Think dennis'll not be reading this..so i dare to write all these down.

he's really starting to move on with his life. and he's changing.

to someone whom i may not be familiar with.

could be mainly due to my fault. cos i initiated the break-up.

he's really moving on, and is moving even much faster than me.

i have this feeling that he'll be attached soon.

but definitely not to me.
cos i have this strong feeling that i will no longer be in his consideration at all.

i thought i move on.
but now, i feel i am not at all.
i am moving on very slowly.

is it that i dun want to move on?
or i can't find any reason to move on?

of course, i will still feel happy for him when he is attached to a girl who is so much better than me (in terms of looks, brains etc).

I have to feel happy, rite?

Maybe he's already thrown away all the paper cranes and the cross-stitches which i gave to him.

and me?
i am still using the wallet which he gave to me.
i am still using the handphone which he bought for me, when i lost my very first handphone.
i still keep a photo of him in the phone.

and i will often be constantly reminded of his presence whenever anything related to things he likes etc...

so maybe you will ask.
then why in the first place i initiated the whole breakup, and now making myself cry in silence?

well, people.

sigh.

u can never understand.

he's living to the fullest, and he is happy. and he is doing very well in school, and in his social life.
when he is no longer attached to me.

so u get any point?

in my life, happiness always seems to exist to people around me when it doesn't come to me.
probably, this is my life.
a life which i will cry in silence or in pain, in solitude, but my tears could create many happiness for others.