Good day | Bad day

today...

considered a bad day for me..

n a good day for D..cos he's attached since yesterday..

which i believe he is very happy..it juz tat he seems to try restrain his happiness, n tried to clarify things out with me..trying to tell me things which tries to make me feel better..hoping i can feel better...

but deep within me, i know tat he's happy tat he's attached to this girl. and i know he likes this girl a lot.

probably still trying to cope this fact...i am not feeling very well the whole day..feverish..and the nauseous feeling..
but guess it's something which i've to cope with myself...rite?

move on...what a term...

well..sigh..ya..

probably a big mixture of feelings...happy for him..but at the same time, i feel jealous..probably jealous tat this girl will be occupying the rest of his life and the rest of his life phases..n as for me, i was juz an occuptance of one phase of his life..

but hmm...

as for myself..probably i'm surprised with myself tat i din cry over spilled milk. i thought i will cry very badly if one day i were to know tat he's attached to another girl.

probably it's all the intuitions which i've been getting all these while, and i've told myself tat i better be prepared for such news soon..

and my intuition is right.

again.

what a parody.


but
i know D is happy and feeling blissful right now.

i have to be happy for him. i am happy for him.

but in the future, there will be more which i have to handle..
meeting them in streets, lovey-dovey...holding hands..
the rings...
the terms which D will use to call her...
surprises which D will probably give her (n she's the lucky one)..
the every sweet message sent to each other...
and finally a wedding card.

but this girl's a lucky one. Cos she will be treated much better by D...

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it's been a heavy downpour..

thunder and all...

starting to feel what God's telling me again...

Is He feeling sad for me, so He sent tears (rain) to wash away my hidden saddness?

Or is He feeling angry with me of why I could not be more confident of myself in the past, so sent thunder and lightning to give me a good scolding?

whatever it is..God has arranged happiness for D.

and probably He has sent this downpour to wash away the debris..and start afresh..

**********************************************

And i know this coming monday will be a very different monday. And this year will be a very different one to D n to me.

But it will be two extreme moods.