Tomorrow's one last paper...been struggling with my health for the past few days..
Been feeling sick..running nose, now accompanied by cough...

sigh..gonna go back office on wednesday, need to clear urgent emails and attend my proj presentation meeting. sigh.

i really need a good break after exams..have not taken any decent worry-free break since the start of the year...working non-stop, attending lessons here and there..june's not a good break cos of the stupid convention...SIGH. =(

Sigh. Thought i can do pretty satisfactorily for this paper..but out of my low confidence and high self-uncertainty and numerous self-doubt, i've lost 10 marks for the paper.

Sigh. Never mind. Just need to revise the stuff again. In preparation for my next semester's clinical attachment and the post-graduation license examination which will take place after my graduation.

Understand from my classmate's wife who graduated from the same school that the degree has no ranking of honours, i.e. no first-class, 2nd or 3rd class honours. A relief for this part, but then again, can't lose any chance to be lazy. What matters in the end is whether i will be skilled and confident enough to provide the best treatment to the patients.

Next semester - 3 nights of theory lessons and 2 nights additional for clinical attachments. Gosh. This implies 5 tcm nights and 5 working days, and hmm..1 to 2 family time and 1 to 2 days of AG time...
Need to plan my time even better. But I believe I can do it, I can plan it well, and I can manage the stress level. I may have been through the worst time and this i can handle it.

JIAYOU!!!!!

My "Einsteinous" Hypothesis

Had this relatively interesting encounter with a stray cat.

I was waiting for a lift when i spotted a completely black stray cat at the lift lobby. So out of fun, I meowed at it..well it meowed back and seemed to be following me whenever I went.

The lift opened. Before I stepped into it, the cat moved kinda cautiously into the lift..and somehow it seemed to be talking to me and i responded by meowing..anyway the cat went into the lift in the end and i wanted it to get out of the lift. So the whole conversation kicked off. With all the exchanges of meowing between both of us..Finally i meowed firmly at the cat, trying to tell it to get out of the lift. And it worked! haha..

I know it sounded ridiculous, me being in the public trying to converse with an animal. It does sound bizarre. But well, an "einsteinous" hypothesis forms in my mind.

Here's it. Cats are like women, or women are like cats. Can be mysterious and many times hard to catch. So probably to talk some sense into a woman's head, the man needs to do the cat talk. Communicate with women in women's language.

Well, not sure how true is this hypothesis. But well, you can try it out. =p
Maybe it works.

Walk the talk, man.

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Kinda miss AG now..He had an early sleep and din manage to talk to me..feel a little lonely now..hahahah...ok, gonna go now..tomorrow's 2nd paper...

Finally...one paper down..this paper is still ok, easy to do cos this teacher gives super lots of hint...then again, i tried to refrain myself from all these hints and kept studying whatever can be squeezed into my little memory box..

had a stroll around the basar malam which is set up near the school..happily musing over this stall which auctions for many different decorative items..

so tired..3 more papers to go...my exams end on 1 dec and still need to go back office the next day..thought i can clear my that half-day time off on that date.. hmm..i need a good break after this exam..

had arranged a whole lot of post-exam activities for myself..dance class...cooking (this time must cook something for AG to try..hee..)...exercising...and..shopping for my dslr camera!!!

I'm getting it by end of this year..!!! ok, it will be d90, with 18-200mm lens..and probably one off-camera flash..and of course a bag...and a diy box to keep the camera and the len in good conditions..
and after that i can start playing around with the manual mode..!! need to consult my colleague, I. He teaches me a lot about all these technical stuff..

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ok, 3 more papers to go..sat's paper is gonna be the hardest..a lot to memorise and all those four-words phases..gosh....

Been studying intensively...but not for these 2 days, think my stamina has dropped..gosh..tue's the first paper! kinda nervous... =s

still need to go back office for a short while to have my performance appraisal signed...gosh gosh...gonna squeeze whatever info i can squeeze into my little mighty mind...

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AG's back from his trip!! yeah...i'm so happy to see him..!!!!! And he bought me a lot of souvenirs..haha..mainly t-shirts..haa...

and yup, have given him the birthday gift..it's a demonstrator fountain pen - Namiki Custom 823 Demonstrator. And phew...he loves it!!! =D when he got it, the first response from him was that he was speechless. haha..guess he din expect me to get quite an expensive gift for him..but well, i din get anything much for him last year..and for the one-yr anniversary..hahaa..so this can make it up.. =p whahhaa...

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Tada!! A little birthday cake for AG!

I kinda like this photo..hee..

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Been working non-stop for 12 hours today..din have any proper lunch or dinner..just kept finishing off the scraps and pieces of the project before i go for my leave tomorrow..

Thank goodness i've finished my work by 9pm..or else i will be in a completely dark office...

Din know that the office will automatically switch off the lights by 9.30pm..i was a little scared last night when i was packing up my stuff and the lights just went off like that. Thank goodness i have a little desk lamp which i bought..

Exams next week! ARG..!! so nerve-wrecking!!!!

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And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BUDDY..!!! =D

Was on APEC duty yesterday and met new colleagues..

one of them whom i have the chance to talk had a fantastic wife. He told me that his wife was born with one arm. What is amazing and inspiring is that the wife cooks, prepares the ingredients all by herself, without any assistance from anyone. She can even make swiss roll cakes, and scales the fish with just one arm!

I'm totally amazed and inspired by his wife. =)

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Went to Orchard today to get AG's birthday present. Met my SAC junior and wow, what a change. haha..she seems to me that she has become mature..haha..and a few distance away, i also met Jas and another of my colleague! hahah..goodness me..orchard is a small world.

managed to find a gift for AG..hope he'll like it... =s

had a good walk at kino..and bought myself a book to help me improve for my work.
went over to the list of books in the medicine section...
I can feel my heart crack whenever i walk past or even look through the books.

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Tada~! Master chef AG..!! hee..he did the cooking while i did the photography and the washing up. hee...yummy dish he made.. =D

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Met AG and his family for a dinner. It's an advanced birthday celebration for him. haha..ate in Lawry's ..the food there was wow.......very expensive..but the service and prime ribs are excellent. they even sang a birthday song for AG, and took photos! hee..can't wait to get the photo from them..

i still love black angus steakhouse over near the forum shopping mall. that's where AG brought me to eat for our first month's anniversary and i love the cosy atmosphere. no need to feel restricted..hee...

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yeah! bought an original soundtrack of "Forrest Gump" for myself!! =D yeah, i'm so happy..!!

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Today's marathon was cancelled cos of the stupid heavy downpour. but haha..get to go home early! hee...

apec duty tmr..hee..can rush my work, and do some studies there..haha..

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Can't wait on monday..hee.. =)

and gosh..so many wedding dinners to attend recently..one in nov, one in dec and another in jan next yr.

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was very happy today. Managed to find my ring. could not find it for the past few days, until today when i went back to the office which is based outside hq.

Sesame Street 40th anniversary this year!

woo!! it's one of my favourite tv shows..till now! it's very entertaining, cheerful and musical..haha..love the monsters too...and also the actors and actresses...gosh...it feels so nostalgic...!!!

love this song "sing a song"...woo!! love it love it love it!





"C is for Cookie"..!!

Just some mundane mumbles and grumbles.

On off-in lieu today..but the night before, i was suffering from insomnia..the stress i can feel from the project i'm managing..and the studies..

AG is leaving overseas this friday... ='( but hee..he'll back next monday! think i'll miss him ..... ='(
lucky thing i still have my studies to accompany me, and also the apec duty..

had a relatively good rest...went to meet AG for lunch near his workplace..and did my studies in smu while waiting for him to finish his work..and also reading the same book by rick warren..feel more relaxed and at ease after reading some chapters..it's like a book of calm..hha..reminded me of "black books" (good show).

i'm still having running nose..arg...going to have a marathon this friday!!! arg..need to recover asap..

work tomorrow..dread going work... :p

have signed up for partner salsa! yeah! will be starting on dec! wooh! so excited..! it's not about knowing guys there, which i'm totally not interested at all, but i can get to learn something new! anyway was glad to hear that they din bother to be concerned of whether i need to bring one along..haa..and they told me to wear open-toe high-heeled shoes..i've no idea why must be so particular about open-toe shoes (think like what AG said - so that the guys can step onto the ladies' toes - ouch!) ..anyway i just ignore that open-toe shoes..i'm pretty confident about myself dancing in high-heeled shoes since i can run with such shoes on.

watched "ugly betty" season 4..and gosh..i feel like i'm betty -fresh graduate and struggling a lot at work. but then again, she enjoyed her work while i dun.

Think it's the christmas mood..christmas is around the corner..(and of course, before this festival, AG's birthday comes first..hee..)

love the piano pieces played in "Love Actually". Watching this movie seems to be part of my christmas celebration. Watched it last year's christmas..and now again, i'm watching it. Love the plots, the stories, the humour and it's this movie which i start to like Hugh Grant. haha..he's a charismatic man.

anyway, enjoy these few pieces..great pieces..!






PM's love theme:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Or4ffMQkeI

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haa..and oh ya! this song "Blame it on the girls" by Mika and "Mercy" by Duffy. Great songs to dance, especially "mercy". largely attributed to the "so you think you can dance" season 5. haha..thinking about dance, i wanna go sign up for my long-desire salsa...! dun know whether should take ladies salsa or the partner salsa.. hee hee..

i wanna dance..i wanna dance! dancing cheers me up!

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school's getting tougher..one of my lecturers kept telling us that there is past history of a high percent of failure from part-time students who went to take the license exam after their graduation exam. partly cos these students are not fully focused.

but what can we part-time students do? work in the morning, sometime even work over-time..married ones will need to spend time for their families..and at the same time, trying to juggle the studies..

i am now starting to feel the mental and physical toll..somehow i just want to keep going on with the studies..yet i feel i'm not focused..there are many times when i wish i can just quit my job and go full-time into this. but this is too big of a sacrifice..my brothers have not started working yet and it's not as if i'm born out of a golden spoon.

i'm struggling in this studies, still many things which i'm not sure of, not confident of..yet i can feel myself enjoying and fighting to make a dream which i once lost dearly into reality. i really want to make this real. and i want to make it good. Not only good but excellent.

I can do it! Mantou can do it!

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a tough week ...off-in lieu on monday and my boss was on leave for a week..trying to finish the first phase of the project, or at least my part in the project and then the rest to the prof to manage the rest. a tough week..and as usual, the friday was a tough one too. sigh, something cocked up again..argh! i really hate this... =(

be involved in the APEC thingy..on duty rooster on the sat..thought the day was not an important one..but well, attended a briefing yesterday and realised that noooo..important events are going to happen..argh...and i'm on night duty..gosh..just hope everything will go smoothly..

but realise myself that i like operational tasks. managerial role especially in project budget management is still a challenge and training ground for me.

life in the company seems to have a lot of changes happening around me..new engineers with better academic qualification than me start coming in..another engineer has left the company..

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studies are getting stressed up...especially the pathology assignment..!! gosh..was rushing it just now..could not finish... (T___T) all the chinese words for the medical terms...!!! all cramped up in one long paragraph.....ARGH..!!!

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Halloween D&D 2009!!

Haa..here's the photo..photoshop by my colleague, Id. He's in the photo - the werewolf with the shades on..He's an avid photography lover..teaches me a lot about photography..

Love the off-camera flash he used - i will sound like a total noob - anyway, really surprises me about the beauty of flash..it doesn't give a harsh brighness to the complexion, objects..it's just lovely..hhaa..i as a no-flash lover start to change my perception about camera flash.

haha..anyway can't believe my colleague gave me the nickname "The Latecomer"..hahaha..i believe many of you, especially ZJ they all, will applaud for the right nickname, as I always tend to be late, and "rarely" extremely late.. =p

hee..i've very understanding friends..hahahhaha...

i looked pretty hideous with that halloween make-up. Did the make-up myself..anyway din take a lot of group photos with them, cos i'm always away or quickly have gone to the toilet to remove that hideous make-up of mine..i looked so monstrous and hideous... yucks....

Think i wanna walk around Clarke Quay next year's Halloween, heard from my colleague,Id, that there were many people walking around in costumes e.g. he saw two strangers dressed respectively as US president Barack Obama and the terrorist Osama meet on the street and they exchanged friendly greets..haha..the thought of the scene was pretty funny..

Pretty cool..haa..should go with Zj they all next year if there's a chance.. hee..

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My colleague CT was convincing me to go for the family day taken place in sentosa..initially had talked everyone that i'm not going cos it's super near to the exam. But when CT told me that she was forming a team for the sandcastle building competition, my persistence was shaken.

haha..wanna build sandcastle and destroy it like a godzilla!!!! ROAR..!!! Think it's prety cool to do that kind of construction and destruction.. =D

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My company's Dinner and Dance yesterday..

a very huge pour of rain...and i was late for an hour...

dressed myself as a vietnamese girl, with half of my face scarred...well..thought it's halloween, supposed to dress scary..hahah.. =p

and my table was one of the three most well-dressed tables..and the whole table of colleagues were invited to the stage to compete with the other two for the best well-dressed..hhaa..my table lost, but we still had gotten prizes! In addition, my table also had gotten a lucky draw prize too!

anyway the dinner was a little boring..food's not very fabulous...and the music seems to suit the older generation... =p it was only until after the dinner, when we hit the dance floor..

it's my first time dancing on the floor, with all the loud music and laser lighting..and there were a few other colleagues from other departments who stayed on to drink..first time saw how people did that "grinding" and gosh...i was seriously not into it..and haha..one or two shock of how drinking and loud music can subconsciously evolve a person mentally..hahaha..

tink i can see myself being shocked if i were to hit any club...na..dun tink i wanna go..

dancing there got the tiredness and boredom of me and i was glad to reach home by 12.30am..haa...

quite an experience for a D&D event..dun tink i wanna go next year..wanna stay at home or attend my lecture to prepare for my upcoming exams..hee..

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Master chef AG cooked again today! =D

cooked this lovely dish - grilled asparagus wrapped with bacon and cheese chicken hotdog wrapped with bacon..have taken a few photos..hee..shall show you all the photos one day when there's a chance..

love the dish..yum yum.. =D

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A pretty bad day in office..

Missed a meeting in the morning...followed by a colleague from another section who initially rejected my request for assistance in the project..got so worried, stressed up and panicked that I could not control myself but to cry..went to toilet, hid myself in a cubicle and started crying out..been very stressed out by the project for the past few weeks..and was very disappointed with myself and yet i could not tell my boss..cos i dun want to disappoint her again, and in case she started to doubt my capability and not give any important responsibility to handle..

ended up my colleagues, CT and JN saw my very flashed face..and started prompting me..but ok la..at least after saying out, i felt better..

lucky thing, my colleague from that another section had helped me after i msged and begged him over the sms to help me with it...

now i know how my boss was trained to be thick-skinned...when she was a new engineer in the company, she used to be in that section...

sigh and phew...

So tired........ @_@

gosh...tomorrow still has clinical attachment..arg...i've not read through any yet..!!! arg...stress.... =p

glad to meet AG just now after my lesson..hee...felt more energetic than during the lesson..was so fatigue that i dozed off every now and then during the lesson..

now i'm feeling tired again..gonna go sleep soon...

get kinda worried for my 2nd bro..he's not doing well in his studies..and i dun have the time to coach him..and yet he's such low motivation and he is still very childish and naive in his thoughts,etc..still not aware of the importance of studies and qualifications in this world..still din fully understand the impact which can be made on him and onto his parents..i blame tat for his school environment..to me, it's all in your mind....no one can influence anyone, except himself.

work work work...monday's a relatively smooth work day for me, to my surprise. but dun know what's about tomorrow..a lot of things awaiting for me to complete before i can go for my exam leave...feel like taking one-day off next month, and have a good break...i feel very burnt out...

came across this singer Zee Avi over a radio station. she's very good jazzy voice for her age - same age as me..haha..

dun believe? hee..you may want to listen to this song "Just you and me"

Another lovely outing with AG after lessons with my 2 students..

A walk in ikea, artfriend, liang court, east coast park...and carpool..haha..kinda chases all my work frustration away... =)

it's nice feeling to have him around.. =)

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Work hasn't been going smooth for me again...starting to get bomb attacks from colleagues of another section..i feel pretty bad, but i need to force myself, be thick-skinned to approach them..it's like sending myself to a minefield, though i know it is..

oh well, wat to do...it's work..i really hope tomorrow'll be a good start... =s

sigh.

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woo! next week's last lessons with my 2 students! woo! can't wait..! can focus more on my studies! =D

A nice after-dinner walk with AG at the reservoir just now..he came over to meet me after my dinner with my family..hee..

what makes me amazing that he listens to my narration, though i wonder whether he can understand what i'm trying to describe (i'm not a good story-teller)..but well, it feel good that he seems to be listening and making some responses to it..hahaha..

the reservoir has transformed into a really welcoming and beautiful place to hang out there..now there's a floating platform where people can fish and hang out there..and over there i told AG about my self-reputation of labelling myself the fishing goddness of liberty..till now, i still feel proud of giving myself the title.. =p hahaha..

love the walk today.. it's a lovely and enjoyable walk.. =)

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Love this song by Michael Buble..! The mtv is very cute and the actoress looks sweet and pretty...hahaha..and it makes me have an idea on some venue for my future wedding shots - yes, supermarket! i love this kind of subtle romance brought into the reality..but anyway i'm not getting married soon..juz to avoid all you readers' imagination and anticipation..haa..



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And oh, one more song! Colbie Calliat's "Falling for You"..very funny mtv and love the lyrics..

Almost thought i'm going to die..

my boss din scold me...thank goodness.. phew....but she gave me a few guidance points on the project..basically she sees that I have weakness in the project co-ordination and management of colleagues from other sections..at least she's frank with me, in a positive and gentle way..so she din scold me, put the full blame on me...phew...

and first time she complimented about my strength..pretty touched although i kinda know that it's part of communication skills - praise first, then point out the weakness..hee..

upon self-reflection, my boss is frank with me, so i know which are the areas i need to strengthen and improve..

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had lunch with AG today..enjoy his company..but dun know why, felt a little distant today..dun know whether it was cos of the stuff which i saw and tried to clarify with him..it's just that i felt left in the dark and insecure...i could feel i'm trying hard to communicate with him but there seems to be a wall blocking me and a catapult on top of the wall which will try to hit me..

I really hope he'll clarify and communicate patiently with me...

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kinda worried for AG at the same time..he's not feeling well and i kinda fear a lot of stuff, especially when i'm studying pathology module and am aware of the causes to many illnesses...

i really hope he's willing to change his lifestyle habit, not for me but for the better of his health..

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Exams are around the corner..and i'm starting to get very stressed up again...

Sigh.

I think I'm dead meat.

Work's utterly horrible today. =(