Merry Xmas, everyone~! =)

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Xmas eve, 24th Dec 08:

Half day in office.
Nice. =)

Did little work and totally looked forward to the programs after work.

Been raining the whole day.
Not sure what it means.
Doesn't feel negative to me.
Probably the rain was to let everyone to have a new beginning.

Immediately after work, met up with JD, one of my wushu frens, to attend her church service.
Hmm..it's very different from the masses which i attended in SAC.
It's not solemn, very joyful, you can clap, you can see the youths jump up and down to the hillsong's songs..
Probably i prefer those which are solemn and traditional. =p
Well, at least i dun get to see any disturbing sight e.g. the tongue thingy (my apology, have forgotten its proper term).

anyway something kinda intrigued me when i was listening to a girl giving a short narration of how she converts to christianity.
Do people only turn to spiritual support when they are in a deeply desperate and helpless situation? And the interesting thing is that people seem to have become more optimistic when they feel they are spiritually comforted.
Well, of course, let's assume this is an ideal case.

Overall..hmm..it's an interesting way to celebrate my xmas eve..and it kinda gives me a better decision on how i wanna my r/s with God. Highly likely, i'll just wanna an intrinsic and quiet r/s with Him, like wat I normally have been doing so. No cell groups..little church service..
Just quiet personal time between Him and me.

Trying to look for a good gift in Raffles City, and realised that my definition of a good gift can cost up to a thousand plus bucks..wasn't prepared to fork out tat budget =p in the end, even called him up in the end to announce my "financial embarrassment" (i felt so paiseh about myself). haha..finally got him a hopefully-not-too-bad belt at an affordable price. =p

and he got me a pair of earphones! =) Now i enjoy better acoustic quality.

P's been very cute...the way she wags her tail..hahha...simply gives me the urge to estimate and measure the angle and the frequency of her tail wagging...

and hmm..probably how much dust her tail can sweep it off.. =p

A quiet dinner in IKEA..was pleased that there weren't many people patronising the big furniture mall.

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It's xmas! 25th Dec 08:

Can't really recall the events much.
Received many xmas wishes..thanks, guys!

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26th Dec 08, Boxing Day:

A nervous morning to kick off the Boxing Day.
Tim sum lunch with my family. This time with one more person joining in the lunch.

Phew! thank goodness, it's considered a good impression.
My dad told me that as long as he treats me well, my dad's ok and happy.

i was like "wow.."
Such a simple requirement? =p

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27th Dec:
Going to meet JD later in the day to attend my first church service. See how it goes...
Definitely one thing for sure, i'm not going to do any form of promotion or watsoever.

Meeting YS they all later!!!! =D can't wait...been so long since i last met them...!
A little disappointment tat DLY'll not be attending..
he's one great fren who has helped me alot during my uni days..though there are many times when i can get quite pissed off with him or take his good temper for granted =p

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A little thought:
it's xmas...been feeling very nostalgic and sentimental..and haha..yes emotional too...thank God for all the people He brings to me throughout my life..grieved my guilt..my sins which i know they can never be ceased away..

Photos reloaded and thoughts distorted~

Finally have some time to upload photos...

Presents which I've received for this year's xmas..

An electronic chick...will chirp whenever you stroke its head..and when you never stroke it, it'll chirp lesser..no matter wat, it will still chirp..

Supposedly it can flap its wings when it's lifted up..but i've gotten a crippled chick..hahaa..but i still love it..it's very cute..

my first bro got a shock when he thought tat i bought a real chick..haha..
ok la..i din buy tis chick..it's given to me..haha..

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Gifts which I've prepared and given to ZJ they all..

Love the angel figurines...look retro to me...hhaa..hope the ladies love the stuff I've given them...

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Present from one of my colleagues. Was pretty surprised to have received from this colleague..din expect any gift from her..

she's a nice colleague to be with, only tat i still tend to be shy when i dun know her long enough..a very capable colleague too..haa..

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Din realise that i've to get gifts for my colleagues too.. =p

Considered myself to be lucky today. Was pretty clueless of wat to get for them juz now, especially my colleague who gave me the Crabtree's jam..

So anyway, cut my nagging short.

Bought the candle cups in Body Shop, the wooden figurines from a shop, and marconi letters from NTUC..

Bought all these within half an hr while waiting for AG to have dinner together. And finalised my so-called creativity while having tea session with my family.

Pleased with my efficiency. =p

Oki, as you see, the white glue has not completely dried up yet.

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Was surprised to have received this gift.

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Tada..!

Gifts from ZJ they all..!! still awaiting HM's gift..hahah.. =p

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Was quite in a daze throughout the whole office hours.

Not sure why too.

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Half-day tmr! yes!

Be going to attend a church service, and some last min shopping for AG's gift.

His requires a bit more walking and brainstorming.

Din get him a birthday gift and i feel kinda guilty about it.

(yes, i know i deserve some scolding for this)

Want to get him a good xmas gift..but i'm still clueless of what to get for him....

(T____T)

hahaa.. =p

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Speaking about gift..juz remember tat one of my uni fren's still holding on my Olivia Ong's music album..hmm..haha..need to have it back from him... :p

Gathering, gathering, gathering..

Bbq with AG's colleagues on sat and had my first try on Blue Label..haha..pretty nice..love the way it spreads in your mouth as you slowly let the liquor go into your throat. Had only 3 cups of it..dun really wanna drink too much as i dun see the point in gulping liquor unless i'm totally depressed.

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Xmas gathering with ZJ they all on sun in vivo..i was terribly late..was really apologetic about it.. :p
Received many gifts which are practical and useful. =) nice.
haha..and it's an coincidence to have met AG there..haha..and finally he gets to meet all my 4 frens..hahaha..

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Just came back from a wushu bbq gathering in downtown east..met many friends whom i have not seen and talked to for ages..all of them haven't changed much..

On my way back home, hmm..had very mixed feelings..
But it's nice to see everyone...

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Just finished watching a jap movie - "10 Promises to My Dog"..

Super touching...kept tearing and sniffling throughout the whole movie..hahaha.. =p

the golden retriever puppy is so cute....n the adult retriever is so pretty, just like P..hahaha..

like the opening quote said by a zoologist Alphonse Toussenel,
"After God created Man,
seeing him so feeble,
He gave men the dog."

Kinda miss P now...haa..she's the sweetest temper I've ever seen..n love the way when she sees and greets me..very needy too..haha..but i find her very sweet...

Really hope one day I can have the financial ability to keep a dog to keep me company...

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Just back from ZJ's place..haa..she's organised a surprise farewell party for Chris..hahaa..
Haa..and AG's there too...ahahaa..first time brought him to see my frens...

it's really nice to see ZJ being so blissful in this r/s with Chris. =)
probably knowing her through the years, she's grown and i can feel very strongly that ZJ really enjoys having Chris as her company and as her life partner..

WOW...hhaaa..

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Everytime when i get together with ZJ they all, especially, i always have this tendency to have such thought. Especially when i was in jc, when i am working now...i always feel blessed to have these frens to be together, for life.

And wat's interesting is that i can get to see everyone growing through their years..ZJ's now engaged to a man who really loves her..n hahaha..in near future, attended her wedding ceremony...n probably wat's next is when the rest of us are attached..
omg...hahhaa..

Haaa..probably cos i feel very blessed to have such frens, i feel at ease with my social circle. hahaha.. :p

one thing i wanna wait for is tat we still can get together when we have become old..
omg...tat's something i really wanna wait...n i'm willing to wait... =p

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watching braveheart movie again..love the music...keep listening...it's magnificent, grand, proud and strong...totally wows me..

n love the love story and the war scenes in the film...

the ending's very touching...almost teared...hahaha...tink was very touched with william wallace's steadfast in his love and also for what he fights for.

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During conversation with Sindy n Jac during ZJ's place, i was advised to keep my job.
hhaa..hmm..well, it seems to you readers that i've this tendency to wanting to quit.
hmmmm..i do have such thoughts..especially when i make mistakes..hahaa..ya..tat seems to make me an escapist..
i dun know..i love my job..i love its stability..i love the control tat i can have the time to study my tcm..yet i'm starting to lose grip of my motivation in work..
probably in my context, i wanna my job to be meaningful, to be less mundane..i wanna to have more control of my life...
but i have to keep reminding myself wat i want in life right now, wat's important to me right now and i juz have to bite my way through..
i've lost a chance dearly, it's a very painful lost..n i dun want to lose it the second time n let it be my life regret.

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my very first facial treatment tmr..nervous...
i'm very slow at picking up all these beauty kind of thingy.....

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Yup..this is the project which i was heavily involved for the past few months...not sure about the feedback..basically till now, the feedback received are still pretty positive..

My colleage, Jas, is back from her korea trip..hahaha.. received this little cute keychain..haha..so cute..looks like da chang jin..hahahhhaha...

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ZJ's birthday celebration.

It's our 2nd time to have steamboat meal together, after 10 years of friendship..

hahaa..thinking about it, tink this friendship is really amazing..for 10 years, we have never arranged to eat steamboat..every year we will try to meet and celebrate each of our birthday, and whenever months we are free..

Really cherish this friendship. =)

After the proper steamboat meal, we had the ice cream buffet. Really cool and fun. So somehow or rather, we started forming stuff...hahhaa..

An ice cream sunny side up..hahaha..

And tis was what happened after all the photo-taking of the sunny side-up..

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Tink i know why i've been so moody these few days..

i'm lovesick..

whahahahahhahaha...

anyway met up with AG just now and we went over to ntuc for grocery shopping to get some ingredients to cook spaghetti at his place. haha..DLY called at the time when we were shopping and when he found out i'm grocery-shopping with AG, he kept laughing la..!

hahahaa..

Bought this reindeer soft-toy there..haha..intending to use tis to decorate my office desk..

Somehow, i start to fall in love with christmas again..

This was what we have bought..

A band was playing and singing outside the store...and it was totally bad...the instruments look nice and cool...but ended up AG having a bad headache after hearing their performance.

Hee hee..and a little surprised when AG gave me this..haha..though it's free, i juz find it pretty sweet of him..tink it's the way he presented to me..hahaha..it's not tat he knelt down n gave me tis biscuit la..hahhahaa..

P's so super sweet and cute..she kept following me and pouncing onto me..and i've to say tat she's the sweetest and most gentle temper i've ever seen...love her lots..

hmm..the spaghetti was generally yummy..though the sauce was not very thick.. =( partly cos of my cooking experience..

AG is really nice..he wasn't very pleased with our first cooking dish..his facial expression seemed to saying "i'm not very pleased..too diluted, etc.." ... but he seemed to reassure me by complimenting tat the minced meat which i've cooked were pretty nice..plus the fishcakes.. :)

it's the first time to do cooking with him..haa..personally i'm very shy la..hahhahaha..

bought jelly powder..hee..wanna make some jelly tmr..

BORED.

BORED BORED BORED...

=p

a lazy sat...played 3 hrs of game n i felt so sick of playing...

arg...

but meeting AG later, waiting for him now...

catching up with Dev..he's back home from sydney..yeah..arranging some class gathering with him...
haha..and we are trying out an african cuisine restuarant..

hopefully the response from the class is good..

many gatherings..tmr's my colleages n i (going to wack the sound system again)...monday's gathering with the Chia Se 06 team (hopefully it's confirmed..been so long since i last saw them)...ZJ's fiance's farewell party...wushu gathering..gathering with my NTU clique..n last but not least, xmas gathering with ZJ they all..!!!

one month...tink it's more than enough for my rest...
tink it's time to do some revision on my tcm..
Gonna reach out to higher marks n higher ranking!

din hit the museum today..not convenient to get there..haa..

bought a blouse and facial products..n =) hang out in starbucks which is situated at the little lovely corner of city link mall..first time been there..

haha..bought a cup of hot old english tea and left myself a few cents left in my wallet. hahahhaa..
but enjoyed solitude, watching "Music & Lyrics" and the first quarter part of "Forrest Gump".

din manage to blog over there, which was my initial intention. Din manage to get access to the internet..thank goodness,i've gotten my personal laptop with me to accompany through the evening..otherwise i really wanna cry...haha..

it's weird for this month...my exams are over..no tcm lessons...n my big project is over...office is calm and peaceful....

i dislike such feeling...it's like the sense of emptiness...prolonged sense, i've to say..i jus tend to develop negative thoughts over time..

i really dun like it...every time when i tink about it, i jus wanna cry... (T____T)

tomorrow's sat..and this weekend is a long one...but i'm not really looking forward to it...
juz feel tat i'm too free...I juz feel very weird...feeling so awkward tat kinda frightens me at times...

guess i can head out to museum tmr..n national library to borrow books...n hang around in starbucks again..this time gonna bring more money out...n hmm...ya...probably a day out with myself.

watching "Braveheart" over youtube.com..miss this film...it's one of my 2 most favourites..love the scottish music and the orchestral pieces in this film...

Freedom.....

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Probably it's the after-hectic sydrome...i'm starting to question my presence in the company...sometimes i juz feel i'm not apt for the job...it could be the high expectation upon myself..yet i've to be tactful towards any form of office gossips...

sigh....

Haa..guess i really like Avenue Q the musical a lot...

here're some clips on Sesame Streets..hhaa..till now i still love to watch it..
hahaa..n cookie monster's very funny...as funny as the internet/porn-addict monster in Avenue Q...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5thpdEEE-DE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shbgRyColvE&feature=related

and this is ben stiller with telly monster..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_yohVlVbEA&feature=related

and this is kermit the reporter frog..love this classic clip..hhaa..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRhgqZcpFdw&feature=channel

and this...hmmm..unnecessarily censored..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8Vh9_Hi1kY&feature=related

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AG's busy after work tmr..thought i can ask him out for a movie or sth..

guess i wanna hit the museum tmr...n some retail therapy..n stoning in starbucks again..hahaha...

jus dun wanna go home straigh after work on friday...i dun really like the feeling when it comes to fridays..

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Tink i'm really been deprived of english books for the past few months..

keep reading books which are in english whenever i can have the opportunity..

Gotten all my exams' results..thank goodness, i dun have to re-take my bio..haha..

but heard from my classmate that there are quite a number who have failed this module and are re-considering of whether to continue on to the next semester.

hmm...dun know what'll happen next semester..it's either i'll see a big reduction in the class side or maybe a small reduction.

it's survivor tcm out there.

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Ohhh..my director's giving a departmental lunch to celebrate the success of the launch of the initiative tmr..yeah~ =)

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watching Dylan Moran's "Monster" over youtube.com.

love his speech..very sacrastic...yet humorous..mocking all sorts of stuff..
i love such genre..haha..

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It's been relaxing...exams are over...and my bosses are clearing their leave.. =)

Back to work, and not very used to the work environment..haha..

relaxing day, i guess.

Got the book which I had been involved for the past few months. Dun know why, i can't feel anything towards the completion.
To celebrate the success launch of the initiative, my boss gave us a lunch treat.

But was quite hurt from a remark..cos for this book, i've actually skipped many of my tcm lectures and got very stressed over it throughout the months of editing. However, the only regret was tat i did not have the opportunity to help out with the launch cos it coincided with my tcm exams. Haiz.

well. it's just a part and parcel of work life. juz need to learn mistakes in a hard way at times.

It's a busy Sunday.

Met up with ZJ they all for a lunch and ice cream buffet in yuki yaki to celebrate ZJ's birthday!
haa..it's our first time giving such a surprise..haa..but well, the surprise came out pretty well. hee hee..

In the evening, met up with AG and his parents for dinner. Went to IKEA in Queenstown too..and walked around..hee hee..it's nice to walk around in IKEA with AG.. (^^) though my toes were aching pretty bad due to my high-heeled shoes (T__T)

Checked my office email and saw my boss's email. hahaha..goodness me..the email sounds so....omg...hhaa..
but i really can't help it...i really need to take the leave to study for my exams.. =p

yeah!

All my papers are over..!!

Hee..

Met AG after the paper and he gave me a very simple yet lovely surprise.
haa...ended up myself giving nervous, happy giggles.

it's very sweet of him...

heee hehee heee heeee heeee.... =p

A post of In-sanity

Probably affected by last evening's paper. Morale's been heavily hit by the paper.

It's not a difficult paper, it's a paper which i find some difficulty in recalling the facts.
ARGH.

I've seeped into the world of self-doubt.

Acupuncture for tmr's paper.
*GASP*

So many points to remember...ARG.

I dun know whether i can remember everything. I seriously hate exams. And i can't wait for the one-month holiday.
But it's only one month! I dun have any time to rest...! ARG.
And I'm so scared that i have to go for a re-test, which takes place in mid-dec. ARG.

Not really looking forward to work. Have some bad feelings that I've many things to do, especially after the launch of the intiaitive.

Wonder how's the launch, and wonder how the book looks like.

And i wanna talk rubbish now. rubbish and only rubbish.

how's the weather?
fine.
not raining. arh.
RAIN. Give me heavy pour.
Wash away all the moodiness.

RAINNNNNN..

how's the food?
hmm.ok. mum's cooking. edible. feel i'm home. foc.

how's the study getting along?
hmm. ok.
Exploiting my brain's capacity.
all the acupunture points, all the passage ways of the points...

wat r u doing now?
blogging, obviously.
listening to class95..immune to the music play..
thinking wat am i doing here..thinking of how to get my brain functioning...
thinking of how to tune the frequency of my brain wave back to sanity..

*pulling out the rose petals*
study it
study it not
study it
study it not
study it
study it not

ah. study it not.

no, i dun wan.

never mind, do it another time.

study it.
study it not.
study it.
study it not.
study it
study it not.
study it.

ah. now's it's "study it".

But i'm so drained now. can i not study it now?

never mind, i shall try it again. this time, shall start with "study it not"

study it not.
study it.
study it not.
study it.
study it not.
study it.

hmm. study it.
Arg. sickening flower petals.

Imagine how often people are always stuck within themselves and are trying to pull themselves out of their own sticky situations?

We should be called glue-beings.

Another one paper down!

Not a very good feeling to have this paper ended in this way though..

Sigh. (T__T)

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Results for my herb module is out.

And I fulfilled my own expectation.

But when I was with some of my classmates this evening before the biology paper, i realised that my team leader has gotten a very high mark for this paper.

I need to work doubly hard and efficiently.
There is a strong competition in class.

And i can feel that i'm not doing hard enough.
And guess my this biology paper is going to affect my class ranking. ARGH.

It's ok. At least I've learnt how to juggle work and studies now. I just need to be more patient with myself.

HAIZ.

blogging right now...watching "Black Books" ...to make sure that i'm still sane after studying all the piles of bio in CHINESE..

ARGHhHh...

Studying human physiology is so taxing to the brain...

was very drained......

till now, still kinda drained...

but definitely i know how to juggle my studies better for next semester..next semester i believe i should be better.. =p

( T___T ) so tired.....

i can't wait for my exams to end......i wanna pamper AG more than ever.... =p

yeah~! One paper's down!

but this paper only constitutues 20% of the whole module on herbs.

well, hopefully should be within my expected mark range for this paper..

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Love this song "Saviour" by Alicia Keys.

Lyrics are nice, the music style fits my kind of taste.. =))

Hee..finally out of my little 'cave' and met AG for a simple birthday dinner in Brazil Churrascaria.

It's basically a carnivore buffet-style of dinner. Food is generally edible, but i love the service. Dun know whether cos the service is genuinely good or i've been looking around observing everyone in the restuarant. One of the waiters which seems to be in charge of serving us is pretty meticulous in his service.

So I've given a 10 out of 10 for the restaurant's service.

haa..

Din give AG any kind of surprise though.. only sang him a bday song over the phone last night when the clock striked midnight.

haa..took a few photos in coffee bean cafe, after our dinner. Found it pretty amusing and sweet. hahaahahaha...i still smile at the thought of it.
hee hee hee...

P's a very sweet dog ...she still came to greet us, wagging its tail happily, even though she looked super sleepy and tired..hahaha..very cute and sweet dog. i adore her a lot.

Did a bit of work just now. and arg, tue's my first paper. Very nervous. Pretty nervous that i may not pass the paper.. =p even though i've studied much.

However guess i must not put a lot of pressure on myself, dun wanna the pressure to affect my overall performance.

So much things to blog...and have not blogged about the surprise birthday celebration for HL. hahaha..HL's so super touched by his little gf's plan...hahhah...

Going bonkers....

so much to study, especially the herbs...

all the medicinal effects..AIYO!

Seriously dun know how's my project getting along..next week's the official launch and i dun know how's the final outcome like.

Been having small nightmares of my boss scolding me of being careless. =p
Din see her for these few days...dun know what she'll tell me off or maybe she may not even say anything... (T__T)
ARG....

Have not written my performance appraisal..seriously dun feel like writing...i dun feel tat i'm worth to be appraised given such a lousy performance i've given.
Given myself a self-appraisal and i give myself a D for it.
Seriously i tink i'm not performing well, based on my own benchmark.

Tink i can handle better for the next semester - of how to juggle my studies and work better.

Now i know why they say part-time studies can be tough. It's tough when the exams are nearing and yet at the same time, at the back of the mind, work seems to be always hanging heavily onto you.

Cos right now, i'm experiencing it.

Can't wait for Dec..can shop..can spend lazy times with AG...can read other genres aside fr tcm...can revise my tcm basic theories...can decorate my office desk..no boss in office (yeah~)...can play games...can watch tv programmes...can go laze around in starbucks to stone...can blog as long as i wan...can window-shop for a dslr camera...can prepare a gd present for AG (and ZJ they all..haha..)....can go for my other favourite lessons...can exercise....can sleep with less tension...can go get a good facial treatment....can get a good hair treatment...can pamper myself...can pamper AG...can get more clothes for work...can get shoes...can get more bags....can get myself a new mp3...can go sing "it's my life" with Jas...

hahaha...one month..yet so many things to accomplish...

Blog of the Day (2)

Super stressed and still stuck in the world of self-reproach.

Starting to question about my self-worth and capabilities.

How can i be so careless?

i can't stand myself being careless. And it's been a long time since i've been careless. =(

Head's still aching tremendously, yet i've bite my teeth to struggle through the piles of notes and the maze of self-reproach.

ARGH.

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Seems that AG is facing almost the same stress level as me, maybe even higher than me..

To AG: JIAYOU JIAYOU, dear..!

Leave starts today, to prepare for my next week's exams..

Just checked my office email..

and realised that there are still some mistakes..from this morning's emails...

very disappointed about myself - still very careless and making the same old careless mistakes..

(T__T)

Dun feel like writing my own performance appraisal...think i should just leave it blank and not take any performance bonus.

i'm feeling so lousy about myself now...i supposed to assist my boss in reducing her burden, but i can feel tat i'm not doing so...it's my very first project and i feel i've done very badly.
(T_______T)

Having a terrible headache now - great anxiety for both - my project and my exams..

Guess it's one mistake which I've learnt and need to avoid...

Juggling with projects and my exams are very tiring....can feel tat i'm going to have high blood pressure...

Right now, as i'm studying, i'm worrying about this project at the same time...it's really very tiring...

To YS:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YS~!

Hope you've enjoyed your day today! =D

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HHaa...saw myself on a photo in my company's intranet e-notice board...

not tat i was on a wanted list. but was taken during my company's family day in zoo.

hahaa..the photo looks quite comical to me..hahahaa...

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OOooOOO...i'm getting so nervous....hopefully will receive honest comments..especially good comments.. =p

may even need comments from DLY, YS etc...those who are in the engineering line..

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Exams soon..arg...i'm so scared...

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To HL:

HEY HEY..! CONGRATS~! =D

Part of credits must be given to me, okay? Especially during that time when i had to shout "encore". =p

*hahah..i'm so thick-skinned...*

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Was woken from my afternoon nap by a call from AG.

hee..was happily surprised when AG asked me about tickets to Avenue Q musical performance.

Din expect that he actually still remembers this musical.. =p

(^^)

was almost on the verge of tears..hhhaa...was pretty touched by this little surprise..

Before we are attached, we did have agreement on going for this performance together.
Hear very good comments from him who had already watched it over in New York..
want to watch it badly...

hee...really excited for tomorrow.. yeah yeah yeah yeah~!

Thank you, dear.. =)

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Been a busy day. =(

My colleague Id and I could not go for my department's seminar cos we still have urgent projects to rush and to meet the deadline. Even my manager was very busy with many things.

sigh.

Can't wait for my project to be over before i went off for my exam leave.

Right now, still left the foreword. And still need to wait for this person, tat person etc to clear..blab blab blab blab...

can't wait for this project to end and launch..

and cos of this project, it's the first time when i have to interact my dept director. can be super stressful. O_x

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ha..was talking to Id what are our office plans after our projects which each of us are currently managing.

haha..i can't believe that the first thing in my to-do list duing the dec is to decorate my office desk with nice stuff.

cos right now, the desk is decorated with files and books, and papers, and blab blab blab...

*******************************************************

Sometimes, i have this perception that my boss have 2 more children - Id and me.

Often, Id and i have all sorts of mutual arrangements..taking leave, time-off, and thinking of how to persuade our boss to let us go for seminars so that both of us can have a temporary get-away from work. =p

********************************************************

Received a surprise sms from my student, WJ.

haha..he initiated to sms me to start giving him tuition after letting him rest after his final year exams.
haha...i'm glad that he's so hardworking. =p

But he's very cheeky - always bullies me.

*********************************************************

been hearing to Michael Buble's "Everything" .

=)

Love the rythmn and its lyrics. hee.. =))))

To AG:
And in this crazy life,
And through this crazy times...

It's you,
It's you,
You make me sing.

You're every line,
You're every word,

You're Everything!

Went to zoo early in the morning for my company's family day. Super tiring..

But it's really nice of AG to have met and fetched me from my office building just now. :)

***********************************************************

Probably DLY is right. I'm really thinking too much..

Have told myself that I shall not shed any more tear - i've grown to get tired of myself crying..i'm a strong mantou now~

Went to the same place to attend my buddy's, HL, band performance.

The whole performance was much better..the lead singer sang better too..haha..n even got to speak to the lead singer's mum

;p

lucky thing AG brought along his dslr camera..so much sharper and at least i can capture more expressions..

but can only upload these photos after my exams.. =p

Plus

1 embarrassing moment (T____T)

Was asked by HL just now in the afternoon, that have to shout "encore" later after the whole performance, cos it's kinda sth to do with his little happiness. hahha..

And during the last past of the last song, HL mouthed some words across the stage, reminding me to shout "encore" after this song.

So after a silent pause after this last song ended, I shouted "Encore!".

Only that, i realised I'm the only one who shouted it.

And everyone told a shock, including AG and HL.

Furthermore, the male lead singer even asked me to repeat what i've juz said.
I was like....start making nervous giggles and kinda hyperventilating..whahaha...

Took quite a lot of courage to do tat solo shout.

****************************************************

Been busy with my school work. exams are around the corner and the notion itself is occuping my mind most of the time.

ARg...

****************************************************

It's the third time when i had such similar nightmare.

It's kinda making me feel insecure and paranoid...
think it could be due to one reason tat i realised i've put quite a bit of weight...
N it's terrorising my sense of security..and i'm starting to be scared...

I dun wanna the same form of fear to affect me in a r/s..i dun want to repeat the same insecurity....

(T___T)

The more i tink of it right now, the more i feel like tearing...start to develop all the possible negative thoughts i impose upon myself.
"Why can't I be like those girls who can eat so much yet not gaining weight easily?"
"Why can't I lose weight easily?"
"Why am I feeling myself to so lousy in grabbing a guy's heart for long?"
"Am i really stupid or what?"
"Why am i always so stupidly lousy in fashion sense?"

It's all the why-why questions which constantly runs in my head, ever since i know i've gained weight.
And all these questions are very 'surface'...all associated with the perception of beauty from a guy's point of view..

The worst of me has gotten over my sanity.

after tcm lesson, went for a supper with AG. =)

haha..think it's kinda first time when my parents actually allowed me to go for supper when it's nearing 12 and i'm supposed to have reached home by then.

haha..i'm sounding like a cinderalla..haha.. =p

anyway saw a kid collecting empty drink cans in the hawker centre where we had supper.
Din really affect me much until when this kid approached us the second time.
Curiosity kills the cat. So while AG was trying to empty his drink can, i took the chance to talk to this kid.

Learnt from the kid that he's helping his dad as his dad was kinda injured on the leg and could not walk properly, so came out to help. In addition, he told me that the cost for an empty can has dropped quite alot.

Coincidentally, his dad walked past us and kinda greeted me while holding a burning cigarette in his hands. i was like (-________-).

He is only a lower primary school kid, with a younger bro who was also collecting empty cans for his dad. Besides, this kid gives me a terrible feeling that he might have picked up the skills of deception. And working at such an environment, it's not going to be positively influencial to his personal development.

Probably it kinda hurts me to see tat. When i passed him the empty can, I told him to study hard so that he doesn't have to come back here to work. And he just nodded slightly.
When i watched his response, it worried me more. It's either that he might not even have a chance to go school yet or he doesn't like to study (Din ask him further though).

I dun know..i just dun like to see a kid to be situated in such an environment. just feel that in Singapore, it's necessary toh have at least a basic tertiary education. But ya la..it's just something which urges me to tell something to that kid. Whether he will understand what i wanna tell him depends on him ...

Went to help out as liaison officer to VIPs for Marina Barrage opening ceremony.
Been going there for "rehearsals" for the past 2 days...

and got myself a little sun burnt in the morning.. =(
now i'm worrying about the wedding lunch on this sunday..arg...

and spent a few hours in Marina Square with my colleagues - lunch, played arcade and coffee.

anyway a few shots on Marina Barrage...

Exhibits

hahaa...guess whose butt is tis?

haha..it's Adrian Pang's..! =p

I know...this's sounding kinda pervert of taking his butt from afar..

but the whole of the day, he was looking so serious....my colleagues and i were kinda scared of getting near him, even to take photos with him..

=p

And he's the host of the opening ceremony.

oki, here are the shots which have been taken, using my hp camera..

And this is one where i took where the crest gate was opened. So, if i'm not wrong, this is the hydraulic jump - a hydraulic concept which i've learnt during the uni days..

Really amazing.. =)

2 afternoons in Marina Barrage and got the chance to sit in my colleague Id's old beetle car. haha..

2 afternoons in Marina Barrage and I got dehydrated twice. And now a terrible cold.

Was so sick just now that I went off halfway during my tcm lessons.

Coincidentally, met my old classmate, RH, on the bus.
haha..initially both of us could not really recognise each other..haha..

din really catch up much with him in the bus though. was sitting diagonal each other with my back facing towards him. but he still looked the same - just looked kinda fatigue.

but it felt nice to have met old friends in an unexpected way. hhahaa...not sure if one day i were to meet D on the streets. hmm..

Back to work today, and was totally sleepy in the first half of morning.

skipped my tcm lessons today and studied intensively in Macdonald's for full straight 3 hours plus, with only a McChicken burger for my dinner.

Was kinda disappointed when AG told me something. Had feeling that he might have forgotten what day is for tomorrow. Just hope that it's due to his fatigueness which makes him forget about it at that moment. But if he's really tired tomorrow after work, then i've to force myself to be understanding and tolerant. At the same time, have a plan B with me and keep myself super busy and tired myself out so that i dun have the chance to think about it and get paranoid.

As I was walking towards the mac's exit door, accidentally overheard one guy's remarks.
And i simply destest the way he talked to his gf la..What he pissed me totally off was when he said something like this,"If you want, you follow me. If you don't want, just stand aside and...." and there he went rattering aggressively and the gf was looking at him, helpless, utterly upset and totally demure.
But from the looks of his gf, she looks very demure and simple-looking.
No wonder she gets pushed around easily by the bf. HAIZ.

At tat point in time, really felt like hitting his face with my bag..really detest the way he talked to his gf la..! it's super irritating..and simply reminded me of something...
seriously the way he talked to her was super threatening and hurting...really got that urge to smash him hard in the face and told him off.
ARG,.(&*%&*@!^&#(@##(*@#&@(#

Was totally pissed off that I kept thinking about this encounter during my way home on a bus.

Really irritating...and kept thinking about r/s.
When a girl gets too demure, she gets manipulated by the guy like a helpless puppet, and her goodness is totally taken for granted. So gets neglected very easily cos the guy knows that she'll not be mad whenever he makes careless mistakes.
When a guy treats his gf too nice, the girl becomes too demanding like a tigeress.

SO

does conflict spark because of the careless negligence of maintaining the balance of r/s?
and
Does breakup happen cos the balance has been totally lopsided, yet only one side of the parties is trying hard to restore the balance and eventually gives up?

Well, either way, it takes two hands to clap.

Photos reloaded~

Finally have squeezed out some time to do a few photo-editing. Not very good at it though, still trying to toy well..and many shots were not well-taken on tat day. =(

Anyway these are the few shots...

Ha..! My buddy, HL..!

The 2 lead singers...

hmm..not too bad...but can be better though..

Both are still studying in poly..think they're from Singapore Polytechnic... =p

This drummer is pretty good.

This is one sweet lead singer - think have swept feets of several guys there...

Hmmmm.. ;)

Met up with AG to have korean steamboat buffet with his gamer friends just now.

hmm..they din talk to me, haa..but i'm pretty fine with it..as long as AG is there, i feel comfortable.. hee.. =p

Haa..and from the conversation, haha..learnt a little bit more about AG..hahaa..

First time AG peeled a prawn for me (though he's using his hands)..haa..and the prawn tasted sweet too...
So i peeled a prawn for him too, using chopsticks and a spoon..
whahahahaahahahaha..

*****************************************************

Seems to me, AG is pretty comfortable with me..hahaha..but i like it.
haaa.. =)

*****************************************************

Hee..here's the girl, P...

She's one lovely lazy girl..hahaa..AG and I adore her lots.. =D

************************************************

My house's in a ridiculous noise..

as usual, when the year end is approaching, especially this year, this usual event occurs in my family.

It's just a part and parcel - i juz need to tolerate for these few days. kinda used to and immune to it now...

dun know how long this will last...

I've experienced myself before - just hope my youngest bro will face the reality as soon as possible.

Told him many times and he doesn't heed my nags. so now he needs to bear the consequences.

Art is only a dream job, but it is not a reality job.

Just hope that he will wake up from his dreamland this time. At least as for now, it's still not late to catch up.

It's a rat race out there.

gosh gosh gosh

gosh..all the engineers in my company are appointed to be liaison officers to VIPs for an upcoming opening ceremony..

gosh....and really wonder where are these VIPs coming from...

*********************************************

was approached by a colleague.
and it seems to me that i've no choice but to agree. and right now, i'm feeling kinda stressed and nervous la..

vertical challenge for president's challenge charity. and it can get quite pressurizing to be in my this team....

**********************************************

yeah..! gotten another mini version of my company mascot soft toy..!! =D

hhaa..it's added to my little mini collection in the office. so now my colleague and i have given names for our 2 these "new-comers" - Billy and hmmm..gosh, i've forgotten the girl's name..

haha..think the more to be added to the collection, the more i'm going to forget the names. hahhaa...

***********************************************

Met KH for lunch today. hhaa..been long time since last talked to him..haha..

anyway he's still as usual la..still called me ah bui.. -_- but ok la, at least he din call me in the staff canteen.. pHEW...

haha..anyway of course, his main purpose is, of course, to do his job..hhaa..

haa..and he told me tat I really look different, and adding that "pple in love always look different"..

whahahhahahahahaha....

*****************************************************

anyway =) met AG after work..was studying together in Starbucks..haa... =)

and was stuck in a traffic jam together..haha..got so bored that we decided to send a song dedication over to a radio station, but =( our sms was not read...

haa..but i like the time spent with him..even if stuck in a jam..hahahahhaa... =p
(haha..of course, i'm not the one who's driving..haa)

anyway..shall dedicate this song to u, AG, over here..hahaha.. =p =p



***************************************************

and another one song for AG..!

haha..it's one of my favourite songs - "I say a little prayer" by Diana King.



****************************************************

(Monday)

My buddy HL's band performance in Cathay's Ben's & Jerry's..! CONGRATS for getting through the audition, BUDDY!! =D

hhaa..was expecting some interesting stuff but well..not very happening in the end..

anyway saw a few pretty girls..haa..n tink it's my first time knowing AG's taste for girls..
hmmm...haa...

will try to post photos which i've taken using my dad's camera in the next few days' time..hmm..but dun expect too much..
tink this time my photography skills are pretty bad.. (T___T)

**************************************************

Been very naggy to AG recently. Mainly cos he's not feeling very well.
But i can't help nagging la..was really very worried about him, especially for one aspect.
sigh.

And I'm starting to feel myself being terrible, yet i've good intentions..

**************************************************

(Tuesday)
My dad's finally back home from HK..!! YEAH~~~!!

as usual, once when i reached home after my tcm lessons, went to search for my dad and woke him up from his dinner nap..hahha...but my dad's really nice to me. He woke up and had chinese tea session with my mum and me.

haa..as usual (again), went around the possible areas to look out for any new stuff which my dad's brought from HK. =D
and asking lotsa questions...

And i simply love the char siew bought from HK....hee..was surprised that my dad really bought them just before he comes back to SG.

(^^)

I love HK char siew.... =)))

but i miss my HK curry fishballs and zhu chang fun...why my dad never gets me curry fishballs....?

***************************************************

Probably it's been quite a while since i saw my dad.

His hair's grown whiter. And for that first sight, i had an urge to tear, wondering what had gotten my dad's hair turning white so fast.

But u know, i've my ego. I held back my little sadness and greeted him cheerfully.

finally finished my tcm notes..hee.. =p

sunday...
=)

can't wait to see AG.. =)))

n hhaa..P as well....hee...she's one dear girl...

*************************************************

tcm exams in a mth's time..hahaha..i've been repeating tis in this blog many times..

can't help it la..starting to feel the pressure... =p

*************************************************

can't wait for monday too! Will try to post some photos on Monday!

HL, all the best~!

AG and I will be there for you~! hahaa...

*************************************************

Realise that i like it when AG sits at the bench, waiting for me to finish my tcm lessons. =)

met up with ZJ they all for steamboat dinner..!! =D

hee..and AG went along with me to bugis and =) he met these 3 girls (HM's not around though).
initially he was quite reluctant to go. But i dun know how, he still met these girls and i'm very glad... =)

but both of us were kinda nervous la..haha...think he's more nervous than i am..haha.. =p

Really appreciate the effort and that courage, i believe, of him to meet my these frens who have been with me for 10 years... =)

It's really very sweet of him... =)))

So, anyway the girls and i headed to one steamboat shop.

and guess where it is?

hee.. =)

it's tian tian steamboat...

hahaa....first time when AG and i met through..haha..my wonderful great buddy of mine and best friend of HL. haha...

but..haa..at tat time, i had no feeling towards him at all. no love at first sight. hahaha...

really interesting la...

but after knowing him for a period of time n by my intuition..yup.. =)

been a nice catching up with the girls...ZJ's engaged and she ah..ahhaa..can feel the happiness in her..haha..really feel happy for her...!

hhaa..the only thing which pop in my mind was that KH will be one major victim on ZJ n Chris's wedding...he bullied me so much during the uni days..hahaa..on tat day, it's payback time...!! whhahahaha... =p =p

n during the chat, realise tat ZJ also had quite a phobia for marriage as well..hmm..i can't give her good advices and any form of good reassurrance..cos i myself also have a phobia for it..

=p

and we miss HM too...wonder how she is now...

******************************************************

still thinking about AG meeting my those 3 good friends..hee..

was really glad that he made tat extra mile...

dun know why i'm so happy about it...but probably cos these girls are close to me and i know they're very nice ladies...

This is bad..
Monday's a blues...

My mind's been brainwashed..oh nooo...

took an hr plus of nap after work just now. was very fatigue and un-motivated.

still stuck in my project. ARG.

this is starting to get me pissed off.
i'm getting really tired and un-motivated..

sigh.

=(

my whole mind's all over tcm everytime when i start working on my never-ending project.
well, probably partly cos my leave's not been approved by my boss, and it's worrying me..

think sometimes, i really need an early assurance before moving on with stuff..

arg..was doing my tcm homework just now. gosh, it's been so long since i've been given homework.
"homework" this term..sounds so alien to me now..

watching the news just now and learnt that my jc principal's now become the principal for raffles institution.
i'm so proud of her..haha.. =p
she's been a great principal and i love the way of how she has been protraying herself. =D

*************************************************

Dinner with AG and his parents last night. A nervous one for me. =p
tat's me - it takes me some time to warm up to people.

but i really need to read up on other genres besides burying myself in tcm. was often in the conversation maze last night. =p
nevertheless, i dun mind making the effort to try my best to catch up. :)

**************************************************

Was flipping through a magazine just now and came across this little interesting paragraph in Shell company's advertisement. Love the paragraph.

Say No to No

Isn't it high time someone got negative about negativity?
Yes it is.
Look around. The world is full of things that, according to nay-sayers, should never have happened.
"Impossible."
"Impractical."
"No."
And yet "yes."
Yes, continents have been found.
Yes, men have played golf on the moon.
Yes, straw is being turned into biofuel to power cars.
Yes, yes, yes.
What does it take to turn no into yes?
Curiosity. An open mind. A willingness to take risks.
And, when the problem seems most insoluble, when the challenge is hardest, when everyone else is shaking their heads, to say: let's go.

***************************************************

1 meaningful fowarded email to share:

the 90/10 Principle

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. But you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffeeonto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do youcurse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

***************************************************

i think i'm growing up.

haha...

i dun know. hhaa...i just feel it's a different me. and i dun know whether it's good or bad.

hmm..ask a few frens before..but doesn't seem to have the right answer i'm looking for. =p

another classmate had his tcm studies deferred one year..so my class size has reduced by one...

it feels like some sort of some survivor thingy...hmm..Survivor TCM, probably i shall call it..

sigh...

it's only the first semester of our tcm second year. and within this semester, 3 have deferred their studies..

sigh......

***************************************************

Sunday (5th Oct):

Went to watch "House Bunny" movie. it's super blonde show, but it's super funny one..did enjoy it very much..haa..

**************************************************

As usual, busy week - especially for my boss.

met a vendor yesterday..was pretty surprised to meet a guy who dares to show the feminine side of men..hhaa...been such long time since i've felt so interested in a meeting.. =p

Received a second wedding card. This time's from the sjab z3 ppl..

hmm..believe will receive more in the future..n very soon, they will be friends who are very close to me..or maybe who used to be very close...

this is starting to feel weird...

but it's very interesting to observe or talk to these newly wed couples..eg during the wedding dinner, what's the groom thinking...what's the bride thinking...

hmmm..if it were to me who's the bride..i always have this terrible paranoid thought that i might be a runaway bride..
hahaa...think i just need a strong and firm sense of security..otherwise can juz visualise me wear a pair of "just do it" shoes to match the dress. =p

haha..just a casual thought la..

***************************************************

yeah~ finally gotten this bigger version of my company's mascot soft toy~!


as my company has been given a prestigious service award, they show their appreciation by giving each of us this mascot soft toy..! =D

so now i've a mini version and a bigger version. yeah~~~~

my colleague who introduces the "clubsnap" forum to me sits opposite me. on the day when we got this soft toy, we were so thrilled that we started to design different postures for them..and we even named them "Wally"(that's the name of the mascot), "Sally", "Molly" and "Dally"...

quite stupid la..but hahhaha..it's super funny la...

and the next day..hahah..i've gotten another extra..! think it's given to me by mistake..but well, it's good luck for me..! =D

hee..so decided to give this limited edition Water Wally mascot soft toy to AG.. =p

******************************************************
Another colleague's finally back from her korea trip..!! so happy..! cos i'll not be very nervous when i'm asked about some statistical info. =p

so gotten these from her..! =)

hahaa..oops, please pardon the torn wrapper..so excited to eat right away that i've forgotten to take a photo of them... haha..

and i've gotten more sweets and chocolates..!! hahaa...cos they dun eat, so they passed them to me... =D yeah~

************************************************

tcm exam is in a month's time...and my boss has not approved my leave... =(

************************************************

Have started exercising again. It's time when I need all the energy, stamina and drive to push and maintain myself at tip-top condition.

JIAYOU~~~~!!!!

For those who are still studying, think it's exam period soon too..JIAYOU, YOU GUYS!!!!!!

JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU...!!!

=D