=x

well, my results were out yesterday..hmm..not within my expectations, but well, hee..i managed to pass all subjects..hee..sigh..in fact, i was hoping to score more As than last semester. Still, almost same results as last semester..stupid idiot results.. T_T =p
well, no choice la..have to work hard next semester loh...whaa.. hmm..
very busy recently, busy especially with st john thingy... phew..finished my zone meeting this afternoon..hmm, well, think there's improvements in the way how the meeting is conducted. Fast, short and clear. but well, i was arrowed to help out in the SingMa competition. the appointment's quite dumb la, i also dun know why i accepted it..arg...dumb dumb me!
i saw derek during the meeting..dun know i felt a strong sense of saddness within me..sigh..i also dun know why....
well, think SAC is thriving to perform well, maybe cos of the teachers-in-charge. All of us share the same vision of wanting to boost SAC's performance..hee..hopefully we can do it. hmm, i shouldn't say "hopefully"; i should say "we must do it!!!" ^^
i'm going to be a platoon commander for this year's NCOC..kinda nervous and excited over this appointment. i've never tried this before, but i try to be one good one. hmm, still currently, there are some in the zone who have an impression that i'm kinda soft-spoken..hee..i can understand why they have such response =p nevertheless, there are many things which i have to learn a lot from the officers who have experiences in NCOC..hee..
then after the meeting, i saw Polin mdm...she ah..aiyo!!! think she really has mood-swing..she somehow scolded me for dragging my shoes when i was walking along the corridor of the HQ. to me, i juz feel that she's abusing her authority..i mean how i wanna walk is my own personal problem, she has no right to intrude mine! besides that, both of us are not wearing uniforms, so the more she has no right to control me! so unreasonable! i know she's strict and fierce, but really la, she's finding the wrong way to correct junior officers. maybe cos i nvm greet her when i saw her, then she's not happy and tried to find minute fault in me..stupid idiot..well, still, think i should know how to handle her when i see her le..have to act respectful to her though i know she's known to be a excellent officer and leader... =( still, the way she treats me this afternoon only earns fear fr me, but not respect..
but really, i really need to pray hard that i dun have to see her..she's superb fierce! i am really very scared of her...!!
well, enough about Polin mdm...
anyway good news! dennis has been selected by NUS to study law. i am very happy for him cos i know it's going to be good life for him. well, though i am happy for him, i am actually starting to be mentally prepared..hmm, well, it's juz this fear that comes to me..scared he will dump me for another when he goes NUS..one reason could be because i'm worried that the status he's going to enjoy in the future will only make him look for someone with the same calibre as him, and better calibre than me..hmm, u can say i've no faith in him..but that's not wat i think. to me, i juz have no faith in human nature. When one's having a good life, one may tend to forget the past hardships one had been through n the ppl whom have gone through the tough times with, especially the very very closed ones..i juz hope this day do not ever come at all...