1st day of work in year 2009:

Was glad that I was not late for work, reached office punctually. =) I gave myself a good pat on the shoulders.

Opened my office mail..started clearing a few and doing some proper work..and one assignment given to me wasn't pleasant to me..sigh..
Was pretty upset with myself, with the assignment given to me...i felt kinda guilty yet i felt i have to do this...and i'm still worried whether i'll get any scolding or stern advice from my boss..

Till now, i've not been scolded and my boss had placed much trust in me..and i feel i'm failing her... i felt kinda lousy...

was pulling a very long face after settling the assignment and waiting for my boss's further reply/concurrence when my colleague, I, saw my terrible expression and offered me a chocolate which his gf bought fr australia..hahaha..was pretty touched with the little gesture. Probably both of us started work not long ago, so he could understand how I felt.
haha..

of course, told AG and he tried to console me tat everything'll be fine and i'll not get scolded..

hhaa..probably i'm scared of getting scolded and ended up myself tearing in a cubicle..haha..which tat will be super embarrassing... =p

But realised that it's really contradicting..i used to tell my SAC juniors, especially the sec ones and twos, to learn as much as possible, to make mistakes and be daring in admitting them and avoiding any repeat..but right now, as a fresh graduate and a fresh employee working in a gov agency, i start to learn that i can be very timid and scared of facing music when i make mistakes..and the more i'm scared of making mistakes, the more pressurised i am and more mistakes i can make...

And starting to learn that there are even many things which i need to be aware and cautious of.

Well, trying to stay optimistic..and i must have faith in myself, have confidence in myself that all these, including mistakes, will make me stronger and more experienced in my career.

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Had just finished reading short story "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". Very interesting plot and i love it. but it's different from its movie..hhaa..believe the movie is great too.. =P

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Went home for dinner with my family and watched "The Day the Earth Stood Still". Keanu Reeves looks like Noah..the story tempo is pretty slow - i've kinda grumbled about the dragginess of the movie while watching...concept wise, hmm..seems to have referred from the story of Noah's Ark. Reflective..the movie seems to convey such a message that if we still do not care about the environment and make concrete actions to slow down the destruction of mother nature, God or maybe aliens will save the earth, but not people.

hmmm...i'll give this movie 6 out of 10. The movie's tempo is too slow for me to sit still............

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Going on my second church service tmr...

hmmm..to share with you all my first church service last sat, hmmm..it's quite an eye-opener..
people, especially the NS guys, will jump up and down as they sang hymns..and they will stretch out their hands, as if to reach out high (according to my knowledge, it's to God)...
and ya..after every hymn, individual prayers were said and there was when i started to hear a person standing next to me praying in tongue..kinda scared me...and everyone was like muttering their prayers and it's become kinda noisy..i can't concentrate on my own prayer...

what kinda surprised me was during the sermons, they will take out their notebooks and pen to jote down notes..kinda puzzled me..but i dun wanna do tat cos i dun like my learning to be classroom-style and to me, i wanna know God and learn lessons through stories of Bible by listening and doing self-reflections.

After the service, my church mates will try to involve me in some of their church activities..probbaly i've been too individualistic and quite a loner..i feel a little uneasy.. =p
but of course, there's JD to be with me and she never forces me to do anything, so i still feel not so bad..

Probably i'm really not used to such ceremony...it's very different from the masses which i attended during my sec sch days..i love the atmosphere of how catholics hold their service..more peaceful and calm and quiet..and love the hymns..

Sigh..dun know why..i dun feel being a christian..hhaa..guess i'm not ready enough..so will take it slow and easy... =p

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