i feel stupid. (-_-)

stupid am i.


the STUPIDEST mistake i can ever make as a first aider.


was on my way to my student's house, travelling in a crowded train.


found a seat, and stole a little nap.


but it was interrupted by a fainting case.


she was brought to a seat, and i did the necessary treatment.


Asked her to lower her head to her knees, it's simply impossible to ask her to lie on a mrt floor.


so decided to take her pulse, to double confirm my suspicion.



and there stupid am i.


dun know why at that moment,


dun know it is cos i just woke up, and still felt a little blur,


dun know it is cos i was kinda nervous, it's pretty sudden.





i took pulse on the worng side of the wrist, where i could not feel any pulse at all.


it was only after when her bro n i had brought her out to a station platform, i took the pulse again, this time on the correct side of the wrist and only then i realised my mistake.


AH..!!


for all things, i made such stupid stupor mistake..!! this is a mistake which should not be made by any medical or first aid personnel..!!! ARGH...!!!


all of things...of all things....


i did remember to ask her brother about her medical history...when she had her last meal...





but





BUT....





(T_T)





i could make such stupidest mistake..!!


but of course, she felt better, and she was brought to the station's staff lounge to take a rest, and took some decent stuff to eat (she din really had her lunch, in contrast to from what i have gathered info. and it was only when i asked her personally, i realised she had sort of lied to her brother)


one of the staff even asked me whether i was a nursing officer. whaha..even if i were one, i will not tell him, cos i dun dare, and i made such stupid mistake..how can i have such face? but lucky thing, this staff din see what i had done in the train...


got very mad with myself throughout the whole trip later, that i sort of mumbled to myself a little, and made some minute gestures which expressed my hidden frustration..


was really very mad about myself.


but definitely had learnt my mistake in a hard way, and definitely in the future, i definitely not make such mistake.


but definitely this is not something which a first aid or medical personnel can make for a mistake.


ARG...!%&$&^#(@7$(9&@5%!#&%()!*9778%!&3610!8@%#$&*)(*_(*^&$#%$@...!!!


very angry with myself..!!

raining today.. wahaha..so din go for the dragonboat training.. =p

hahah..went with my colleague, J, and one of my supervisors to my company's recreational centre.

to play pool.

whhaa..

realised that everything which dennis taught me is just like what my supervisor taught J.

played quite a bit today.

rarely play pool, cos of the environment in the public pool house. then again, i only went there when he used to bring me there.
so count the number of times i play pool with a single hand.

din play very well. aiming was bad. well, anyway i hardly play.

dun tink i wanna play more.
dun know why.
i just feel the pressure to play pool.
i just dun feel comfortable.

this time, it's not a noisy pool house..hmmm..wait, it's quite noisy cos of J's laughters and her voice. =p
it's a small room, with only 2 pool tables n 2 snooker tables.
yet i feel the discomfort and tension.

Na..tink i better not touch pool anymore...

till now, i could still feel the tension and discomfort.

my bro's back fr cambodia...!! =D

glad to see him back from his TP's cambodia community service..went there to set up a satelite system for an orphanage managed by a singaporean.

he seems not to enjoy as much as i did in vietnam..whaha..probably due to the short time there. hahaa..

surprisingly, not that much interesting incidents as i had in ha tay.

but one thing for sure, they also have problems with the flushing system. whahaha..toilet's choked too..whaha..

but they din do anything to solve the flushing system, unlike us, where we actually had a rescue team lead by our founder C. whhahahaa...

and of course, they dun have a person who dropped a metal spoon into the toilet bowl, and ended up picking it up personally, with so many people watching.. (-_-)

whaha..my bro's bought a bag from cambodia..!! with a traditional feel.. (^^) so happy..! haha..i always love such bag design - local traditional feel..hee..

but no food bought from cambodia, he told me that nothing much special...

so sad.. =(

hahaha..anyway glad my bro is back...next to come back singapore will be my buddy..whaha..wonder how he feels about vietnam..

next to leave singapore will be zj...she's flying off to france, PARIS..!! ah..! my dream place to visit...but will be missing her... (T_T) definitely will be asking her a lot of questions relating to paris after she comes back.. =p

anyway my fever's gone down le..thanks ppl for your concerns..Ok, special thanks to dennis, HM, DLY, AS (dun tink he read my blog), renny..haha..hMm..i din miss anyone rite? haha..alright, thanks for ur concern..!! =)

friday's my favourite day..! =D
going for dragon-boat training which takes place in bedok reservoir..! haha..wonder how it feels like..hahaa..juz try for fun, and also since it so super near to my house, ahah, can go home straight fast..rest for a while, before i go for my tuition work..

whahaa..

hope friday's a good day for me..!!

at least please make me finish my design layout proposal..and hope can fulfil my boss's requirements. the proposal will be nothing special, with nothing funny, but due to the restriction of allocated space, that's the challenging portion. and also predicting the psycholohical thinking of my boss and the targetted visitors.

i only worry whether i can get it right this time. This is the second chance.

and i've been utterly distracted. n of course, due to my recent health condition, my proposal's been delayed.

please let me finish the proposal tmr..!!

wednesday fever

38.2 deg cel..

slight fever..

sian...

took panadol tablets in the office, and my work performance today is wholly rock-bottom. my back's aching and my throat is hurting me.

plain water tastes horrible today.

din eat during lunch time. totally fatigue. i ate sleep for lunch.

Even during the meeting with a school operation manager, totally fatigue.

and right now, i can't get to rest early. Need to help my bro with his mid-year exams. his progress is utterly slow and terrible. sec 1 now, still needs my help. and still needs to be pushed.

sigh.

Still having fever and yet i can't go rest early.

sian sian sian.

SO HAPPY..!! (^^)

YES..!! PEOPLE..!!

I HAVE BOUGHT THE TICKET TO "The Phantom of the Opera"...!!!

hahaa..spent happily and excitedly a total of 147 bucks (including the $2 GSt, i think) for the CAT 1 ticket..!!

Will be sitting on the 3rd row of the front section.
IN Front of the STAGe..
and
In the MIDDLE of the STAGE...!!!

OH MY GOODNESS..!! wWHHAHAHAHAHAA....!!!

I feel so so lucky...!!!
Can see the actors and the actoresses a little close up...!
Can see the costumes close up..!!! (I watched TV, saying that the costumes cost atomic bombs..)

WHAHHAHAA..!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH..!! me SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY..!!

kinda ex, but
dun know
i dun feel the ache at all.
nope, not at all.

and yup, will be watching the musical alone.

first time, will be watching such stuff alone.

but most probably, will be doing this more often in the future.
watching movie alone..
watching this n that alone...

hmm..me dun have the habit of jio-ing ppl, especially guys.
so yup, oh well, i juz need to get used to such life.

at least i dun have to lie to my mum of whom i am going out with alone.

n oh yA..!! remember i was given an assignment to think of a word to replace the existing one which is used in a water conservation programme? hahaha..my department's boss has accepted one of my ideas..!! n juz realised today that they have used this word in a presentation to some important people out there..hahaha..!! yeah yeah yeah..!! me very happy...!! ^^

but this time, my this assignment, the one which i propose to integrate interactive art into water conservation, my this proposal ,is not tat smooth-sailing. mine has been rejected. =(
but well, i'm prepared to accept this rejection. at least i know more what my boss wants.
haha..n i'm fully prepared to do one more time..!!

i have done it once, i dun believe i can't do it this time.

=p

YES..!! I HAVE DECIDED..!!

HAHAA..alright..i have decided..

I decided not to tell my parents about it. First. They sure oppose to it, will say waste money.. =p
And I am going to buy "The Phantom of the Opera" ticket tomorrow (Tuesday)..!!
And going to get the CAT 1 standard seat, and will ask for excellent seat.

A bit ex, but hmm..i've been dreaming to watch the musical since secondary two when i was introduced about this musical by my italian music teacher.

haha..well, i will take it as my early 22nd birthday present..!!

n ya, currently, will be going there to watch alone. =p

anyway i can't wait to go book the ticket..!!
Alright, will update u all tmr..

OH...!! OH..!! Please please grant my wish..!!!

exams are around the corner..!!

ARG...!!

me going to be real busy..!!!!

buzz buzz buzz buzzy like a beez..

when rest comes, i see stars.
it's a path which i have chosen, n i have to move on till i reach to a junction.

till now, i still kinda miss first aid duties...miss doing duties with my zone 3 ppl...
but...
sigh...

anyway me joining my company to participate in inter-department dragonboat competition. haha..well, the training is at my house's reservoir..so, hahaha..can walk home straight after every training session..haha..

but sian, last fri din get to go for the training, otherwise i might see SO, QZ they all...

decided to ask my parents about watching the musical "the phantom of the opera"...i feel the great urge of watching it...
hope everything goes well for me.

Been exercising more frequently this week.

hhaa..i can't take it anymore.

i feel fat.

eat and eat and eat.
sit and sit and sit.

aiyo.

haha..yeah..tomorrow's playing badminton with my colleagues..!! yeah yeah..!!
this time, my colleague's joining in..haha..

my work progress is slowing down.

that is not a good sight.

i am not working efficiently.
not at my tip-top performance.
totally distracted.

ARGH!

Now, given another assignment. but not very confident whether my this idea will be accepted. intending to integrate interactive art into water conservation.

probably u'll give such response.
"huh? how could these two link together?"

Ya, i wann link these two together.
but this is not really the difficult portion.

the difficult portion is how to persuade my supervisor to accept such idea.

what i worry is i am too ambitious, and may try too hard.
sigh, anyway i juz need to tink of plan B or maybe even plan C. in case my big ambitious plan doesn't go through.

anyway most probably going to get my hair permed again.
tis time, i am going storm. they got this 50% discount off. haha..
going to bet on this salon. furthermore, talked to the branch salon director today. he's offering his service.
OK, i will give a try.

hopefully this time, my hair is really permed. and nicely cut.

I am going to lay my happiness onto this salon director's hands le.
whether i will find my happiness, may depend on him.

whahhahaaa..!!! =p

We will not admit defeat...!!!

Will not admit defeat.

And never try to under-estimate a xiao mei mei-look-alike like me...

And never try to under-estimate a NTU undergrad.

I was told that during a job interview, there's differences between a nus grad and a ntu grad.

Apparently, was told that nus grad performs better than a ntu grad, during the interview.

reason being?
- more confident.
- more out-spoken.

aRgGggG..!!! we cannot lose like that...!!!!

well, kinda gotten me agitated..cos i feel this is almost totally embarrassing..already our standing has lost out...not including such area...!!!


BUT


Certainly

Such remark has fueled my fighting spirit.


Even higher.


Even stronger.


I make sure myself not losing out to nus ppl.
I make sure that i can perform as well as them, or even better than them.


I am not out-spoken. but i will make sure once i perform, i make almost everyone's jaws drop, make them impressed with me...


WHHAHAHAHA...!!!!!!

I have done it once,

I have done it twice, thrice...

This time, I am going to have it done.

AGAIN.

omg...

oh my goodness.

i have a fashion consultant.

Now.

I have a beauty consultant.

and my consultant is a guy.. whaha..

hmm..he taught me how to DIY double eye lids over msn, which till now, i still dun know how to do... =p
n asked me to get a new pair of specs, those who are trendy trendy ones..haha..my fashion consultant also says so.. =p

goodness me... whhaa..

i wonder my this friend does read my this bloggy. find it a little suspicious when he tells me all these beauty tips...

hhaa..but i still not very willing to try the double eye lids thingy..feel like torturing myself.
if exercise, i can still take it, n i willing to do so...

but DIY double eye lids....hmmmmm.....
let me tink about it..

in fact, i kinda scare of putting on make-up, even simple ones. dun really like things stick to my face..
but if by then i still can't get attached, think i have to really bend down totally to reality, and juz put on some simple make-up....

anyway talked with my this beauty consultant about some thingy..
talking about some happenings in the spore indoor stadium...
for a while, i really can't believe what had happened..me very sceptical about it..
i am more influenced by catholic teaching, but what had happened there was a total sceptism to me...

Seasons.

******************The Season of Fatigue******************

Totally fatigue.

Especially today.

Head been kinda dizzy whenever i got up from my seat. dun know why too..
been feeling so dizzy that i needed to cancel off my last tuition work of today.

My time killed by sleep.
Have slept for almost 11 hours last night, and yet I still feel so fatigue.

Even shouted for quite a period of time during my last night's sleep, according to my dad.
In fact, i can't remember why i shouted and i din know that I actually shouted last night.

************The Season of Farewell***************

Friday's last day of work for one of my colleagues. She's an attachment poly student, and has been in my company for 2 months. It's been great to have her around in the office.

And probably we gave her a lots of gifts and surprises. she kinda cried at the end of the day. =p

************The Season of Overseas*****************

My bro's flying off for cambodia soon, for some overseas community service. hope he'll be safe and sound there....

And my buddy's flying off for vietnam..WHoooOo..
vietnam ho ching minh...
vietnam ho ching minh..!!!
ahhaa.. =p
OKi, hope he'll take care there.

and very soon, ZJ will be leaving for france.
kinda envied her cos she has the chance to go see this beautiful romantic country.

hhaa..but i will still work myself towards this dream - travel to france.
visit the museum of louvre to see Leonardo da Vinci's paintings.
visit the paris opera house, to experience its magificence.
ride a bicycle and cycle around the street of paris.
sit at any cafe, and juz watch the passers-by.
haha.. =p
with whom? currently i can't tink of anyone. but me and myself. =p

************The Season of Self****************

First time talked about my past relationship with my colleagues.

Since they asked, i definitely answered. feel there's nothing to hide and be ashamed of about my past relationship. even told them about some parts of my reasons for the break-up.

Till now, probably it's a right choice for me leaving him. Given his social status soon in the future, he deserves better ladies who dress better and look more mature than me, and at least could help him in his career. One thing for sure, in the future, he'll experience a transition of social status and expectations. People around him will not juz evaluate him, but also his loved ones, especially his gf or wife.

And at least for now, he's performing well in school.

Told to be a motivational speaker in his class. and his tutors were impressed with his performance. Whahaha..

hhaa..

ok la, me glad for him, at least he's doing well.

******************The Season of EAT****************

Been eating a lot.

Almost everytime when i reached office, my stomach will start roll its drum.

Feel like a pig la...

most likely i will start going to gym to train up le..i cannot take it liao..starting to feel fat..argg... (T_T)

later's meeting DLY, YS, YJ and V for steamboat..something to look forward to..hahhaa..

What a seasonS....

(-_-) kena caught..

ARGGG...!!!!!!!!

for dozing off at work...tink caught by Mr L...ARRGGGG...!!!!

AHHHHH...!!!!

He din say anything..but i believe that he saw me dozing off.cos my head's knocking off to one side quite badly...!!!!!

ARGGGG...!!!

My image.....is gone....!!!! NOOooOOOOOoooOOo...

Me got very pissed with myself...sigh....sIAN AH...............................!!!!!!!

I feel like crying the whole day la..

of all things, got caught... (T_T)

for SLEEPING...!!

(T_T)

sian...

anyway me met up with Jac yesterday, to attend a briefing on a food survey..

ahaha..and we came up with some suggestions for our S5 ladies to prepare...

for both of our birthdays..

hhaha...

So, we are thinking to have an early birthdat celebrations, before ZJ left for france in june. hahhaa..it'll be so much more fun to have everyone to celebrate birthday..hee...

and Jac is wondering whether she could get her jigsaw puzzle for her birthday surprise present..hhaa.. =p

hmm..for me ah...juz dun get me any more soft toys le.. =p

can get me things more practical.. =p

hmm..tis year'll be celebrating birthday with no one special..wonder how it will feel like...but one good thing is, my birthday falls on weekend..haha..so not intending to teach the whole day. most probably sleep and slack at home ba...hahaa.. =p still have not planned yet..hahhaa..anyway it's quite early to do any planning..hahaha.. =p

dun know why, been tinking about something..

i dun tink many guys will consider me to be in relationship..hahaha.. =p

cos i look too young.
tink no matter how i try to dress up to be more mature, i will still have that element of kiddish look. will only make the guy feel embarassed to walk besides me...

please dun tell me that character/personality is more important..

Looks and image are primary social factors.

Secondary, characters/personalities.

AiYa..let's not discuss further..this will juz go on and on...

hahhaa.. =p

Oh ya..!! hahaa..Jac commented that i dress better now..compared to my old dress style. hahaa..me happy happy,cos first time she complimented me on my dress sense.. hahaa..and of course, she added that there is still room for improvement..haha..

definitely definitely.. hee...

sleepy day..slacky day..fishy day..under the same Monday sky..

Dear Sleepy Day,

i can't believe i sleep again.

slept for almost 8 hours and yet i can doze off while standing in the train, on my way to work..!!

Have you sprinkled some sleeping powder onto me, early in the morning? hope you dun do that in the future.

you are making me feel like a pig.

Ah..!! unless you are really bored that you decide to victimise me with your magical sleeping power.

Alright, i can understand you could be bored, that today's monday and everyone is so awake and excited to go for work.

Alright, i will like to book an appointment with you, hee..oki?

hmm..let me check my planner. alright, let's set it on friday, alright? haha..remember to bring Rainy Day along too, alright?

Cya soon..

Regards,
Man Sze

*******************+++++++++++++*************************

Dear Slacky Day,

hhaa..!! there you have found me..!! haha..

we've been playing hide and seek for these few days, and now then you find me.

WOLS...!!

hahaa..and ya, you find me on the wrong day, when i am supposed to be working hard and fast.

But well, nevertheless, i've managed to escape from your eyes.
Again..!!

yeah..!!

hey hey, try find me again..!!

hahaa..

and try figuring out where i write this letter to you..

whaha..no clues... =p

Happy finding..!!

Regards,
Man Sze

##############^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^######################

Dear Fishy Day,

Yes, I managed to sell a few fish to one of my customers, C (she's one of my students).

Quite of a good business. She's willing to buy more fishes from me today.

And of course, I am sorry to tell you.

Yes, I have given her some discounts.

So, she's more willing to buy more from me today.

I know I should not do that.
But as you know, we are in the same line.
Business is hard to do.

Without any discount, it's very difficult to do business. Especially for such a customer.
But of course, she's a reasonable customer and she's very willing to negotiate with me.
Had a real fun negotiation though.

hahaa..fun to negotiate, but not easy to make a 100% successful deal.

Alright, shall stop writing. Shall help you sell fish next monday, oki?

Happy fishing..!!

P.S. remember to help me get the best fishes you can ever fish. Thanka million..!!

Regards,
Man Sze

############****************************######################

goodness me, what a day!

Need to write to so many days today.

Alright, JIAYOU everyone..!! for YOur eXams..!!
Me praying hard for you all out there, the exam-takers..!!

JIAYOU...!!! =D

haha..went out with SO today..n the time passed really fast..i din buy anything but at least i know there are some offers. =) nice nice..will go back suntec one of the days...wahaha...

went to shaw tower's starbuck. it's been a long time since i went there. my last time there was when i was in junior college. went to ask SO n DT for help in my biology. haha..DT helped me with human biology while SO helped me with biotech. hahaa...real appreciated their help a lot, they are really helpful. n i met dr su dehui there, n he helped me more with human bio. though he only taught me once, i have learnt something from him - how to understand some concepts using analogy. haha..n i'm using such concept to teach my students now, n it really works well. my students understand concepts better. hahhaa..!!

had healthy discussions over in starbuck. long time din talk like this le..haha..cos at least i feel there's a balanced exchanges of opinions. tink i can converse better in chinese ba..haha..anyway at least i feel i'm talking some sensical stuff, and not joking n laughing. haha..me a human afterall, i need some seriousness in conversations. =p

haha..but ya la, SO is right about me. i will want to get married one day. hahaha..Ya, no matter wat, i still want to get married. wahaha.. =p
it's juz a matter of time, and whether my mum will let me go know more guys.
whahaa..

had a good rest today, at least i dun have to work..!! yeahh..!!! happy happy happy me..!!

hahahhaa...

but tomorrow's got to teach again. i know i will be happy cos it's my payday..!!!!!

whahaha...!! can start buying some clothes and shoes..hahha..

talked over msn with dly juz now. haha..asking me whether i have ever imagined myself wat i will be doing in the next ten years.

definitely have imagined.
and if everything goes smooth for me, i can really imagine even more vividly.
hhaa..but dun wanna say it here.
my dreams are a bit too big....
n a little bit too ideal...

wahhahahaa...!!!

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY..!!! (^^)

WhoooOO..been so busy sia..

Yup yup..been super busy these few days..

OKi, let's talk about monday..

and as usual, my student, C, was doing some bargaining trade with me.
A market place.
i'm the veggie seller.
C's one of the market aunties.
bargaining prices with me.
arGg...
somemore this seller needs to sayang the auntie...
whahaa.. =p

but really, i'm like a trade negiotator with my this student. Need to negiotate for a win-win situation..whahaa...

Okiiiiii, it's TUEsDay..!!

hmm..went for a site visit to school, a primary sch in bukit panjang...
n i can't believe that pri sch boys (besides pri 5 n 6) are so daring...they are so not shy...hahaha..

basically doing some water survey in a boys' toilet. our session in the toilet clashed with the school's recess time. so u see, this toilet is the nearest one to the canteen.

so boys started coming to use the urinals.
and well, i was there standing in the toilets.
and they were not shy at all.....
and many of them din wash their hands after using the urinals..!!! ARgGGg..!!

hahaa..but lucky thing was that, the urinals' section was partitioned by a tall and huge wall, so from where i was standing, i could not see anything.

but i feel so utterly embarrassed.

WEdNesdaY..!!!

WEnt to another school's site visit. this time's acs barker road.

felt so embarrassed walking around in a guys' school. so many guys...

but the school's very well-decorated. it's like entering a country club.

then went to help tend to my company's exhibition booth. (T_T) it's very boring tending the booth...but i was glad that my colleague, J, came to visit me and accompany me till the exhibition ended. so sweet of her... (^^)

Thursday....TODAy..!!!

WEnt for another school visit. hahaa..this time to my bro's school..!! n this time, my colleague, J, came along too..!! (^^)

hahaa...and got a mini treat there..love the chicken wings..!! YUmm YuMm..

hahaa..my colleagues even joked to sell them to the office, and earned some profits..!! cos this finger food tasted real good..!! hahahaa.. =p

hhaha..first time, one of my colleagues asked me for my blog..whahaha..!!

went to teach tuition in the evening..by the time when i reached my student's house, i was utterly exhausted. but funny thing is, once i started teaching, i regained energy..hahaha..

but got a bit pissed off with a bus driver on my way home. he juz drove past me, without letting me board it. there was still some spaces, n he juz drove past me.

got very impatient and pissed.

already very late at night, and the stupid bus driver ignored me.

and me was so super hungry (din have any food since 1300).

hahaha..

anyway, yeah..!!! tmr's Good Friday..!!

finally can slack...yeah yeah..!!

no tuition work, no anything..!!

so wanna go out tmr, with myself.

fine with going out alone.

u see, i've returned to my life as a loner. back to my junior college life before i was attached to dennis.

so, am i happier now?

hmm..i am happier now, definitely. cos the person has left, n i can feel my life to have resumed its serenity.

Anyway happy Good Friday to all of you..!! =D

so tired...!!!!

super tired....

although only one tuition work, it's enough to tire me out.
travelling to NTU is tiring...

i still need to teach 3 students tomorrow...one after another..can't even have a proper lunch..
but think it's alright, can lose weight...whahaha..!! =p

this year's my hometown HK's tenth anniversary celebration. sigh, dun think i am going back...