sunday's a nice one. two students cancelled their lessons, and i had some time for myself. but well, not totally for myself. had many to-do stuffs to handle.

today's lab alone with HB was pretty fine. initially i was pretty nervous cos i'll be alone with HB, and HM's not around. but luckily, still got to talk a bit, and the time passed pretty quickly. ended the session slightly earlier too.

a bit excited to have the nest semester started. cos finally can get to DLY, YS they all...then the ENE school mates also get to see the new look of me. hhaa..i would say a pretty different look of me..cos no more polo t-shirts, and a big bagpack.. =p

was talking the whole morning with my colleagues and the conversation subject was mainly about the emotional process of being pregnant and giving birth. at that point, i just have this feeling of wanting to experience the whole emotional process of being pregnant, with the husband sharing the whole "pregnant" experience, and the giving birth process. and full stop from there. WHHAHAHA..!!

but of course, this is just a thought, and that kind of short-moment desire. to me, at this present time, woman is the most beautiful when getting married and pregnant, but woman can be the ugliest when it comes to the aftermath of child-birth.

hahaha..ok, craps aside...

tink my colleague, C, noticed my that kind of excitement n "yearning", she jokingly asked me to get a boyfriend and get married, before getting to the stage of being pregnant.. hahahahahha..!

even my mum seems to see through me that i am pretty worried and paranoid of myself not being able to get married. hmm..haha..ya, i am pretty worried that i am not able to get married, cos i keep feeling that no one will want to marry a girl like me. and probably i can't see myself being a married lady, probably cos the vision of my future husband's very blur now...although i do often have the yearn to give my utmost TLC (tender loving care) to the man i like a lot, especially in the future when i am really able to complete the whole tcm course.

aiya..hhahaha..ok, stop all my silly craps and negative imaginations...

been busy and tired. recently, whenever i come home being tired, i juz have that kind of urge of wanting to cry for a moment.

for what reason? i have no idea.

probably i just feel very lonely going through this whole tcm process, and i realise that obstructions already exist.

remarks from some of my friends..say such course's no point taking it, can learn a lot from the net...questioning whether you can make it throughout...telling you that you'll be mentally drained by the time stepping into its 2nd or 3rd year..

all these...i need to face them one by one, all by myself.