Went to the same place to attend my buddy's, HL, band performance.

The whole performance was much better..the lead singer sang better too..haha..n even got to speak to the lead singer's mum

;p

lucky thing AG brought along his dslr camera..so much sharper and at least i can capture more expressions..

but can only upload these photos after my exams.. =p

Plus

1 embarrassing moment (T____T)

Was asked by HL just now in the afternoon, that have to shout "encore" later after the whole performance, cos it's kinda sth to do with his little happiness. hahha..

And during the last past of the last song, HL mouthed some words across the stage, reminding me to shout "encore" after this song.

So after a silent pause after this last song ended, I shouted "Encore!".

Only that, i realised I'm the only one who shouted it.

And everyone told a shock, including AG and HL.

Furthermore, the male lead singer even asked me to repeat what i've juz said.
I was like....start making nervous giggles and kinda hyperventilating..whahaha...

Took quite a lot of courage to do tat solo shout.

****************************************************

Been busy with my school work. exams are around the corner and the notion itself is occuping my mind most of the time.

ARg...

****************************************************

It's the third time when i had such similar nightmare.

It's kinda making me feel insecure and paranoid...
think it could be due to one reason tat i realised i've put quite a bit of weight...
N it's terrorising my sense of security..and i'm starting to be scared...

I dun wanna the same form of fear to affect me in a r/s..i dun want to repeat the same insecurity....

(T___T)

The more i tink of it right now, the more i feel like tearing...start to develop all the possible negative thoughts i impose upon myself.
"Why can't I be like those girls who can eat so much yet not gaining weight easily?"
"Why can't I lose weight easily?"
"Why am I feeling myself to so lousy in grabbing a guy's heart for long?"
"Am i really stupid or what?"
"Why am i always so stupidly lousy in fashion sense?"

It's all the why-why questions which constantly runs in my head, ever since i know i've gained weight.
And all these questions are very 'surface'...all associated with the perception of beauty from a guy's point of view..

The worst of me has gotten over my sanity.