hmm

boring day today..study the whole day and have to study again tmr... T_T not only that, my tuition's cancelled tmr...why....????!!!
hmm...i really hope the exams finish soon...really..i have so many things to do..play badminton..meet my four good good friends..haha...can't wait to see them..kind of miss them too..go kbox sing songs..play badminton with them..aiyo..hahhaa...!!!
then really miss my juniors in SAC..heard fr sihui on the flag commissioning parade day that she cannot control them..sigh..why??why?? why do i have to go back and clear up the mess...? =(
but still, i'll be there as long as i think i can tahan there..i cannot let the zone bully my juniors..they can bully me, not my juniors...sigh...think about my juniors, it's really a headache.. every patch has its own different problem n i have to solve them differently n flexibly..after exams, intending to take a refresher course to revise my first aid..i really miss doing first aid..
somehow or rather, i really dislike having so many responsibilities - being the eldest, being an officer...i know for sure, i cannot go study nursing n physio..i can't..i have to think of my family..not only being the eldest, i'm the smartest there =P my two bros are not pulling up their socks n again, this's my headache..n tat's why tat's one reason i dun really wan to stay in hall..i wonder how's the house'll be like without me around..i cannot let the others depise my family..i have to earn enough money so that i can be the backup just in case my two bros cannot support my parents fully..cos of my family, i've to give up what i really wan to do in life T_T
As days go by, i have this feeling that i'm starting to forgive derek...until now, i still believe that he's good-hearted deep within him..he's a leader now; he has a dream for the zone n for the hq..he wants to prove others wrong, i think..this, i cannot blame him at all..i can understand that a leader has to do what he has to do..i know n i understand... =)
sigh...really hope i can have a husky...can hug them n they look fierce enough to protect n comfort me..whahaaa..
hahhaa..dun know what's wrong with me now..? been thinking too much la...