a little depressed now..i also dun know why i am reacting in this way..or maybe cos it's raining outside now n i'm thinking a bit too much..well, anyway.....
somehow or rather, i can't help myself thinking that i dun fit any of dennis's requirements of his ideal lady...he likes girls with look of slightly above the average - which i dun have. He likes ladies who pose themselves to be confident - which i dun think i have the confidence which he is looking for..sigh..anyway even though i have been with him for more than 2 yrs, i cannot understand why he still insists on wanting to continue n maintain this relationship in which i am not within his requirements..haiz..he does fit into my requirements but sadly, i dun fit into his..well, i still have probably a yr's grace period =)
hmm..why am i saying that? haha..hmm..well, basically i just feel very strongly that he can n he will manage to find such lady in NUS..and of course, i know he cannot give me any promise n i dun want him to, but well, these are just my thoughts..
well, probably you will think that someone in NTU might like me n i might have interest in him..but well, think i dun wanna put hopes into that. Even if the guy were to like me, it will be juz a temporary period of time..haha..well, anyway i know not many guys will dare to accept me cos many dare not 'over-power' me. i am a lady with numerous responsibilities. A eldest sister who has to constantly set up a good example to my brothers, the only daughter who cannot let her parents down, corp officer who has to worry for naughty juniors, private tutor with 5 students at hand, a good friend to be, a person who has to constantly self-reflect in order to be good, and a person who just wanna fulfill her dream in one way or another...in summary, i am trying to be a perfect person n an all-rounder.
Just by all these responsibilities, especially my status as a leader (which i have the thirst for leadership opportunities) , think not many guys dare to come close me...whhaaa...
haiz...well, anyway i juz have to treasure the times i'm spending with dennis even though i have many things at hand..i juz have to try to cook a good mushroom omelette for him..time is short n very soon, he will be exposed to more ladies n he will find what he really wants..
HaIz....hAiZ....i'm a little depressed, but watever....