.

sigh.

sigh.

yes.

Just laugh at me..
just mock me..
and shake your head..

maybe
or in fact
i am just not good at it.

think i just dun touch first aid anymore.

i am just not good at it.
Such a simple thing can even do wrong.

and ya, as what my friend told me,
it's like a clown la...

think i just focus on my studies and stop thinking of wanting to go back to perform first aid duties.

realised i made a bad mistake of telling everyone here.
cos this mistake will only bring disadvantage and dirt to my reputation.

i should really stop touching first aid, and let others on the street do the job.

My parents are right.
Don't touch first aid anymore.

hhaa..i think i really have a beauty consultant, and probably another fashion consultant.

talking to my this fren over msn just now.

and he again...

asking me to try wear this, wear that...

this time, he asked me to try wearing a skirt for casual outing.

he kept trying to convince me that i will look nice with skirt.

but whaha..u know me.

i "rebutte" every word he said.

cos i dun tink i look nice in skirt..! n i am really not confident..dun tink they look nice la...yet my this fren kept persuading me to wear..

but can see he's trying real hard to persuade me..and i really appreciate that he seems to be trying to boost my self-esteem.

but then again, tink my opinions for my own self-esteem are higher than his every persuasion.

will wear skirt la, but only for work purpose or special occasion. for casual outing, na.....
i do have a long skirt, but still finding the big courage to wear it out.....

maybe partly cos he only saw me when we were in year one, i feel that he din know me well enough.. =p so the more i feel i should not be convinced by him.. =p

dun know la...

but i just dun understand why people are so visual...
well, of course, i'm saying myself too.

but well, this is the reality.

that's why u will see so many people nicely dressed, especially the ladies.

for wat purpose? i believe the reason is obvious.